Friday, June 29, 2007

Ghrrrggg!

Six days without the intarw3bz.

Jesus.

How did our stone age ancestors live without it?

Just a week ago I had the mental powers of a godling; there was not a piece of human knowledge I did not have at my fingertips. The current price of any product; the lyrics to any song; was it raining in Dubuque? These facts and more were constantly at my fingertips. How did the Braves do last night? What's the dumbest thing Harry Reid has said in the last week? Who answers the phone when you dial 867-5309 in every area code? All this was mine for the gleaning.

Now I'm reduced to a shell, a husk, limited to my own organic memory, and it sucks. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing animal skins and grubbing for nuts and berries here in the woods, trying to snag fish from Fort Loudon lake like some pathetic Gollum-like creature, albeit a Gollum with a nice Shimano reel and Rapala lures.

This is almost unendurable.

On the upside, I've played more Diablo 2 in the last five days than I have in the previous five years, plus I've honed my Windows Solitaire skills to a razor edge...

Anyhow, I'm sitting here with my laptop, skulking on my next-door neighbor's porch, using his 110v outlet to get my iBook in range to boost some WiFi from my landlord's house up the hill. I figure I can do a bit more surfing before Mr. Sun gets above the trees and washes out the LCD screen on my laptop.

So, what's been happening? Are we still in Iraq? Are the Braves still in contention? Have the Iranians nuked DC? (One of you would call me if they nuked DC, right?)

I'll probably be working a table at the gun show here in K-ville for a friend this weekend, so maybe I'll see some of y'all there.

20 comments:

phlegmfatale said...

I'll tell you what's been happening at my house: withdrawal from VFTP. Shakes, occasional sobbing, blowing snot-bubbles and chain-smoking. I'm distracted and not myself. Yesterday, I actually left the house without anything sparkly on. This must stop. I think we should draw up a petition for Charter and if that doesn't work, we need to harrass them. We need you wired.

Forlorn Boater said...

Homer says: Mmmmm, unsecured wireless networks, is there anything they can't do?

I saw one of these at a jobsite this morning:
http://www.radiolabs.com/products/antennas/2.4gig/11eleyagi.php
This could be what you need.

And I wonder - will evolution eventually give us a PCMCIA slot in the back of our head for a Verizon wireless internet card? I am so there.

Squeaky Wheel said...

For the record, in area codes 314, 636, and 901, 867-5309 is inactive or disconnected.

I actually had a salesman call in yesterday and ask if anyone was at x5309 (our prefix is 867 where I work). It totally took me a minute to get the joke, and I think he's even used it on me before, when I temped here last year. How sad.

I can do without internet for a while, but I have catch-up-on-blogs OCD, so if I'm away for more than 2 days, I spend a full day just reading every single entry I missed. :-P

David said...

Oh sure.. It's all about you isn't it? How about us? We've had six days without your scintillating commentary. Do you know what it's like to click on your blog and see the same frelling post for six frelling days??????

arrrggggghhhhhhh.......

Anonymous said...

one things for sure, if gunsmith Bob was going to make his move this was the time to do it. welcome back

Oleg said...

Vernor Vinge's "Marooned in Realtime" comes to mind.

BobG said...

I can sympathize; I spent most of my life having to do research the hard way before the internet was invented. Clicking is a lot faster than digging around in a large library.

Matt G said...

Get the to the Arms Room, Tamara, and use this forced sabbatical
constructively.

Matt G said...

(Damned typo-ridden Blogster Comments won't let a brutha insert a lost "E" into his last comment.)

Ben said...

And once reduced to skin wearing neolithic existence, I picture some screaming and pounding on the ground. " You maniacs! You cut the line! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!" Done in the shadow of the rusty remains of a Bobcat sticking out of the ground.

Have fun at the gunshow. There's a show in Hickory on this side of the mountains this weekend as well.

Anonymous said...

There are other, cheaper, WiFi anntennas that might get you access from a more appropriate location. You will need line of site however. Check out the products here. You will have to look around for the best location to purchase them. I usually start with Fry's. With the right set of antenna's and amplifiers I get WiFi service over 1000 yards away on my handheld mobile device from the WiFi service at Boomershoot.

Joe

Zendo Deb said...

Think of it as a pilgrimage to nature. A vision quest in the outback to meet your spirit guide and attain new levels of enlightenment.

Or you could just splurge on a bunch of DVDs (Shooter is out on DVD and quite fun - the making-of stuff is even interesting) some popcorn and pale ale. Everyone is entitled to a break now and then.

Anonymous said...

Geesh, get thee to the range.

Mike

Lin said...

We're two hours from pavement, no power lines, no phone lines, no gas lines, no water lines, no sewer lines but we do have great internet access. Woo-hoo - priorities!

Anonymous said...

Lin,
I'd like some info about your ISP...?

bllew said...

Visions of Tammy as Raquel Welsh in 1 million BC.

"Rabbit bikini my ass. This floor-length evening gown was made from a saber-toothed tiger I killed with my own hands."

Anonymous said...

Diablo II: The only game I've purchased and then thrown away TWICE -- once because my beloved Paladin just snuffed it in a totally impossible-to-rescure location; the other time because the game was simply too darn addictive.

Diamondback said...

You missed the zombie uprising. Didn't anyone tell you?

comatus said...

Bllew, I think you need written permission to call her "Tammy." You might be in a WOS once the system comes back up. But I'm busy sharing your fantasy, and it's making the downtime go faster:

"...wearing animal skins and grubbing for nuts and berries here in the woods"--I like that in a woman. Know what marks you as over-civilised? Wishing for the video link. Got yer Survivor, right here.

Lin said...

Madame VFTP, please excuse my reply to a comment here:

We hooked up with HugesNet satellite. The initial installation was PRICEY but worth it. And it looks like we will be able to run the system off solar when we get that accomplished. Running on a generator with a good inverter system right now. All we needed was a good view of the southern sky (barely made that requirement but we did).