As part of the elaborate system of alarm clocks at Roseholme Cottage, the teevee cuts on at zero dark thirty to one of the local stations, which means local morning news. You don't realize how this stuff gets in your head until something bad happens, like the nightmare I had this morning. The one where I was being seduced by Barack Obama.
Dream Obama was such a nice guy, very sincere in his nanny state beliefs. He was also very informed about local political issues, like why the county road bypass is pissing off the chicken farmers and which high school needed a new gymnasium. This is interesting, because I know damn-all about the local scene. Also, he was real suave. It was hellish; I woke up feeling dirty, mostly because the dream-me never retorted with "You only love me for my vote."
For Vishnu's sake, people, don't let your kids sleep with the teevee running. Lord only knows what ideas could get into their still-softboiled little noggins.
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22 comments:
Good Lord!
Dirty- hell, I wouldnt' be able to GET myself clean enough. I'd be showering with Lava soap until my skin glowed red.
Weather channel is a bit safer. Heather Tesch.. I dunno.
Good parents don't let their kids watch local news. They let them watch Fox News.
Re Weather Channel: Jennifer Lopez or Kelly Cass for me, please.
Remember that the Weather Channel is a hotbed of the warning delusion. You might wake up from a dream of the deluge.
M
Warming. WARMing.
Sheesh!
Caffeine is your friend.
M
And the weather channel plays that crappy jazz. Ugh.
He's so pretty!
I fear the memory will drive you mad... (der)
I was mad because in the dream I never said "You only love me for my vote."
Have to say I'm mildy curious why knowing about how a bypass annoys chicken farmers would impress you, even in a dream.
The whole (insert sleazy voice)
Dream Politician: " Hey bebe, I know ALL about how bypasses annoy chicken farmers."
Dream Tam: 'Ooooh, your're so suave. Take me now."
Is just _too_ disturbing. I must go wash my brain out with bleach now.
You need brain bleach?
What about my needs?
Definitely something to that: I don't sleep with the TV on and can't understand why someone would want to; but I don't even like dozing in front of it prior to going to bed. It puts creepy thoughts in your head that don't get rationally fact-checked.
Try waking up to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHhuyhlSSiA
It gets me going every time.
BRB
So tell us Tam, is it twu?
I listen to Black Sabbath. It drowns out annoying background noises like TVs, alien invasions, and such. I have never found this practice to have any negative effects, other than causing this strange desire to tune all my guitars down to C#.
Falling asleep with Portland OR TV running through my head ... Tom Peterson chanting "Free C.B.!" over and over again ....
Warren Zevon is somewhat lacking in the guitar department, though Jackson Browne's mini-solo on "Johnny Strikes Up the Band" is pretty good. Damn good stuff otherwise.
Did he have a Barry White voice in your dream?
Tokarev
That wasn't a dream...Just MSNBC doing their daily filatio of Obama.
Diamondback
We took Warren Zevon to shoot machine guns once when he was performing here.
I used to have a theory that Teletubbies was subliminally projecting "Vote Labour Party," but then Teletubbies really took off here, too, and there went my theory.
Awakening in the middle of the night to a spittle-slug-streaked bolster cushion and the sight of the Indian head test pattern was way less creepy than that ghastly Obama fugue. Yuck.
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