Tuesday, May 17, 2011

QotD: I've Wondered That Too Edition.

A Reddit commenter regarding all those YouTube videos of guys dressed up like action figures and committing Mall Ninjary:
Who are these people? YouTube has a bunch of guys who dress up like this and do stupid shit, but I've yet to meet anyone IRL into this whole...uh...aesthetic(?)

There's clearly some faction of gun enthusiasts who don't know where the "dork" line is.
I'll admit to owning a balaclava. It's rolled up inside my motorcycle helmet. I've never had the urge to film myself wearing it while covered in camo and doing something dumb with a gun.

40 comments:

karrde said...

As a fellow owner of guns, a motorcycle, and a helmet, I concur.

BobG said...

From the looks of the videos, gecko45 has a cult following.

Matt G said...

As a cop with a fast-response bag, a suppressed full auto patrol carbine, an armored tac vest and the occasional possibility of having to deploy all that junk, I will say that I have NEVER felt the desire to put on a balaclava, a ski mask, a Lone Ranger mask, a Mardi Gras masque, or anything else that makes it hard to tell me from the Bad Guys.

Jay G said...

I have a balaclava. I use it when shoveling my driveway in -10ºF winter weather. Judging from the size of some of these "warriors", that much exertion would kill them faster than a whole battalion of ninjas...

Lanius said...

IMO.. anyone who owns camo, has guns, and is not a hunter or soldier ought to get that Mall Ninja heraldic tattoo*

*(tactical ar-15 type rifle crossed with tactical ak-47 variant above a full set of body armor that's set on a heap of ceramic body armor plates. Donuts, duct tape and Bud lite in foreground)

North said...

I LOVE baklava!

What?




WV: culter - One step worse than mall ninja.

Bram said...

When I see those videos, I am always relieved when they are speaking a foreign language. I like to imagine that kind of stupidity is far far away. .

og said...

teh stoopid is everywhere. I knew an explosives guy who crimped blasting caps between his molars. "I'll die if it's in my hand or in my mouth, what's the difference?" In every profession, in every hobby, you will find a certain percentage of knuckleheads. It's possible to postulate that for every occupation/hobby there are knuckleheads, and that every person is a knucklehead in at least one hobby or occupation. I don't know if that's true or can be proven, but most of the people I know are inept or downright goofy at something.

WV: Fluets. The Mall Ninja 5000 assault AR has a flueted barrel, which is buch cooler than a merely fluted barrel.

Anonymous said...

Could they all be spoofs, like the one of a guy with some super tactical three-blade knife? It's hilarious.

Henry Blowfly said...

Amen, Og.

Teh stupid is part of the equation. The younger the shot firer, the more likely he is to blow his face off by chewing on a detonator.

To paraphrase; "there are old shot firers, and bold shot firers . . . . . . ."

Boris da Bastid said...

My wife accused of mall ninjary behaveour when I replaced the rack I had stolen from the mail in iraq last tour. You know, just in case I managed to weasel out of this recruiting gig. I almost see her point now.

Guffaw in AZ said...

I've one friend who intentionally speaks with ambiguation, e.g. 'balaclava' for 'very clever'.
(?)
He did so in the presence of a third friend once. The third friend, a history buff, responded, "What does a minor battle in the Crimean War have to do with anything?"
Yeah, we're geeks.
@North - hilarious!

Bubblehead Les. said...

After the SCOTUS Ruling and the Indy Supreme Court Ruling, these Balaclava People better be able to put up or shut up, because I'm sure some Anti Mayor like Bloomberg will send in the Pros to take out these Posers, all in the Name of "Public Safety". And since they don't have to worry about that Pesky 4th Amendment anymore....

hektor said...

If I was filming myself do dumb shit I would probably wear a mask to hide my face as well. Even the smart people I know tend to do dumb shit sometimes, so it's not like mall ninja's have the market cornered.

staghounds said...

Admitting it is the first step toward recovery...

Woodrow said...

Way way back when I was younger, I was a serial dumb-ass. Even then it never occurred to me to do dumbass things with firearms. Nowadays when I relapse into temporary dumbassedness, it usually involves indoor plumbing.

atlharp said...

Insert Tactical Wheelbarrow joke here.

Montie said...

I'm with Matt G. When I look in my trunk and see all the same assorted gear (OK, minus the supressor) that I occasionally have to saddle up with, I have no desire to put on anything to cover my face (well, except the gas-mask under certain circumstances).

Kristopher said...

Maybe this stupid can be channeled?

Some kind of re-enacting group? Th Ninja Action Shooter's Society? Like SASS, only more silly.

They can shout some Gecko45ism before each stage. And get extra points for every pound of crap on their rifle and pistols.

Joanna said...
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Joanna said...
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Joe in PNG said...

And, the total cost of the crap hanging on your gun has to cost more than the gun itself.

