View From The Porch: Sometimes the jokes write themselves...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Sometimes the jokes write themselves...

Referring to his new $7,000 sexbot:

"There's a tremendous need for this kind of product," said Hines, a computer scientist and former Bell Labs engineer.

Well, alrighty, then.

53 comments:

Joseph said...: Don't laugh too hard, this guy will do more to stimulate the economy than anyone in Washington.; 10:05 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: So ostensibly it's the male equivalent of a vibrator.

If the price comes down enough and the technology advances a little further it'll be the nail in the coffin of marriage, or at least the show the leash games some women like to play.; 10:11 AM, February 02, 2010
Borepatch said...: Err, the Total Addressable Market consists of Bell Labs Computer Engineers?; 10:14 AM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: "She costs $7,000 and comes with five personalities, from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy"...a Sally Fields doll???; 10:14 AM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: OA,

"So ostensibly it's the male equivalent of a vibrator."

Uh, no.

Those already exist, and they don't make taped "conversation".

Any marriage damaged by the invention of a talking inflatable sheep wasn't much of a marriage to begin with.; 10:15 AM, February 02, 2010
Jim said...: >>Well, alrighty, then.<<

LOL.

It could be the "off" button, Tam. :); 10:20 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: "Uh, no."

Ehh...it's a glorified sex toy people spend (or will spend) lots of money when a hand would suffice.

"Any marriage damaged by the invention of a talking inflatable sheep wasn't much of a marriage to begin with."

So most of them are done for, then?

Seriously, I don't think women understand how many angry teen and twenty-something males there are out there. They've already turned their back on teevee because of how the women treat the men (which too many women then decide to emulate in real life), abuse rates towards women for the group is rising because of the anger, and they see how guys get screwed over in divorces when a woman decides she "wants to have fun" (often their dad). To top it off, many of them don't want kids because they don't even remotely trust women. This is unfortunately bigger than most think it is, especially when the technology advances.; 10:28 AM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: OA,

"This is unfortunately bigger than most think it is, especially when the technology advances."

Only on the internet.

Trust me: In real life, as long as boys have penises and girls have vaginas, the human race is going to do just fine.; 10:36 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: "Only on the internet."

Speaking of the internet...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates; 10:49 AM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: What?

Srsly, WTF?

What does that have to do with anything?; 10:58 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: Well lets see, first there's the irony of you're "Only on the internet" snark and the issue of foresight. Then there's the issue of technological advancement. Then there's the issue of how artificial intelligence plays into that advancement...

But I suppose all of that's pointless, given that we're just talking about what will only ever be an inflatable sheep.; 11:07 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: "you're"

Grumble...; 11:08 AM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: Dude, could you possibly read any more of your own notions into my own words?

You...

No, wait. This gets its own post.; 11:22 AM, February 02, 2010
Stephen said...: After looking at the creator, I am trying very hard not to imaginge "research and development" or "field trials." Whatever happened to a well worn Playboy and a handful of lotion. The good old days.; 11:24 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: Tam said...
Dude, could you possibly read any more of your own notions into my own words?

You...

No, wait. This gets its own post.

11:22 AM, February 02, 2010

You've never heard someone say something that gave you an idea or reminded you of something? And given that the subject has to do with technology and advancement thereof...

Extra caffeine this morning?; 11:36 AM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: "After looking at the creator, I am trying very hard not to imaginge "research and development" or "field trials."

Or how many panties he stole as a youth...; 11:42 AM, February 02, 2010
Neutrino Cannon said...: That face will haunt my nightmares for months. Looks like the lovechild of Mick Jagger and... um...

Kieth Richards, actually.; 12:16 PM, February 02, 2010
Dixie said...: NC, I was going to say Nancy Pelosi...

(shudder)

Seriously, 7 grand? Did he cut cost by not budgeting for A FACE?; 12:58 PM, February 02, 2010
John said...: Mebbe it's the incipient case of upper respiratory infection and sinus clog that has landed in my body, in the past two days...

BUT...

THAT zombie cadaverous look and the pathetic human failure it represents, have caused me to have a rising case of green nausea.

Yeah, all us old sci-fi'rs are well aware that synthetic human-like sex toys are in the literature. That DON'T make it's actuality a break thru for humankind.

Will the last real human's please leave the solar charger's plugged in?

Thank you, and "Good night, Gracie."

'loggi', indeed.; 1:15 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: 7 grand would buy me John Wayne's coach gun and lots of ammo.; 1:16 PM, February 02, 2010
Jenny said...: You know... as much as we like to say "every old sock finds a shoe" - over the years I've met a handful of people who for whatever reason are so profoundly physically and socially disabled they just aren't going to be settling in with a real live human being. Which doesn't make them crave sexual expression any the less.

