Saturday, July 26, 2008

...utbay otnay ootay ightbray, if you know what I mean.

If you get so all-fire vexed at your cantankerous lawnmower that shooting it seems to be the only solution, don't get your super-illegal non-tax-stamp-having Title II sawed-off shotgun out to do it, okay? Just use a .22, and you might get off with a misdemeanor, like "discharging a firearm inside city limits", instead of a stint in Federal PMITA Prison.

(H/T to reader Stephen via email.)


Steve Skubinna said...

Nah, I'd use a BB gun. That way, nobody gets unduly alarmed and I don't wreck the mower, and have it oozing fluids all over.

I mean, even if I'm going to junk it, why make it more of a mess to get rid of?

Now, of we're talking about an armed lawnmower, on the other hand... then a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

RedneckInNY said...

If you used a bb-gun, the bb might ricochet right back atcha. You'll put an eye out, kid.

Seems like lots of stupid-gun-use stories are coming out of Wisconsin lately.

Weer'd Beard said...

Its not like a 20" Shotgun won't do anything to a lawn mower. ; ]

Or you could just have the mower fixed...

Ritchie said...

Ape descendants-whatta ya gonna do. At least it wasn't a lug nut.
That he shot, I mean.

Rob K said...

Check out the last two paragraphs of this BBC piece.

Anonymous said...

I have a second cousin who lived/worked on his father's ranch.

A couple decades ago he took me with him to drive out to a windmill powered water pump on the far reaches of the ranch. His Dad was using his truck so we took a rusted out old beaten up Oldsmobile sedan that was parked out back of the barn. While riding along I was examining what looked like three bullet holes in the front doors of the car.

Then while trying to drive through a small gully with some mud in it the car got stuck.

My cousin tried several times to rock the car out of the mud and was quickly losing his temper. Finally he stopped swearing, turned off the car and told me to get out and stand behind the car. Getting out of the car, I positioned myself to start pushing on the back of car. but my cousin motioned me to step farther back away from the car.

As I backed about 30 feet back from the car, my cousin reached into the back seat, removed a rifle that was laying on the back floor, backed a ways off to the side of the car, chambered a round, and fired one shot through the closed front doors of the car.

Then he put the rifle back into the back seat and motioned me to get back in. Once seated in the car and examining the new hole in the door next to me, my cousin started up the car and drove smoothly out of the ditch.

He turned and grinned at me and said "Works every time."

Later that afternoon while following my great uncle around the yard he stopped by the car, stuck his finger in the new hole in the door and looked at me and asked "Where did you guys get stuck?"

I told him and he asked "Did you have to push?"

When I shook my head no, he smiled and said "I wish I knew how he does that."