The truth, being Iowan, is far more banal. Behold the Iowa State Democratic Party headquarters:
To quote friend PDB:
I don't think it's too much to ask that your political party have a statewide HQ that's worth firebombing. A couple of anarchists are gonna look at that shack and go "Man, these poor guys. They've got enough problems. Let's go find a bank."I'm suddenly feeling a little bad for them, to be honest.
"Guys, they want to take away our first-in-the-nation status in primary season. They say we're not relevant, too flyover country, too small."
"I have an idea! Let's run the caucuses through an app! Apps are modern!"
A FEW MONTHS PASS
"Okay, guys, it's our big chance on the national stage. Are we ready?"
"Oh, sure."
"Is that new app working, Olaf?"
"You betcha!"Our city/county, with a population one third the size of Iowa's, hasn't been able to get the new mass transit fare-paying app up and running properly for six months. In retrospect, this shouldn't be a surprise to anybody. But every new day is a surprise to a dismayingly large percentage of the populace, as it turns out.
/checks pocket
Crap, my archaic paper bus pass expired at 0100 and I have to actually go stand in front of a machine at a station like a neanderthal to do anything about it. I CAN PAY FOR GROCERIES WITH MY WATCH, INDIANAPOLIS! IT'S 2020AD! WHAT IS THE F&*$ING HOLDUP?
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