Saturday, July 12, 2008

"Dear [Decision Maker]."

Dear [ Decision Maker ],

I just found out that the evil Chimpy McHitlerburton administration is considering allowing loaded guns in national parks. How can this be? When I visit our national parks, I expect them to be safe and serene and full of beautiful wildlife, like bears and cougars and escaped rapists. But allowing guns in our national parks could change all that. Please don't turn off the force field keeping the icky guns out and the magic unicorns in!

Right now, firearms must be unloaded and put away, but still can be legally transported in such a fashion that the illiterate peasantry won't misuse them. (You know, for things like self-defense.) Assertions that firearms cannot be possessed or transported in national park are simply false. So why the rush to change the regulations? The law is reasonable, and it keeps visitors safe from being traumatized by the sight of nasty firearms in the hands of the hoi polloi.

I urge you to keep the current regulations and not open up our national parks to loaded weapons in the hands of law-abiding permit holders. The only people who should have guns in national parks are people who have the proper accessories, like shovels, gloves, tarps, and rolls of duct tape. Thank you for considering my views.

Sincerely,
A. Bedwetter

11 comments:

Regolith said...

Heh. I just switched everything they said around so that the message was pro-gun, then sent that.

Does that make me evil, or simply devious?

E said...

me too. :-)

Anonymous said...

Wish they'd send me something, I have been itching to try the send them a brick in the prepayed return trick.

Alex said...

10-4

Awaiting next VFTP Command assignment...

John B said...

Actually Tam I shot that little this straight off to our warshington reps unmodified. Three fairly hot women, and they all give me a strong case of electile dysfunction.

Joseph said...

When I used to hike, I always carried a weapon. (And a hunting permit, where possible). Why? Not because of bears and such, but because of two-legged predators. One time-once!-did I ever see a LEO in a national park. If I get attacked, I guess I should just curl up and take it?? I don't think so!!

Earl said...

I know that I may have ridden my motorcycle madly through a National Park with a pistol by my side, but can't remember what year that was so this doesn't equate to a confession, didn't hurt a fly nor feelings.

Steve Skubinna said...

A coward is bad enough, but one who demands that the rest of us become cowards is not to be borne.

John B said...

I sent that off unmodified, cos those 3 dear ladies know me, and any sensible person could sense the irony dripping off that message.

Those 3 women are ALL gun-grabbing Democrats.

They're REAL unhappy with Heller.

If that coward crack were meant for me, let me show you my Concealed Carry Permit.

perlhaqr said...

"America's national parks are some of the most peaceful places in our country. They offer solitude and an opportunity for reflection. That's why I was so pleased to learn that the administration is considering allowing law-abiding citizens to carry loaded guns in our national parks.

Please open up our parks to the lawful carry of loaded guns. This administration would be setting an excellent precedent by allowing loaded weapons in our parks, and putting the safety of law abiding citizens above that of criminals and dangerous wildlife."

:D Thanks for providing the automated form, bedwetters united!

Anonymous said...

Don't you realize that your gun is just going to make the bear so mad that he'll take your gun away from you and use it against you.