Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
"Hige sceal þe heardra, heorte þe cenre, mod sceal þe mare, þe ure mægen lytlað…"
But it's not an inanimate object, it's a corporation, and according to an erroneous 1880's court decision based off a note a court clerk made on a transcript, a corporation is a *citizen*...
If the inimitable style of our boss's prose didn't glimmer through, it wouldn't be half as entertaining.
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