Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Your USRDA of Humorlessness.

Apparently, there is an enzyme in animal proteins that is required to maintain a healthy sense of humor, because so many people seem to lose theirs after going vegan.

Witness: Rustmeister posted up the spoof about the animal rights protesters throwing fake blood on the leathers of Hell's Angels instead of the furs of middle-aged women. It's apparently making the email rounds again and anybody who reads it knows it's parody; there's not a PETAphile on this planet with enough courage of their convictions to go protest the wearing of steak wrappers at Sturgis.

Who was his first commenter? Some neurasthenic blogger from Illinois, informing him in a huff that it was a hoax. ("Hoax" apparently being as close as her mouthparts could come to pronouncing "joke".)

Ah, is there any wine so sweet and intoxicating as the tears of a hippie?

18 comments:

BobG said...

I you ate nothing but tofu and weeds, you'd lose your sense of humor too. Not to mention the fact that I think vegan diets lack in any kind of brain food.

Tam said...

I had a nice bison steak for lunch yesterday. It was delicious.

The trick on the stovetop is a covered pan and less heat for more time, since bison isn't as richly marbled as cow. I sprinkle a little onion and garlic in the butter as it melts in the pan, and splash a little Worcestershire and red wine over it during the cooking process.

Yum.

That bison's death was not in vain.

gunfreezone said...

Now I am hungry. And I never had Bison.... I need to take a long trip westbound and try some new foods... hold the veggies.

Turk Turon said...

"...steak wrappers at Sturgis."

Ah, that rolls so trippingly off the tongue!

Ken said...

Seen on the IntarWebz, lo these many years ago:

Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eats. Fruits are vegetables that try to fool you by tasting good. Mushrooms are what grow on vegetables after food is through with them.

Fish are fast vegetables.

wrm said...

Oooh! Prize quote from said site.

>It's sad and ironic that two men
>who work to end violence against
>living beings have found >themselves the victims of
>violence.

Moooooooooo-hahaha!

Anonymous said...

If I may, I wish to use your last sentence as sig material. That line and "steak wrappers at Sturgis" are among the sparkling diamonds of snark which make your writing so enjoyable.

SADShooter

Tam said...

Sure. :)

Dr. Feelgood said...

Last night my precious daughter was doing her pre-kindergarten reading. She was struggling to read the word "rib" so my wife asked, "What does Daddy like to eat?" Without missing a beat daughter beamed, "BACON!" They're both right.

And because we're proper omnivores, we all had a great laugh.

Joanna said...

One of my lunch group at work is a vegetarian, and she's easily the most sickly and pale of the bunch. Downright anemic. Maybe you have to maintain certain levels of iron and thiamin to have a sense of humor.

This could also explain PMS, but that's another thread ...

Pathfinder said...

Bison is wonderful, raised 3 myself, butchered them, and still have buffalo meat in the freezer 5 years later, it has kept that good.

PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals

unix-jedi said...

Ah, is there any wine so sweet and intoxicating as the tears of a hippie?

It's a slippery slope, Tam, be careful.

The first hit, no big deal. But soon you want more and more and more. You can't get enough, no matter how many hippies you cause to bawl. Your whole life turns into making hippies cry. You lose touch with your friends, family...

And when you finally admit you have a problem, any amount of exposure to the media threatens to relapse you.

Matt G said...

"I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.'"

Heh. That's funny, right there.

Carl H said...

Reminds me of this news item from a few years ago:

http://timblair.net/ee/index.php/weblog/comments/disrupters_disrupted/

John B said...

unix-jedi beat me to the punch. I had a hippie as my second girlfriend. All I could ever do was make her cry. Fortunately she was one of them there carnivorous hippies.

Last time I encountered her, she was wearing the skirt suit of the corporate sales minion. A pharma rep.

I cried!

reflectoscope said...

Money shot:

we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop

The basic flaw in the thinking of a lot of people who are out to destroy basic human liberty.

Great read too, particularly with ms. Hippy there to make fun of.

Jim

paulcr39 said...

"Who was his first commenter? Some neurasthenic blogger from Illinois."

From my hometown! OMG, I didn't know we had them here in Plainfield. Oh well, I made up for her veganism with my salad tonight which was topped with bacon, chicken and three types of cheeses. Let's see that's 5 anti-vegan foods right there.

Anonymous said...

I agree with tracy in comments on the other page. People need to pick on animals that fight back.......

Because I want to eat alligator, shark, lion, tiger, and bear meat, dammit!

-Mongol

p.s. Having some Orca fillets would be kind of nice too.