Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Welcome To The Future.

I may have mentioned that every time the last happy little singing frog in that FedEx commercial disappears, I die a little inside.

Thankfully, FedEx craftily found a way to make a buck off my verklemptness: Look what I found at Kinko's The FedEx Store today!



He rode home in the passenger seat of the Zed Drei with a big, happy grin on his face, safe from evil FedUPS drivers...

Incidentally, not having been in a Kinko's FedEx store recently, I was taken aback at how handy it is to print out a .pdf file in your shiny modern world. Just stick your card and your USB thumb drive in the printer, select the .pdf file off the touchscreen, and fire away. I wanted to tell Middle School Tam, who had paid a nickel a page to photocopy the best parts of the Tolkien Bestiary back in the day, so I took a picture with my phone, but couldn't figure out how to send it to Ma Bell back in the '80s...



I'm sure my thumb drive picked up stuxnet, which will now attack the weapons-grade uranium centrifuges in the basement... (ATTENTION NSA: THAT WAS A JOKE.)

25 comments:

Drang said...

How does the Purse I mean Turse Wookie feel about the FedUPS Frog?

Joel said...

NSA (No Such Agency) has forwarded your subversive post to the correct branch of NSH (No Sense of Humor) for appropriate disposition.

I'm thinking probably Predator drones.

Anonymous said...

Can I ship you some of the real ones in my little 3 ft diameter pond. All the way from tadpoles to adults. Ohshit it's raining again! That will bring another several hundred frog eggs! It's a plague I tell you. :_))

Anonymous said...

finally.

I was seriously sick of renting time on a computer at kinkos, just so I could open my damn PDF file that I've formated for printing.

not sick enough to buy my own color laser printer though.

-SM

princewally said...

I upload my pdfs to Fedex Office Online, load up a coupon scraped from the intertubes and, an hour later, I get an email saying there's a box of staple and sorted docs waiting for pickup.

Dwight Brown said...

"(ATTENTION NSA: THAT WAS A JOKE.)"

Oh, sure, you say that, but I can easily visualize weapons-grade uranium centrifuges following Roberta X home from a hamfest.

"They were such a good deal! And they're great for cooking!"

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

There are drones already after her! I saw it in the comic strip!

Not 1911Man nosireebob... said...

semtex president jihad tea party greenpeace

TinCan Assassin said...

I can haz flying car?

Robin said...

Not much of a joke since the follow up to Stuxnet piggy backed on MS Windows Update ...

Zendo Deb said...

You are not allowed to have a sense of humor. It isn't issued to government lackeys so they don't want you to have it either.

Roberta X said...

...You know, there are parts of the beasement Tam has never seen...

Also, cartoon frogs? No. Cartoon Frogs are Wrong. Doubters need look no further than Michigan Frog and the doom he brought on his finder.

Jim said...

Great, so Tam is denying having weapons grade centrifuges hard at work down there in the basement.

This of course, calls for sanctions and harsh words! from the administration.

Along with several millions of taxpayer's money fulled as graft-ridden U.N. dollars in support of Tam's "Neutrons for Food" program.

I'm unsure if the recipient is required to wear silly uniforms, mirrored sunglasses and subscribe to Megalamaniac's Monthly, but it is the norm with such things.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Robin said...

Well, Jim, it is Roberta that isn't denying ...

And if anyone does have 'em, in Indianapolis, its Roberta.

Anonymous said...

>And if anyone does have 'em, in Indianapolis, its Roberta.

Well I could see perhaps a vintage Calutron, maybe picked up at a hamfest or somewhere...

-SM

Brad K. said...

Even if it is just discarded, spent fuel rods from Three Mile Island, a basement is nothing to joke about.

I mean, when was the last time you heard about the basement at the White House? I rest my case.

Basements should be properly reserved for massive coal-fired furnaces, unused treadmills, and rough shelving full of jars of canned veggies and fruits, and cherished paperback books. Maybe a play area for the grandkids.

Keads said...

Ah, the Michigan Frog is pain. True that. As far as wandering into FexUPS land? UPS is a bit more laid back here for delivery. The other, not so much. The FedEx Kinkos thingy here vexes me hard however.

Weer'd Beard said...

back to the 80s? I think that involves a strange hot tub in a decapitated hotel...

Cool on the little froggy! I love it when companies are smart enough to make something REALLY cute...AND make you something to snuggle!

Speaking of Snuggle, back in those 80s Lil'Weer'd was snuggling up to a snuggles fabric softener bear.

Commercials made life!

Mark Alger said...

NOT 1911Man;

Sounds like great fridge-magnet haiku. Throw together random words on The List; arrange to suit; instant blank verse! BYOM (Bring Your Own Meaning.)

M

Anonymous said...

Have you check the frog for a transmitter yet? It's probably tied directly to the orbiting NRO satellite.

Gerry

perlhaqr said...

Does it sing if you squeeze it?

Borepatch said...

That's why I leave all my SCADA systems safely connected to the Internet. Then I don't have to wonder if they might be getting pwn3d ...

Anonymous said...

She's already under attack!! See today's Day by Day strip.....that was quick! JohninMd(help?)

AndyJ said...

I think that I am the only one to notice.....no seat belts on the passenger...good thing the IMPD was either sober that day or too drunk to notice. Instant $75 dollar fine for no passenger belts.

Grayson said...

Centrifuges?
By golly, it's a good thing that the No Such Agency doesn't know about the Class IV superconducting quantum explosive matrix primer for weapons grade Special Nuclear Material that my neighbour up the block has hidden in his attic.

There.
That should get some attention away from Tam. :D