Friday, March 23, 2012

Dog bites man.

So about that shooting that happened down on the canal in Hoosieropolis last weekend... You remember, the one where a group of teens were hanging out downtown, just minding their own business* and no doubt on the way to or from choir practice, when all of a sudden and for no reason at all, another teen hops out of a car and guns five of 'em down with a .40, and startles the rest so badly that they nearly dropped their hymnals?

Well, an arrest has been made and... wait, you're probably going to want to sit down for this surprising plot twist... the youth in custody was "involved in gang activity" and the shooting was gang- and revenge-related.

Well, this is my shocked face.

ProTip: You could cut the chances of you getting a cap busted in your ass dramatically by the simple expedient of Not Being Involved In Gang-Related Activity In The Inner City Between The Hours Of 10PM And 4AM. Or hanging around people who are, because those folks are frickin' bullet-magnets. Seriously, standing next to Ice Dog or Ray-Ray after dark on a weekend is like running under the only tree on the back nine during a lightning storm and holding your seven iron over your head for good measure.

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*As any cop or EMT can tell you, "standing around, just minding your own business" after dark is statistically the single most dangerous thing you can do and almost a guarantee that you will require their services before the night's out.

21 comments:

Chris said...

"They're gonna flood the canal area this weekend with pastors."
There's a good joke there somewhere.....

CIII

Ken said...

Everyone knows one is supposed to hold up a one-iron when caught in a thunderstorm on the golf course, because (as it is said)...

...not even G_d can hit a one-iron.

Joseph said...

Wasn't Ice Dog one of the instructors from the video earlier in the week?

Anonymous said...

"As any cop or EMT can tell you, "standing around, just minding your own business" after dark is statistically the single most dangerous thing you can do and almost a guarantee that you will require their services before the night's out."

"Just starting to turn your life around" also seems to be high-risk behavior.

perlhaqr said...

Oh yeah, Ice Dawg and Ray Ray. I know those two guys. Good singing voices.

Anonymous said...

Rev. Sharpton was not available for comment upon the injustice of it all.

Anonymous said...

From a purely analytic point of view...the kid's hit rate was pretty exceptional. No matter what capacity you assume, the percentage of hits to shots fired seems well above average. I imagine things get easier when no one realizes that they're being shot at, but after the first couple shots, you've got to assume SOME self-preservation kicked in and targets started moving.

Robert said...

I know I shouldn't laugh at this (Yeah right)

"but after the first couple shots, you've got to assume SOME self-preservation kicked in and targets started moving."

First thing I visualized was two guys trying to run, and they smack head on straight into each other

Sumdood stikes again!

Nathan said...
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Anonymous said...

It is pretty good shooting for A. Night time B. A Pistol C. Presumably excited state and demeanour D.moving targets.

He'll be in demand when he gets out.

Nathan said...

"And here's Chuck Niedermyer with the evening violence forecast. Chuck?"

"Well, folks, tonight we're predicting a hail of .40 S&W JHP in the near proximity of the Canal Walk between 10PM and 4AM. If you're planning to be in the area, don't forget those Kevlar jackets and umbrellas."

"Yep, Chuck, those are always important when you're out for a nighttime stroll. Thanks."

Anonymous said...

@ Robert ...

Tam specifically mentioned "another teen" as the offender. If "SumDood" had been involved, there's no telling the level of carnage and mayhem ;^P

Montie said...

Anonymous @ 9:35,

Well, there's no way of knowing if any of the people actually struck by rounds were intended targets. In a lot of the gang shootings that I have worked where the intended target is in a group, more often than not, only associates are hit not the particular object of revenge being shot at. When collateral casualties don't matter, hits to rounds fired can go way up.

mikee said...

Sumdood is rarely involved in gang disputes like Ice Dog and Ray Ray.

Sumdood usually just appears out of nowhere, performs an apparently inexplicable act of violence upon someone innocently engaged in some charitable act in the neighborhood, and then disappears into the night.

Sumdood is one bad motherf**ker. He would be a great anime anti-hero, like Lone Wolf.

staghounds said...

On the other hand, "standing around, just minding your own business" is a great way to get total strangers to just give you electronic goods, drugs, and even cars!

Robert Fowler said...

Robert said...
First thing I visualized was two guys trying to run, and they smack head on straight into each other


The first thought I had was of the Three Stooges.

rickn8or said...

So how long ya think before The Usual Hoplophobes start demanding you turn in your weapons to keep this from happening again?

Gregg said...

rickn8or,
They're too busy railing about the poor little angel who got gunned down in Florida. The one where the family screamed about their poor little angel having been gunned down by the evil white dood, who under other circumstances would be a brave oppressed brown brother as he is a Latino.

staghounds said...
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staghounds said...

Don't worry about Mr. Z's race- it's "not black" therefore white equivalent.

Wish there were this kind of interest in any of the THOUSANDS of murders of young Black men by young Black men every year.

P. S. The shooting looks bad to me from what I have read. If you are in a big steel box that you can make move at will, why would you get out and expose yourself to lethal danger?

Larry said...

Yeah, it definitely wasn't Sumdood. They would never have caught that guy.