Saturday, September 07, 2013

Provincialism, thy name is Manhattanite.

So, the protagonist of Christian Nation, when he gets out of the JeezoNazi reeducation camp by feigning conversion, and gets assigned to a work release program doing community service at the book-burning center (I am not making this up), guess what his supervisor's name is?

Hand to God, it's "Lurlene".

Jesus wept, Fred, have you ever set foot on the far side of the Hudson in your life?

43 comments:

Joel said...

I knew a Charlene once. Charlene Kittle, to be precise, and from a family as hillbilly as ever moved from West Virginia to Detroit during WWII.

Knew her when I was a little boy. She was six or eight years older than me, and I worshiped the air she breathed. Lurlene happens, I guess.

Actually this morning (while cutting firewood, speaking of hillbillies) I got to thinking about JWR's book Patriots, which appears to be pretty much exactly like Christian Nation in every single way except the viewpoint is exactly opposite. Paranoid bad fiction knows no political shame. :)

Joe said...

Tam, I so hope you write a review on Amazon. It will be epic.

Sarah said...

I'm from different parts of Texas (all rural) and currently live in Kentucky.

I've never met a Lurlene in my life. Of any spelling.

However, I did meet a toddler, years ago, with the unfortunate name "Xena Gabrielle." I'm sure the now-adult X.G. is a stripper somewhere between Houston and Tulsa.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

You could have a contest! A "Help Poor Freddy Rich esq. come up with really good character names for his sequel book, Christian Nation 2, Electric Boogaloo" contest.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I bet he loves it when you call him Freddy, too.

Charles Pergiel said...

I'm missing something here. Is there something wrong with Lurlene?

rickn8or said...

"...lays out in chilling detail what such a future might look like: constitutional protections dismantled; all aspects of life dominated by an authoritarian law..."

Nah. Never happen here.

Crotalus said...

Sounds like a book I do not want to waste my time reading

Tam said...

Charles,

"I'm missing something here. Is there something wrong with Lurlene?"

Well, for a book that complains about GOP candidates and their secretly bigoted dog whistles, it's ironically chock full of them itself.

I haven't seen such a hilariously stereotyped name since John Ross had a black female BATFEIEIO agent named "Gonorrhea".

I lived in Georgia and Tennessee for some thirty years without ever meeting or hearing of anybody named "Lurlene".

Other than the redneck caricature character on The Simpsons the only person named "Lurlene" I can think of off the top of my head named "Lurlene" is a Philadelphia-bred writer of YA novels.

Like naming an African-American character "Sh'aNequa" instead of, oh, "Michelle", it's a signal (intended or not) sent by the author.

UK Houston said...

I certainly hope you didn't give this idiot even a tiny bit of your money.

dogboy49 said...

I have heard the name before. Lurleen was the name of George Wallace's first wife. You may remember George from his term as Governer of Georgia back in the '60s, and from his infamous quote "segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever."

Tam said...

dogboy49,

"You may remember George from his term as Governer of Georgia..."

Um, in this universe, Wallace was the governor of Alabama. That's how we catch you intruders from other timelines, you know; slip-ups like that.

dogboy49 said...

Oops, I meant Alabama. My bad

dogboy49 said...

Crikeys, Tam, you pounced on me in two minutes. It takes us old farts a few minutes to get through the authentication for comments. Gimme a break!

Will Brown said...

I meant Alabama

Yeah, sure. Call out the Time Cops, we've got another dimensional jumper on the loose.

Have I missed out on any other relevant movie tropes?

Tam said...

Georgia, Alabama... practically the same place, am I right? Not as distinct and easy to tell apart as, say, Soho and Tribeca.

Anonymous said...

Lurleen B Wallace, wife of George, was governor of the state of Alabama at one time.

UK Houston said...

Well, there is Jolene of the famous song and there may be even be a Sulene floating around, too, but I have never met one.

It's also true that I have never met a Biff, although I have met my share of Trips and Muffys.

Bob said...

If you do an Amazon review you should title it "The Leftist Equivalent of The Turner Diaries" just to piss them off.

Tam said...

Bob,

"If you do an Amazon review you should title it "The Leftist Equivalent of The Turner Diaries" just to piss them off."

Perfect! Dammit, but I'm embarrassed I didn't think of that...

Anonymous said...

"Georgia, Alabama... practically the same place, am I right?"

I suppose the same could be said of Indiana and Illinois, no? Even the names are spelled similarly.

Buzz said...

'ceptin' our leftist shithole and our crime capital are different cities, neither of which drive our state's existence.

Buzz said...

Not surprisingly, however, our crime capital is pretty much a Windy City 'burb.

Firehand said...

In answer to the actual question:
No, he hasn't.
He flies over it and shudders at the thought of being forced by mechanical problems to land in Flyover Country and breathe the same air as the lower orders.

Tam said...

Annoymouse 2:26,

If you can't spot sarcasm, this might not be the blog for you.

Scott J said...

"Georgia, Alabama... practically the same place, am I right? Not as distinct and easy to tell apart as, say, Soho and Tribeca."

I've always said there's probably a significant portion of the non-Southern population who think "O Brother Where Art Thou" was a current events piece. The author of that book is likely among them.

