Wednesday, February 05, 2020

When Bush League Bites Back

So Berniebros were eager to claim the whole Iowa caucus debacle was somehow the fault of DNC skulduggery, the shadowy influence of Hillary '16 still attempting to block their socialist Santa. It was a conspiratorial meme eagerly picked up by the Right, which has been fertile ground for conspiratorial memes for some time now.

The truth, being Iowan, is far more banal. Behold the Iowa State Democratic Party headquarters:

To quote friend PDB:
I don't think it's too much to ask that your political party have a statewide HQ that's worth firebombing. A couple of anarchists are gonna look at that shack and go "Man, these poor guys. They've got enough problems. Let's go find a bank."
I'm suddenly feeling a little bad for them, to be honest.
"Guys, they want to take away our first-in-the-nation status in primary season. They say we're not relevant, too flyover country, too small." 
"I have an idea! Let's run the caucuses through an app! Apps are modern!" 
"Okay, guys, it's our big chance on the national stage. Are we ready?" 
"Oh, sure." 
"Is that new app working, Olaf?" 
"You betcha!"
Our city/county, with a population one third the size of Iowa's, hasn't been able to get the new mass transit fare-paying app up and running properly for six months. In retrospect, this shouldn't be a surprise to anybody. But every new day is a surprise to a dismayingly large percentage of the populace, as it turns out.

/checks pocket
Crap, my archaic paper bus pass expired at 0100 and I have to actually go stand in front of a machine at a station like a neanderthal to do anything about it. I CAN PAY FOR GROCERIES WITH MY WATCH, INDIANAPOLIS! IT'S 2020AD! WHAT IS THE F&*$ING HOLDUP?