Friday, June 15, 2012

Fire Mission: Beliebers In The Open.

The TeeWee screen in the next room is packed with the screaming throngs that have been jamming New York streets for days in hopes of catching a glimpse of the callow, beardless phenom known as Justin Bieber.

I find myself thinking "Thank Shiva that we are not a signatory to the Convention on Cluster Munitions. Will no pilot rid me of this turbulent fad?"

21 comments:

Joe in PNG said...

Young girls gettin all stupid crazy over some baby faced boy crooner isn't really anything all that new- "Frankie" Sinatra was doing the same thing to their great-grandmothers.

Tam said...

Joe in PNG,

Oh, I know, it's just that mob behavior brings out the surly in me. (And I say this as one who has performed the Tomahawk Chop in the old Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, which makes me a total hypocrite, I know, but at least I didn't camp out three days in advance to do it...)

Bram said...

I was trying to explain Andy Gibb, Shaun Cassidy, and Leif Garret to my kids last night. They couldn't believe me.

Joe in PNG said...

And don't get me started on that Liszt punk...

I think guys do something sort of similar during their teens, but instead of becoming all screamy about some cute boy, one becomes maybe a little TOO devoted to a band- Rush being the default choice of the past few decades.

Kristopher said...

The Japanese just institutionalize young teener fadism ... they call the music genre "Idoru" ... Idol.

I think the fans watch old US TV for cues on how to properly misbehave.

TxRed said...

Be advised that HIGHER (RAINBOWUNICORN) has not approved, I say again, NOT approved the use of lethal force at this time. PSYOPS recommends use of airbust Nair/hydrogen peroxide deployed simultaneously with Rammstein at audio level 11. Crowd should disperse after suitable concentrations of teen angst and self doubt have been reached.

Be advised that Wayne Newton and Tony Orlando will orbit with an elite 75 man accordion orchestra on standby for immediate parachute insertion. However, the use of weapons of mass destruction MUST be EXPLICITLY AND PERSONALLY approved by RAINBOWUNICORN.

Good luck and good hunting.

TRANSMISSION ENDS

perlhaqr said...

I say wait until they move the infestation elsewhere. New York deserves this.

Ancient Woodsman said...

Bram - and before them, BOBBY SHERMAN!! DAVID CASSIDY!! DAVEY JONES!! (No, not me...but the sisters! Gee whiz...)

Which made the earlier ELVIS!! JERRY LEE!! and so forth crowd wonder, as did the FRANKIE!! (Sinatra AND Laine) crowd wonder just what got in to "kids these days" about the Elvis/Jerry Lee/etc...

Ken said...

...one who has performed the Tomahawk Chop in the old Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium....

Watching the Tomahawk Chop in the '95 Series made me realized what the Dawg Pound* must look like to the rest of the country. One therefore did a public service. ;-)

*Home of the Cleveland Browns' more other-directed supporters. See also Raiders, Oakland.

Wayne said...

RE: cluster munitions. Where do you put the bayonet? (Channeling my inner Chesty Puller)

hooper said...

The upside is that they self-identify. It's like all the goofy cause-head protesters; once they reveal themselves, I know I can ignore them.

Alternatively: this is an example of why I haven't had television in nearly 15 years.

Anonymous said...

If Bieberites get cluster bombs, what did Boy George fans deserve?
MOABed?

Gerry

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Bram - and before them, BOBBY SHERMAN!! DAVID CASSIDY!! DAVEY JONES!! (No, not me...but the sisters! Gee whiz...)

And my wife...STILL.

Arghhh.

DirtCrashr said...

Boy George: Comical Melon. But worst of all, he's Canadian.
Nobody gets all hairball-frenzy like that with The Dead because they're too stoned to move.

Anonymous said...

Just do away with the video and audio broadcasts, and the Beaver Believers are welcome to be crazy the next zip code over. If it ain't on TeeWee, I am not bothered by it.

Anonymous said...

The plot which can rid you of the fad can be found on your TV remote control. Just turn it off, Sister. Millions of people are doing it, reducing the ad revenue accordingly. Maybe that's a mob behavior we can appreciate. -- Lyle

kishnevi said...

One of the more absurd memories of my college days is the plight of the New York Jewish frat boys who agonized over the fact that Bruce Springsteen's second Atlanta concert fell on the first night of Rosh Hashanah, which impeded their plans to attend both concerts, after having attended all his shows in the New York/New Jersey area over the summer. (Being both more Orthodox and less Boss-enamored, I only went to the first night.) Not that I should sneer. A couple of years later, some friends and I drove from Tallahassee to Jacksonville with a long detour to Gainesville to pick up a younger brother, because that was the closest venue Springsteen was playing.

BTW, I have read online that el Beiber is, in person, a self absorbed jerk who appreciates nothing that people do for him and has yet to learn to say the phrase "thank you" when lesser mortals do his bidding. So all that mob is emoting over a guy who would return them the same amount of love his poster now does in their bedroom. Possibly more. With the pster they can fantasize.

armedlaughing said...

Madonna is still trying to hold on to this hype stuff (and failing)and by-the-time Biebs gonads drop there will be yet another pre-pubescent heartthrob on deck. And he'll become Don(ny) Osmond.
Like it or not...
It's the way of the World...

Anonymous said...

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/360473/the-most-evil-opponent

Joseph said...

"I say wait until they move the infestation elsewhere. New York deserves this."

...only if the crowds move to Gracie mansion and if every Belieber is holding a Big Gulp.

Grayson said...

Forget the cluster munitions.
People who go all Bieber-Freaky need to be dealt with using kinetic energy weaponry and orbital fire support.
Mob behavior gets me far, far beyond surly.

"We take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to make sure."
Amen, Corporal Hicks. :)