As for the name I can think of no one younger than Mrs. Wallace who has it.

Charles Pergiel said...

Thankee.

Steve Skubinna said...

Actually, when I lived in Hawaii in the early sixties, many people still came and went by ship. The Matson passenger liners would come and go from Aloha Tower. Montery, Mariposa, Matsonia...

And Lurline.

Other than that, I don't think I've encountered a Lurline/Lurleen in my life.

Anonymous said...

Scott J,

Your comment reminds me of Connie Chung-Povich's shock in April '95 at seeing video of the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing. Her shock was not at the destruction, but that the hometown boys had taken care of business. Before that, I'm pretty sure she was ready to lobby for foreign aid.

I think she was expecting Taggart (from "Blazing Saddles, not Dagny) to be leading the horse-drawn fire-brigade and Sheriff Buford T. Justice to be keeping the peace amongst the cast of "Deliverance" set in an Old Western town with a few cigar-store Indians mixed in.

- Drifter

Ragin' Dave said...

I can't remember who said it first, but the quote that sums up just about every coast-living liberal:

They live their lives on a map where everything past the end of the subway line is blank, with the words "Here There Be Dragons" scrawled across the parchment.

global village idiot said...

Perhaps the book is parody. Too-Clever-By-Half parody, but still...

I bring this up for one reason - cui bono? I don't see such a book as the sort of thing the SWPL set would really go for, and I can't see anyone forgetting their copy in the taxi on their way to the Metropolitan either. Maybe the starving artists and whomever-rights activists in Greenwich Village might wallow in it for a while, but that's a mighty small market to write to.

Not that the author might have had no conception at all of his market when he was writing this thing - worse books have happened (the only reason I first thought of Patriots rather than The Turner Diaries is that I haven't read the latter).

This leaves the distinct possibility that the author is the 2013 reincarnation of Jonathan Swift.

gvi

Ed said...

So, a futuristic theocratic Far Right government is to be loathed more than a Reverends Jackson, Sharpton and Wright inspired Far Left government of the present?

Steve Skubinna said...

Well Ed, the fascist theocracy is a known know. Remember the one Palin installed in Alaska? Or the one Bush turned Texas into? Or the happy smiling church run police state Romney made of Massachusetts? For that matter, how could you have missed the religious dictatorship in the US between 2001-09?

See, everywhere right wingers have seized power we've seen this same horrible story play out.

On the other hand, despite hysterical warnings of left wing statist totalitarianism, not once in human history has one ever sprung up.

Matt G said...

According to the Baby Name Voyager, "Lurline" was ranked as the 956th most popular female baby name in the 19-aughts, and shot up to the 850th most popular female name in the 1910's, before dropping below 1000th, and off the map. "Lurlene" isn't listed as ever being in the top 1000 in the past 120 years.

The late Governor Lurlene Wallace's short life began in 1926. She died 45 years ago.

I deal with the public daily, and In my 42 years in Texas, I have met Mildrids, and Ethels and Mabels and Velmas and Berthas and Claras and Idas, but never a Lurline/Lurlene, to my recollection.

Joe in PNG said...

What stunning revelations will be revealed in our next installment?

-WILL President Palin be revealed to be a closet nympho?

-Are the Republican Leadership secret priest of Great Cthulhu?

-Will the USA be saved by Bionic Bill Clinton and the Planeteers?

Tune in tomorrow, same Tam time, same Tam channel!

armedlaughing said...

Hey Matt G.
My great aunt was named Bertha, and lived most of her life in CONNECTICUT!
Just goes to show you about stereotypes.
:-)

gfa

Firehand said...

Drifter, Connie Chung was such a jackass that a bunch of cops and EMTs had shirts made with 'Hey, Connie Chung: Bite Me!' on the back.

Her obvious shock and disbelief when the governor said "Of course we can handle this, we're doing it" was only a part of her idiocy.

Graybeard said...

It sounds like that dreadful dreck "The Handmaid's Tale" from the 80s. Another story of America turning into someone's idea of a Christian fascist state.

Has there ever been one?

Keep the commentary coming. It has been a highlight of the days.

Ken said...

gvi -- It's possible, but remember that more or less the same target audience lapped up The Handmaid's Tale as if it were Tomorrow Morning's Headlines.

Anonymous said...

Firehand,

I can't believe I missed those! I'd have paid good money for one, too.

- Drifter

Stretch said...

"..have you ever set foot on the far side of the Hudson in your life?"

Good Lord Tam!! Don't encourage "that sort" to come east of the Hudson. I like that they self-segregate in easily sealed locations.

mikee said...

I recall that when this blog first started using the anti-spam test word verification, most of the nonsense words seemed like good names for characters from fantasy fiction.

Lurlene as a diminutive of Loreli Charlene, or something, might be possible, but still unlikely.

If I wanted a solidly Christian fundy name, I'd go with biblical precedents, not a redneck version of the urbanite LaTonya.

og said...

I never knew it was an actual name. My next door neighbor growing up was Gloria Linda which was shortened to Lori Lynn and in heated moments became Lurlene. As many times as I have come across it, I always assumed that was how all Lurlenes came to be.