Monday, January 11, 2010

Pugsley Canute.

Hugo "Pugsley" Chavez, having devalued the candy bar wrappers Venezuela's been using by way of currency, is now warning retailers against raising prices, saying there's "no reason" for anybody to do so:
In the wake of his decision to devalue Venezuela's currency, President Hugo Chavez on Sunday said he would put the military on the streets to ensure that business owners don't raise prices.
Look, Pugsley, unlike your candy bar wrappers, the value of a concrete object, such as a loaf of bread, hasn't changed. That means that if the candy bar wrappers are only worth half as much, it's going to take twice as many of them to buy the loaf of bread. I don't know how you're going to use the military to stop that. Declare war on mathematics, perhaps? Carry out airstrikes on long division?

Let's hope Barry's not taking notes. You know how he likes to sit around the Oval Office, idly scribbling "Mrs. Barack Hussein Chavez" on the back of notebooks in big, loopy cursive.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Declare war on mathematics, perhaps? Carry out airstrikes on long division?"

Sure! Wars on concepts are very effective, just like Wars on Human Behavior. Right after we wrap the War on Terrorism, we can initiate the War on the Pincer Movement; followed by the War on Spoiling Counterattacks.

Tam said...

"Right after we wrap the War on Terrorism..."

You must be new here. At VFTP, we refer to that as "The War on a Noun", to distinguish it from "The War on (Some) Drugs".

reflectoscope said...

You know how he likes to sit around the Oval Office, idly scribbling "Mrs. Barack Hussein Chavez" on the back of notebooks in big, loopy cursive.

Gee whiz, between this and Peter's Christmas tree, it has been an uplifting morning!

Jim

wrm said...

Ol' robber Bob to the north of us did the same thing, which basically just meant the black market went wild.

For the past six months or so, the Zim dollar's been discontinued. They use rand and dollars (like they used to do under the table, before).

What is it with lawmakers that they don't understand the laws of physics and the laws of mathematics are not their kind of laws?

Joanna said...

You think it's crazy now, just wait until the Fraction Resistance really picks up steam. "Lowest Common Denominatorrrrrrrrrr!"

WV: matherag -- what they stuff in bottles to make mathetov cocktails.

BobG said...

Never seen a socialist yet who could understand even basic economics.

Bob said...

And in Bolivia, Pugsley's buddy Evo Morales is making the Real Thing® and apparently wants to change the laws so that everything manufactured in Bolivia contain at least 10% coca product.

wv: detat: the painful process by which permanent reminders of temporary feelings are removed from the human body.

Weer'd Beard said...

I'm still waiting to see Pugsley (BTW did you name him after the cunning critter in the Adam's Family?) convert a bunch of cattle cars to "Mass Transit Rail Carriers", if I may make such a Godwin prediction.

Kim Jong and Mahmoud have the desire, but Pugsley seems crazy enough to do it.

And now's the time, because you KNOW Barry won't mind it happening on his watch.

theirritablearchitect said...

Oh, not to worry, notes have not only been taken, they are actively being implemented, as we speak!

Jenny said...

BobG - I've never seen a night when the sun came out either. ;)

Matt G said...

"You know how he likes to sit around the Oval Office, idly scribbling "Mrs. Barack Hussein Chavez" on the back of notebooks in big, loopy cursive."

Okay, I think it was the feminine honorarium that made me belly laugh, there.

nbc said...

Er, weapons of math destraction?