Tuesday, January 12, 2010

This just keeps getting weirder.

Last Friday, there was a story about a guy on the east side of town who called 911 because he "found his wife unresponsive." Emergency services got there, noticed he was covered in what is euphemistically known as "bodily fluids", tyveked him up, and brought him along.

Saturday, it emerges that the house contained roughly a dozen each of firearms and cats, which makes it light on firearms but a bit heavy on felines, at least by my yardstick. Oh, and grenades.

Today we find out that the euphemistic "bodily fluids" in question had, in fact, leaked from his deceased wife's noggin, which is not a usual symptom of Death By Natural Causes. And grenades.



FatWhiteMan said...

90% of all grenades come from American Wal-Marts.

reflectoscope said...

The first link said 31 cats, either way it is long past the two is company-three is a crowd idea.

That said, something foul is afoot.


Anonymous said...

It is a shame that you can make into any gun show in American and walk out with all the cats and 40 mike mike that you can carry.

Most of the 40mm in this country is used to kill women and minorities, the remainder is sent to Mexico and to our schools.

S. Brady

Tam said...

I'm also going to go out on a limb and say that our suspect is not the sharpest tool in the shed: If I've got a dead body and a couple dozen federal felonies lying around the house, the last people I'm gonna call are the cops.

Joseph said...

What's weird about this story? Unless he opens the door wearing his wife's face, I don't consider "whacko who hoards grenades & cats kills wife" to be all that weird anymore.

I guess society has shifted in my eyes and I expect less and less out of people.

Anonymous said...

There are often times when my wife is unresponsive.

Generally, I just try to get her motor running another time, rather than call 911.

Huh? Oh. *That* sort of "unresponsive". Never mind.

Jon B.

Mike W. said...

Obviously he got the grenades because of the "gun show loophole"

Joanna said...

the last people I'm gonna call are the cops.

He had a dead body and a gross of obligate carnivores in the same house. Just shut them all up in a room together and wait a week, then rent a mulcher for the rest. This isn't rocket science.

I just disgusted myself. Oh hey, it's lunchtime.

Rob K said...

Why couldn't he have been in Chicago instead of here? Surely the guy's not a native. We don't do that sort of thing!

Kristopher said...

Delusional Schizophrenic is my guess.

Once his subconscious drove him to it, it kept hammering the buttons in panic to avoid taking blame for an incredibly stupid act. Once he came out of his delusional fugue, he noticed his wife wasn't moving, and called 911.

His wife was probably missing more than a few screws as well ... when you are the neighborhood crazy cat lady, your partner options are kinda limited.

Tam said...

"...when you are the neighborhood crazy cat lady, your partner options are kinda limited."

What are you trying to say?

Kristopher said...

Gee ... I wasn't referring to you at all.

Is there some reason I might have been?

Kristopher said...

( seriously ... if you don't have so many cats that the neighbors aren't reporting the smell to the health department, you are just odd, not crazy )

markm said...

Depends on how far you live from the nearest neighbor.

Anonymous said...

"...her husband Richard called police and said he found her unresponsive."

Elsewhere they said he called the fire department, who in turn called the police when they discovered the place resembled a crime scene. Which was it? If they can't the basics right, we'll have to dismiss the whole story, no? So the "Handgrenades" were firecrackers or stink bombs, and the 30 (or was it some other number?) cats were beenie babies and the guns, well, those were just put in there by the editors for effect, to juice up the story a bit.

Nothing to see here. Move along. -- Lyle

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