If Roxxy 5.0 is what it takes to give them a little bit of solace, well... I can't really begrudge it to them.

... though I daresay the young men of a few generations hence may have a devil of a time taking off the training wheels.; 1:56 PM, February 02, 2010
Crotalus said...: Uhhh... Five Finger Mary's a lot cheaper! >;o); 2:11 PM, February 02, 2010
NotClauswitz said...: It'll go over big in Poundsandistan, where the sheep and goats and buurros are already nervous - but OMG WOOF! "She" looks like a surprised orangutan - I really DON'T want to hear the come-hither voice, bark, chicken, whatever...; 2:21 PM, February 02, 2010
OA said...: "...looks like a surprised orangutan..."

I guess the designer could consult with Pony the orangutan prostitute to see what works.; 2:44 PM, February 02, 2010
Timmeehh said...: See, he's got the premise all wrong:

"To some men, she might seem like the perfect woman: She's a willowy 5 feet 7 and 120 pounds. She'll chat with you endlessly about your interests. And she'll have sex whenever you please -- as long as her battery doesn't run out."

Everyone knows that the perfect woman is six feet tall and at least 150 pounds and has red hair. She'll go with you to the shooting range whenever you please, as long as she doesn't run out of ammo.; 3:24 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: So, prostitution isn't an issue, I take it? No one seeks such services in out modern, enlightened society? Playboys and lotion are all that's needed?

Creations such as the "robot" in question are a tool to help deal with physical needs. There's already a market for such extravagance, and several companies have managed to make products without them being completely fugly (search for "Abyss Creations" as one example).

Things like that won't be replacing humans anytime soon, but for libidos males with excess cash and such, it sure as hell beats the risks that go with prostitution!; 3:33 PM, February 02, 2010
Jay G said...: Man, all I can say is that Friday has nothing to worry about...; 3:45 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: At last!! The (nearly) perfect woman!! And no walking into a raging screaming tantrum (What is this?? I didn't have anything to do with this!! I wasn't there!! And I don't even know what is going on!!) just because it makes her feel better.

Now I'm waiting for Roxxxy 3.0.

cap'n chumbucket; 4:58 PM, February 02, 2010
og said...: I know guys with realdolls.

http://www.realdoll.com/cgi-bin/snav.rd?action=viewpage&section=frealdoll

Expensive and odd. The market is there, though, and it is good. Our bell labs guy will make money.

The guys I know who have these, are not particularly well off, but feel the expense is small compared to the benefits, for them. All the Bell Labs guy offers is some conversation in addition to orifices. (orifii?); 5:50 PM, February 02, 2010
TJP said...: You know, this guy is doing civilization a favor. If this thing actually provides everything that the purchaser desires in a woman, a real woman with a complete intellect has been spared the discomfort of being cornered and pawed by a man who regards her as a body-temperature weighted dummy with three different kinds of holes.; 7:09 PM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: "So, prostitution isn't an issue, I take it?"

No, why would it be? I'm all about some free enterprise.

"You know, this guy is doing civilization a favor. If this thing actually provides everything that the purchaser desires in a woman, a real woman with a complete intellect has been spared the discomfort of being cornered and pawed by a man who regards her as a body-temperature weighted dummy with three different kinds of holes."

TJP wins the f'kin intarw3bz!; 7:35 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: "I'm all about some free enterprise."

"TJP wins the f'kin intarw3bz!"

While I certainly agree with the sentiments behind both of those quotes, there is a definite disconnect.

Al Terego; 8:10 PM, February 02, 2010
Tam said...: Not necessarily.; 8:22 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: Well, unless some sadsack takes this sexysallydoll home to mama, or persuades a payforplay provider to share life, love, and raising a family, I think there is. AT; 8:49 PM, February 02, 2010
og said...: Actually, I think the statements- rather than showing a disconnect, show a very specific kind of reason most people are incapable of displaying.; 9:30 PM, February 02, 2010
Shermlock Shomes said...: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!; 9:46 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: "...rather than showing a disconnect, show a very specific kind of reason most people are incapable of displaying."

Well og, since you obviously place yourself squarely within the rarified few who *are* capable, please do go on to "display" it and enlighten us ignernt, unwashed masses. Hmm, where have I seen this brand of smugness before?

But do be sure that you yourself understand the "very specific" reasoning that my comment embodied.; 10:34 PM, February 02, 2010
og said...: Oh, my, Anon, I'm so sorry, you're so clearly so vastly superior to me in every possible way, knowing nothing whatsoever about me as you do.

here's an idea, why don't you go and pound salt with a cast lead mallet?

