Friday, August 23, 2013

The cheesy side of internet marketing...

Alan posted about the seemingly mass emailing from GunAuction.com offering to buy gun blogs which they could then fill with their own content, leveraging the Google pagerank and following established by the original owner.

I found the same email in my spam trap while I was in Orygun. As a bonus, there was a followup email that began with something along the lines of "Thank you for your response...", which I found doubly hilarious, seeing as I didn't know that the email to which I had supposedly responded even existed yet.

Attention "David Smith" of GunAuction.com: Maybe this whole internet thing is kinda new and unfamiliar ground to you, but this is a "blog". A "blog" is a kind of online diary kept by the kind of person who keeps diaries on the internet where other people can read them.

I realize that, for a brief time in the mid Aughties, some marketing wiz decided that companies needed "blogs" because everyone wanted to read the day-to-day musings of fictional legal "corporate persons" who were created by filing tax paperwork, instead of by a mommy and daddy who loved each other very much.

With few exceptions, that didn't really catch on. I can tell from your personable banter and nuanced grasp of human interaction that your firm is not slated to become one of those exceptions.

In short, what you are offering to do is buy my diary, and then turn it into something that is
The Life And Times Of Tamara Keel From 2005-2013, Plus A Bunch Of Dull Semiliterate Unrelated SEO Spam From 2013-Present.
If this strikes you as a viable marketing technique, I have to wonder how you keep from starving to death from forgetting which end of the spoon goes in your mouth, you lackwit.

Good day, sir.

20 comments:

The Great and Powerful Oz said...

If they offer you enough to retire on, take it. Say, something in the high seven digits...

Robb Allen said...

You got that response to your non-response too, eh?

I *almost* wanted to see how much they'd pay for "my blog". Because for $50k, I'll zip up the contents of the database and ship it over and then simply point blog.robballen.com to... well, the exact same place and continue doing what I do while they act as an over-sold backup or something.

Bubblehead Les. said...

This guy is so stupid, he sent the same thing to me.

Only one Problem: I'm a Commenter. I don't HAVE a Blog.

Which begs the Question: How did he get MY eMail address?

So now I'm wondering if one of the Blogs I've made a Comment or two (or a Gazillion) LIED when they said "Your eMail shall not be Shared."

Or was the Blog Hacked, and all those Addresses were Stolen?

Or is Google just selling off my Stuff w/o my Permission?

What's that old saying? "You're not Paranoid if..."

Tam said...

Looks like they're one of the sponsors of that Gunblogger Rendesvous thing.

Never having been to Reno, I don't know what's up with all that.

Tam said...

Put a "z" in Rendezvous for me, someone, will ya?

Windy Wilson said...

Bubblehead, check your user agreement, I'm sure there are some arcane exceptions for Google.

Robert Fowler said...

Maybe the NSA is selling the addresses. I'm still waiting on my e-mail, and a decent offer. Maybe enough to fully retire and go fishing.

JD(not the one with the picture) said...

Les - I'd be happy to sell him my commenter handle for $100, mostly so I could then call myself "The commenter formerly known as JD(not the one with the picture)".

Reno Sepulveda said...

And this lucrative offer comes along just as a quit blogging?

Same as it ever was

Jay G said...

I didn't even merit an e-mail, apparently...

Kevin said...

I'll BE at the Rendezvous. I may print out your missive, Tam, and hand him a copy for his review and comment.

Tam said...

Kevin,

Feel free to! :)

Brigid said...

I didn't get one, apparently a blog of guns and the latest Cranberry muffin recipe not being of interest to the real high rollers in the marketing world.

I would pay money to watch that being read to them.

Tam said...

Brigid,

"I didn't get one, apparently a blog of guns and the latest Cranberry muffin recipe not being of interest to the real high rollers in the marketing world."

Judging from the scattershot approach, this guy was high alright. Dunno about roller, though. ;)

Steve Skubinna said...

I think you should have finished the ultimate paragraph "you feckless lackwit."

No good reason, I just think feckless is a word we should be using more frequently. I mean, in contexts other than Obama's foreign policy.

Steve Skubinna said...

Although I have to admit, one of my favorite insults come from the inestimable Professor Fate:

"You thimble headed gherkin!"

Tam said...

Steve Skubinna,

I actually considered the latter. I'm big fan, myself. :D

Drang said...

The internet must have eaten my reply, in which I said pretty much what Kevin did. I must be having trouble with the wv today...

I note that this is their first year, and that they are hosting the bowling ball mortar shoot on Sunday.
Also allegedly bringing a film crew, about which I am less than enthused.

Richard Blaine said...

As part of the Google Sellout to the NSA they have stated that GMAIL has no expectation of privacy. So I doubt they'd consider the selling off of email addresses as a violation.


Governments
omnipresent
observation and
gathering
laboratory
extension

(and you thought Google was a made up word)

Tam said...

That's a stretch. I'd look at the GBR tie in first.