If you are depressed because Barack Obama is not calling you on the phone and returning your secret affections, or that Michelle won't drop in on your sewing circle, you should get a life. Or stick your tongue in a light socket, mach nichts.
It's one thing for a teenybopper to act this way over... well, whoever that little boy is in that latest vampire movie, for instance... but for a middle-aged account executive in Georgetown, or a retiree in Boca Raton? Please just go in the garage, shut the door behind you, crank up the Buick, and don't come out 'til we call you.
(H/T to Liberty Girl.)