As part of the elaborate system of alarm clocks at Roseholme Cottage, the teevee cuts on at zero dark thirty to one of the local stations, which means local morning news. You don't realize how this stuff gets in your head until something bad happens, like the nightmare I had this morning. The one where I was being seduced by Barack Obama.
Dream Obama was such a nice guy, very sincere in his nanny state beliefs. He was also very informed about local political issues, like why the county road bypass is pissing off the chicken farmers and which high school needed a new gymnasium. This is interesting, because I know damn-all about the local scene. Also, he was real suave. It was hellish; I woke up feeling dirty, mostly because the dream-me never retorted with "You only love me for my vote."
For Vishnu's sake, people, don't let your kids sleep with the teevee running. Lord only knows what ideas could get into their still-softboiled little noggins.