Give it a rest. I won't have a battle of wits with the unarmed.; 11:30 PM, February 02, 2010
Anonymous said...: Tam it is obvious that you don't gat any regular sex.Are you a lesbian?; 12:30 AM, February 03, 2010
OrangeNeck said...: Dixie, maybe he gave her "Ed Zachary Disease." It's the disease where her face rook ed zachary rike her hoo-ha."; 3:35 AM, February 03, 2010
C10 said...: A few decades will produce a more plausible 'companion' robot, which moves and is not working from prerecorded speech.

Jenny has it right. Some people have a choice between a 'bot and no one. I know a guy who's a really good guy but physically stunted and twisted by severe rheumatoid arthritis from when he was very young. He doesn't exactly have potential mates beating down his door. I don't think he'd accept a 'bot but I would in his place.

OA also has it right. Some women treat sex as a tool to manipulate men, and for some of those men sexbots will be emancipation.

I think they will be a major component in popping the misandry bubble.
http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html; 8:21 AM, February 03, 2010
John said...: Hey, 12:30AM Anon,

Long time ago I relinquished my cyber-potshotting sniper-keyboard. It's a waste of life-minutes to spend them on such obvious Pinatas as yourself.

However...

Nah.; 8:22 AM, February 03, 2010
Anonymous said...: That's what I thought, og...

Toss in your two cents where it doesn't belong, cast out a few veiled insults, and back out fast when challenged. Yes, one of us is witless...and dickless.; 9:04 AM, February 03, 2010
Matt G said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9:50 AM, February 03, 2010
og said...: "Yes, one of us is witless...and dickless"

yessir, that sure are me, I am REEL DUM!!! AND a Coward too! because I leave anonymous comments deriding the host. No, wait, that's you.

Actually, unlike you,you anencephalic swine, I'm being polite. Tam is someone I consider a friend, and someone who has earned my great respect. I would no more argue on her blog than I would knowingly insult or annoy her. Feel free to stop by my blog, if you like, I will be pleased to take a little time out of my evening and gut you like a fish and hang your hide to dry. I love trolls. My blog can be reached, in case you are too mentally challenged to understand, simply by clicking on the "og" above this post. And now I'm done here. My sincerest apologies, ms Tam, for using bandwidh on this.; 10:33 AM, February 03, 2010
Anonymous said...: Yes, og, you have shown yourself to be the very picture of gentlemanly exchange and decorum. But since I've no idea what it is you are on about and suspect that neither do you, I don't blame you for wanting to take your embarassment out of the light of day.

I've never known Tam to shy from discord as long as there is cogency, so with her forbearance, let's do this: go back and find whatever comment(s) of mine (all signed, btw) you took offense to and reprint, respond and refute them directly. Then I (and others) can see what your nebulous objection is and I'll be able to explain and defend my statements.

Simple and polite enough for you? If so, please be my guest. And if not, go pound your sand or gut your fish or whatever other "polite" activities you are attracted to.

Al Terego; 3:14 PM, February 03, 2010
og said...: Ah, so you are a coward. I expected as much. Guess I won't be seeing you at my place anytime soon.; 3:40 PM, February 03, 2010
Anonymous said...: Ah ha ha ha...wattawuss, and right in front of God and Tam and everybody. You may now go back and hunker down in your neanderslime pool and await further evolutionary progression; a few eons should do it.

Sorry, Tamara, I'm done now. Unless...

AT; 5:54 PM, February 03, 2010
og said...: yes, I acted like a gentleman in front of God and Tam and everybody. And you showed yourself to be an ass. Speaking of which, at least some part of you. has balls.; 8:41 AM, February 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: Gentleman, eunuch...same diff, yes?

Tam had no written objection to my request that you voice your concerns, whatever they were, and have them answered like adults here, where someone could, you know, see it. But adult discourse is not your forte, is it?

Yes, you so respect Tamara as to mis-use her site and traffic to troll for trolls, hoping to drag someone, anyone, to your sad little pond with its deprived little toads in waiting. Pathetic.

The challenge stands, sir. Put up or shut the f up.

AT; 9:15 AM, February 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: Why would he make it look like Paris Hilton after an all weeker? Yikes, is the paper bag included in that 7G?; 12:19 PM, February 04, 2010
Tony Muhlenkamp said...: See the movie "Lars and the Real Girl" with Ryan Gosling. My wife couldn't quite get past the "ewww", but it was funny and wonderful.; 6:39 PM, February 10, 2010
Justthisguy said...: Anon @12:30: You act like that IRL and you might actually get some "gat sex" from those with hotter heads than most of us here.

WV: soasm. Solipsistic orgasm? Seems appropriate to the post subject.; 9:31 AM, February 23, 2010