Bonus points for debarked chichuachuas.

Joanna said...

teh stoopid is everywhere.

Mall Ninja is to Emo Vampire Kid as Fantasy Football is to LARPing.

John B said...

As a guy who's made eatin' money as a security guard, and loss prevention specialist.

I have been accused of being a mall ninja.
I am that guy Jay G talks about. he very sight of a snow shovel gives me chest pains. Has done for over 35 years. I figure I'll die shoveling snow, because I won't be able to tell the real one from the psychosomatic reaction.

It could be worse isn't there a pic dubbed 'big sexy' by gun control enthusiasts? Showing some fat, black haired, all over, dude. Wearing nothing but his tightys and an AK-47? I'd almost HAVE to wear a balaclava for that shot!

Will said...

My view is weapon in hand + mask = bad guy. And, that the appropriate response is to light them up. Yeah, there are situational exceptions to that rule, but those are self-explanatory.

docjim505 said...

Kristopher's idea of a mall ninja action shooting sport is inspired. It should be good for dozens - nay, HUNDREDS - of amusing YouTube videos.

----

(Full confession - I have a barely supressed yen to be a mall ninja, which usually gets stronger when I'm gazing at the latest CTD catalog. Then I think, "I have a car payment" and "Do I REALLY want to look even more stupid than normal????"

Lanius said...

You know.. but he may have been onto something with debarked chihuahas.

Dogs are too noisy. Cats are silent but they can't be trained to guard anything..

Now have a dozen debarked chihuahas running around your yard, with infra red self-focusing webcams wifi enabled webcams strapped onto their heads.. that'd show you what the dog's looking at. Then put some EEGs on the doggies to know when they're excited. Log the video that's shown when they are excited and maybe run it through some neural network tuned to recognize infrared images of people creeping around..

In the dark.. they would be hard to see, and just skulking around. You could look through the cams at whatever they're worried after. And if someone tries to poison or put them to sleep them.. there'd be the EEG that'd raise alarm if they die or get abnormal brain waves..

Lanius said...

Why bother with mall ninjaism?

What I want is to be able to hit a melon from 800m away with a rifle.. and maybe perform okay in some practical semi-auto rifle and pistol competition. So far, I've been practicing just scoped rifle shooting and some rudimentary pistol self defense.

Dressing up in camo and being silly, what's the draw?

Matt G said...

As a hunter, I like camo because the critters can't see me. I will also note that some very tough and utilitarian and comfortable clothing comes in camouflage.

But I HATE camo as a fashion statement. I refuse to wear it in town, unless I am actually en route to the hunting fields. Some of this was how I was reared. As a boy, I recall my father actually apologizing to the waitress at a greasy spoon for coming in from the dove fields for lunch still dressed in his camouflage. That stuff sticks in the mind of a kid.

There's no shame in publicly wearing a full set of BDU's or ACU's or MCCUU's from head to toe if you're an active duty soldier; it's a uniform. But for those of us for whom it's not a uniform, it's unseemly.

Anonymous said...

I hate camo nowadays, except for my old Swiss surplus (they decided that the right color for camo was dark red with white spots).

wv: dings: I keep my dings in my car.

Steve Skubinna said...

A balaklava inside the bike helmet?

Poser!

If you were hard core you'd wear a shemagh. If anyone comments on it, you reply, "Yeah, brought this back from The Sandbox. But I really don't like to talk about it."

Anonymous said...

What?!?

No balaclava-clad Tam? Not even for a video like this?

BoxStockRacer

Kristopher said...

Docjim505: If you have an urge to be "tactical", you might as well have fun with it.

The less seriously you take yourself, the cooler you become.

Strive to be that fat airsoft kid from the internets. Help us, Jim!

deadcenter said...

my balaclava is mountaineer brown, not tacticool black, so i don't think it counts. came in handy when i was living in idaho and working in upstate NY, and alaska. here in arizona, not so much.

docjim505 said...

Kristopher, it's less a question of how seriously I take myself than how seriously my wife takes it. "You're NOT leaving the house dressed like that" is not a good phrase to hear.

O' course, if I DID go mall ninja, Swiss alpenflage would be the way to go. Either Switzerland looks a LOT different than I think it does, or else the Swiss really aren't that interested in hiding from their enemies.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I'll be getting ready to do something and I just stop and realize "This is really, really fucking dumb."

I gues not everyone has that luxury.

rickn8or said...

Anonymous 1:04--- You're lucky; for most of us it is "This WAS really, really fucking dumb."

Steve Skubinna said...

ricken8or - yeah, and it comes shortly after "Here, hold my beer!"

Drang said...

I'll wear camo if I damned well feel like it.

WV: disch. Tom? Is that you?

Cowboy Blob said...

I have four balaclavas, but only tried on one, for size. Also got five tactical vests-- I'm not about to get silly in front of a camera. I'll be the one behind it.