1) $17 million a year for 20 years or $164.4 Million Cash Value?
$17,000,000/year. I know me; given the lump sum, I'd wind up sitting on an Everest-esque stack of guns and books, rubbing my tummy, and saying "I'm hungry."
Besides, if you can't get into plenty of trouble on a mere seventeen megabucks per year, you have tastes that flat boggle my imagination.
2) First purchase?
The very first thing I'd do is endow a trust fund to teach the kiddies of America about Probability & Statistics, in the hopes that fewer of them would voluntarily
3) Statement to the Today Show?
"I would like to thank y'all for giving me this opportunity to appear nude on national TV while rubbing fat wads of hundred dollar bills all over my nekkid body. Now get lost, peons; you're fired."