Tuesday, June 26, 2007

We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

So, yeah... Where were we? Saturday noonish, right? Anyway, 'net service had returned that morning, I was happily blogging and surfing and reading my favorite interw3b message boards when...

*K-spop!*

The guys installing the new lid on the septic tank ran the Bobcat right over the cable. No intarw3bz for Tamara.

Oh, and they buried the cut ends. Charter thinks they can maybe rush a crew over here to run a fresh line under the driveway by, oh, July 10th or so.

Festive.

So, here I am trying to be creative at Borders. I signed up for the Tmobile thing, the rigamarole and procedure for which sapped my will to live, let alone whatever creative impulse I may have had. I'm cleverly disguised among the ponytailed latte-sipping herd of shiftless paleohippies and college students; blending in by virtue of the iced coffee drink at my hand and my bright green iBook (which, after 5 years, has a battery life measured in picoseconds, which is why I'm at Borders: power outlets.) I think my "Nuke Berkeley" shirt might be giving me away though.

My creative mojo is hampered by the awkward little chiclet keyboard of the iBook, the jackhole having a business conversation at a decibal level that rivals a 707 on takeoff, the retiree talking to his grandkids on his Bluetooth headset (which makes him look a mite touched in the head, babbling baby talk to thin air), and the guy at the next table who has his Wintel laptop at full volume, letting me hear all the godawful system noises that I've so carefully disabled on every PC I've owned since, oh, 1996 or so.

Not that I'm bitter or anything, mind you.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, a double tap! Might wanna get that trigger looked at before the ATL (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Laptops) finds out and tosses you in the clink...

lizbeast said...

But you made up for it in volume...(double post). Go shoot at something - not the septic tank guys.

Rabbit said...

Thanks for reminding me why I quit a management job running the cafe at Borders many years ago and went back into IT.

Insolent little bastards.

Hope the Errornet folks get your cable spliced soon.

Regards,
Rabbit.

7.62x54r said...

Look on the bright side, the guy on the bobcat didn't run over you! Maybe you could convince him to make a pass through Borders though.

Ben said...

The whole misadventure does heartily sucketh, Tam. Hope you catch a break soon.

BobG said...

So, here I am trying to be creative at Borders.

"The horror...the horror..."

taylor said...

Its not the ATL, its the BATFEB (Beureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, and Blogs).

They seem to be the catch-all .gov agency for when they want to over-regulate something. Just throw another letter on and kiss your freedoms goodbye.

Matt G said...

This is God's way of telling you:
"Matt was right when he said that you need to do a road trip westward. Pick up the phone, call Byron and John, and pack heavy."

Dr. StrangeGun said...

A network technician found himself stranded on a desert island with his kit. He sat and pondered how he would survive, and finally opened up his toolbox to see what he had handy. After using a punchdown tool to dig a hole in a coconut and SOS'ing with his tone finder for a few hours, he grew despondent. And then, inspiration struck.

The tech grabbed a spare 2 meter fiber optic cable and buried it in the sand, carefully, with both ends exposed.

He stood up and walked off, and soon the sandy island shook. He turned around just in time to see the backhoe neatly sever the cable in two.

phlegmfatale said...

You may need to take the bug-zapper with you to help keep the flies away.

Will said...

"Nuke Berkeley" T-shirt... I wish. Just give me a couple hours head start to get over the hill!

HTRN said...

Tamara, instead of dragging oneself to Borders, have you considered Wardriving?

7.62x54r said...

dr. strangegun, that reminds me of an old construction joke. What should you do if you're ever lost in the woods? Drive a stake in the ground and tie a ribbon to it. Then when the bulldozer runs over it follow him out of the woods.