Sunday, November 16, 2008

Plot? Hello?

I have actually seen folks complain about Quantum of Solace not having a "plot".

Uh, hello? This is a James Bond movie, not Terms of Endearment.

For those of you who may not have ever seen one, here's a spoiler:
Chase, Fight, Chase, Sex, Shootout, Sex, Villain Confrontation, Escape, Chase, Shootout, Dead Villain, Sex,
There you go; the plot of every single James Bond movie ever. Going to a Bond flick and complaining about the lack of a plot is like going to an Episcopalian church service and complaining about the lack of strippers.

Next thing you know, folks will gripe about lack of character development. "I just don't feel like Pussy Galore was a fully fleshed-out, three-dimensional character..."

23 comments:

Ted said...

Also provided employment for Max Boot, at least while he was writing War Made New. He has a whole chapter on Gustavus.

OK, so it's only a bit on Lutzen ...

BobG said...

Bond movies are made to be fun, not thought provoking.

perlhaqr said...

Hey now, you put too much sex in for this one.

Tam said...

There are minor variations. It's how you tell the movies apart. ;)

Anonymous said...

Once heard a movie critic complain that a Batman movie wasn't realistic enough. What a schmuck!


verification word: mulaz. I kan haz, please?

Jeffro said...

Don't forget the kewl toys. Gotta have a couple between the "Oh, James" moments.

og said...

pussy galore had three dimensions. hell she may have had more than three.

Turk Turon said...

Maybe in your Episcopalian church; mine had plenty of strippers.


Captcha: buyingw

E said...

I gotta say I was disappointed in the movie.

Fight: the scenes were shot in that cut-cut-cut too close too close too close, bounce, bounce, bounce style, which leaves me wondering why I paid money to SEE something. I think that technique is a crutch for lousy cinematography.

The chase scene in the beginning: You can't see that glorious car!!!!

Sex: barely

Humor: not quite enough.

I suppose Bond is supposed to be dark and brooding in this one, post Casino Royale, but he's just kind of flat. All his emotion is projected onto him by the other characters.

Disappointing. The last one was *awesome*, but the writer and directors didn't give the cast much to work with on this one.

Interesting to see that he went back to his PPK, tho.

Wolfwood said...

turk turon comes to the crux of the matter: "Episcopal Church" wouldn't be the most likely example of a congregation where one wouldn't expect to find strippers. If the Episcopal leadership could figure out how to manage stripping in coordination with liturgical vestments of the appropriate color for the season, I'm sure they'd find a way.

I have no explanation;
It's ironic, I suppose
That the word for verification
Should be "prose"

wolfwalker said...

"I just don't feel like Pussy Galore was a fully fleshed-out, three-dimensional character..."

made me snork, because she's probably the closest Ian Fleming ever got to writing a complex character for a Bond girl!

Less said...

Ok, so I was the one who said:

"action +10, plot -10. Terrible..."

I've got to agree that that Bond movies don't have much "plot" to speak of, but at least in the past the villians were actually, you know, Nefarious. I mean, if I wanted to experience eco-terrorists playing a utilities company I would've just stayed in Chicago.

Anonymous said...

Tam said:
"I just don't feel like Pussy Galore was a fully fleshed-out, three-dimensional character..."

For some of us this was a real disappointment.

It's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand. ;

Tam said...

Less,

"I mean, if I wanted to experience eco-terrorists playing a utilities company I would've just stayed in Chicago."

Okay, that made me LOL. :D

trainer said...

I loved it.

Notice, no Q type gimmicks.

Less said...

Glad to be of service - though I think I get more laughs from your snarks than I could ever hope to repay!

Chris said...

I guess, in my mind, the producers got things upside down. It's like the movie was made by people who actually don't like Bond movies, but they studied all of the cliff notes and made sure to check all of the boxes.

Where were the fricking gadgets? I don't recall a single one. They got in the silly Rube Goldberg death defying Bond-snack trap. Goldfinger painting the girl gold has got some snark; what they did?

One chase scene - check.
A sex scene - check.
Sex with the Bond-girl - whoops!
Q - Whoops!
nifty gadgets - Whoops!
Seven impossible stunts before breakfast - maybe 3?
Lust inspiring transportation - maybe 2 minutes? (private jets don't count, those are only lusted by envirowhackos).

As much as I loathe Daniel Craig's anti-gun bigotry, he did the best he could.

From this point out, greenspeace shall be forbidden from sponsoring Bond movies. Writers, directors, and producers of Bond movies must demonstrate them capabilities with an Alaskan hunting trip, an armory fitting for a Bond movie, and an exotic car collection that couldn't carry the meat home from the hunting trip.

None of the above should be taken to imply that I am suggesting or believe in such a mythical animal as a "bad" Bond movie...

ravenshrike said...

This isn't really a sequel. It's more of an expansion.

Brad K. said...

I liked Daniel Craig as Bond. It was the director and editor that didn't seem to care about continuity, about connecting sequences, about motivations, about .. anyway, I came home and watched The Bourne Identity and saw most of the 'special effects' done better, and Transporter and saw better leads and better characters. I am going to watch True Lies tonight and watch Tom Arnold fill in some sidekick highlights. Maybe even Under Siege for some gun fights.

And please. Damming up the water is *not* "eco terorism". Eco terrorism is threatening to burn the Amazon Rain Forest - oh, wait, Brazil aready did that! What about melting the Alaskan glaciers? Well, that started under the (Democratic) Kennedy administration. Maybe denude Asian forests? No, those forests were stripped for charcoal for home cooking and heating, and lumber for China and Malaysia. May be eco terrorism might be to threaten to make it rain on the Sahara Desert, or stop global warming if only Gore would shut up and sit down.

With Bond flicks I understand you are supposed to suspend belief - but it isn't supposed to *feel* like you are suspending your belief you are watching *this* story.

Rick said...

Disappointing. The last one was *awesome*, but the writer and directors didn't give the cast much to work with on this one.

In one of those "It takes all kinds" moments, I have exactly the opposite opinion. Casino Royale was little more than an extended WSOP special.

As a Pseudo-Bechtel employee, I was fascinated by the water rights issue. That was a direct hit on Riley's Battleship:

http://www.democracyctr.org/bolivia/investigations/water/

Mike W. said...

As usual you nailed it Tam. Anyone who watches Bond for the plot isn't getting the point.

Bond is all about action, gunplay and eye candy and at that it succeeds

Matt G said...

"Next thing you know, folks will gripe about lack of character development. 'I just don't feel like Pussy Galore was a fully fleshed-out, three-dimensional character...'"

[They] must be dreaming.

Matt G said...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

WAIT.

Honor Blackman, the chick who played Pussy Galore, is 81 now?!?

Eighty-one?

When did the world start to get old?