Sunday, January 03, 2021

"If Batman did meth..."

Seen on the bookface:

Now I want to write "Trailer Park Bruce Wayne". Instead of a hidden garage in a hillside, the "Bat Cave" is a carport and the Batmobile is concealed under a tarp. Bruce's buddy Al is this guy who rents the spare bedroom and keeps the Batmobile's smoke screen tanks topped off with Winstons and drives down to the Circle K to swap out the propane tanks for the flamethrowers.

It looks like someone was making a Jack Daniels-fueled attempt at cloning the Cooper Markette, although why someone would want to clone a hideous failed Seventies kit car is beyond me. Were the people who laid all that extra fiberglass drunk at the time or what? Notice how the badge on the faux Continental hump doesn't center with the bar in the back window, and the taillights aren't either of them centered?

There was a story from Car and Driver back in the day... 

One of the writers had a Ferrari test car at home, I think it was a 275GTB. One of the magazine's photographers came over and they parked the car in the writer's front yard, pulled out a couple lawn chairs, and spent the afternoon drinking, talking cars, and contemplating the Ferrari from various angles. 

It wasn't until the photographer got the car for the technical three-view photos to publish with the road test that anyone noticed the Scaglietti bodywork was a hot lopsided mess. "Not a square corner or plumb line on the car." 

The writer joked in his review that two pairs of trained eyes had spent an entire afternoon ogling the car without noticing this, so maybe all the asymmetries were intentional, like the Parthenon. 

This is like that, but ugly instead of beautiful.