Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Spooking the locals...

So, I may have mentioned that I live in this relentlessly gentrified, hopelessly twee little in-town neighborhood called Broad Ripple. There's a business/entertainment strip that is all pubs and live music joints and restaurants and vintage clothing boutiques and hair salons. Stretching several blocks away from that in every direction is block after block of quiet, tree-lined former suburb, inhabited by single adults and young families. You will often see Kelli, the personal trainer or Skip, the newly-minted attorney out pushing baby strollers or pedaling their mountain bikes.

I have referred to the 'hood as "The O-Zone", due to the fact that the (admittedly sparse) yard signs are pretty much all for one guy, as is to be expected in the demographic, which is young, artsy city-dwellers. Every now and again it makes me twitch, though. Like the other day, when I parked the Bimmer (urban camouflage) between the brand new 911 and the Jag X-type (the latter with the obligatory "O") where my doors should be safe, and ran into the Fresh Market for some necessaries.

I'm in the checkout line with my purchases when I draw the attention of the dude behind me. Or rather my shirt does. He's tall and thin, with a tan physique that speaks of lots of frisbees thrown to bandana-wearing dogs in lots of public parks. His salt-and-pepper hair is pulled into a long ponytail and he blinks through wire-rim John Lennon specs as he says "Does that shirt really say...?"

"'Nuke Berkeley'? Yes, it does."

"But," he asks in genuine puzzlement, "why would you want to nuke Berkeley?"

"Because," I say in my sweetest voice, the one I use to get toddlers to take their medicine, "that's where they grow hippies, silly!" And I picked up my purchases and headed for the door, leaving him standing there in slack-jawed puzzlement.

22 comments:

MadRocketScientist said...

Nothing like smacking the dominant paradigm with quiet sledgehammer.

Anonymous said...

Admit it, you've been GLOWING with happiness and felt warm and fuzzy ever since, that guy made your day.

I'm sure his head would explode if the blackwater T needed explanation.

DirtCrashr said...

It's a beautiful thing. Do the black-dyed hairdo piercings at the used record shoppe sell an ironic "I Heart Backwater" t-shirt?

BillH said...

I wish there was a YouTube video of that...

next visit, wear your "Clearcut Berkeley" T-shirt.

phlegmfatale said...

All this time I've been so right to love you.

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Where can I get a shirt like that?????? I want onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne!!!

Farm.Dad said...

ROFLMAO My sweet bride of 27 years enjoys her similar t shirts but she is a little bitty blonde/redhead , kinda a strawberry roan who might weigh 100 lbs with an anvil in each pocket . Oh and she carries almost a 1911 , its a detonics .45 so old that they did not make them in stainless then .

Justin said...

Hell, I live in Berkeley and can't disagree with the sentiment. Here, you see a Kucinich sign for every 3 O's out here.

The Old Man said...

PULEEZE!!! WANT!! WHERE BUY? Oh, and a photo of you in the afore-mentioned t-shirt would be too snarky for words.
Love the sentiment. WANT!!

Anonymous said...

Good work, Tam. His head probably exploded shortly after you left the store.

I just got a T-shirt for my birthday:

"Guns don't kill people.
ATF agents do."

Can't wait to wear it.

Joe said...

You are so my hero.

Rabbit said...

Since the Kalashnikitty order came in, I've been wearing mine around NTX a bit. All I've had are positive comments, especially from the HotBlackChik in the furniture store last weekend who said "You be rockin' it in dat shirt!"

I assume that's a compliment, right? Anybody?

SWMBO wore hers to work last week. One of her young Asian student assistants said "Oooh- you know Hello Kitty?"
Wife said "Yes, but my Kitty has a rifle!". Student responded "Oh!"

Regards,
Rabbit.

GeorgeAtl said...

One at a time, Tam....one at a time!

SpeakerTweaker said...

A request:

Go back to Fresh Market. Get the videotapes of the time/date. Don't forget audio. Make copies.

I'm a paying customer, here! I'm sure more would line up!

Nicely 'executed':)



tweaker

Breda said...

I 2nd Phlegmmy.

Cowboy Blob said...

*Sigh* If only I were a foot taller and a decade younger....


HA!
Word verification: rummp

theirritablearchitect said...

but, but,... you're scarrrring the whiiiiite people!!!

Hahahahaha!!!!

Earl said...

And I so enjoyed your story, and my visit to Berkeley on my way to the wars... but they had the best D&D shop in town. And you know what they say about Hippie chicks... they don't carry guns.

Army of Mom said...

What you really need is a Ranger Up shirt like my I Club Hippies shirt like I'm wearing. It is always good for a few looks to see the soccer mom wearing this shirt.

Anonymous said...

Okay, now I have to buy some VFTP gear.

I can always eat my SHTF rice and dried beans for the next month.

Ed Foster said...

A humble "God Bless You Ma'am" for that beauty. I'll trade you bumper stickers if you want.
I'll take a "Keep the Change" and give you one of my "Support the troops, shoot a Democrat" in exchange.

Chas S. Clifton said...

Berkeley grows physicists. For hippies, go to UC-Santa Cruz.