Cringe-a-licious.

The plague of goofiness upon the land of firearms usually causes polite people to snicker behind their hands, but occasionally someone feels compelled to call out the derpy, cringe-y nonsense. You know, the Punisher skulls and the Gripknives and the pistol bayonets and most of all...

Once upon a time, I named my issued M240. In my defense, I was a young idiot. Naming your gun is one of those things you should grow out of quickly. It’s a gun, it’s an inanimate machine, it doesn’t have a personality, and it doesn’t need a name.

If you need to name something, go to an animal shelter, I’m sure they have a dog, cat, or iguana you can adopt and name. The exception is if it’s punny. Calling a Desert Eagle a Deagle or a Mosin a garbage rod is one thing, but calling your AR-15 Lucille is cringy, and you’re not Negan.

Of course, standing in front of the tidal bore of goofiness at your typical gun show and saying "stop!" is a Canute-like exercise in futility, but I understand and sympathize with the urge. Sometimes you just gotta say it.

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