Thursday, February 19, 2009

Truly Ameneh is merciful.

She just wants the guy who blinded her to be blinded in return.

Me? I'd be asking for five minutes alone in a room with him. Just me, and him... and a claw hammer. Five minutes can be a long time.

I don't think there's anything wrong with Majid that a good dose of about 24 ounces of Estwingazine wouldn't fix.


Rabbit said...

Dunno about y'all, but the ad on the right of the page was a recuiting link for the CIA.

I think a little malleable retribution wouldn't be a bad idea, myself.


vw=chauff: The sound a hammer makes entering the 5th and 6th intercostal spaces.

Joe Huffman said...

It would take me at least a day but I would use a propane torch, a dozen propane bottles, and a wire brush. And maybe some earplugs.

JHardin said...

Joe: Don't forget the ten-penny nails.

BobG said...

I like simple things, myself. A Drano enema would suffice.

MauserMedic said...

Eye for an eye works for me; I think there'd be a lot less violent crime if people who perpetrated it underwent the same experience as their victims. But then I'm a vindictive bastard.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

Acid? No.

See, I'm somewhat of a vindictive bastard.

I'd simply have his eyelids surgically removed. Time will take care of the rest :)

Owen said...

im thinking a deli slicer and lots of transfusions.

word verification: FEMBED - this is too easy

Tam said...

"Christiane Amanpour, fembedded with the 542nd MP Company..."

LabRat said...

Dr. Strangegun: Damn, man, I like the way you think.

kbarrett said...

I recommend the estwing E3-CA.

Mikael said...

Eyelids surgically removed, held strapped down until the eyes dry out naturally.

Farm.Dad said...

I honestly thought you were doing a bit of hyperbole till i clicked the link . Now i say that emasculation by said estwing is in order , no matter the parts it might remove .

reflectoscope said...

Maybe this would be a good field trial for that Stanley Fubar I saw the other day. Lots of pokey bits.


Mark said...

I wouldn't blind him.

I'd just kill him. Headshot, by firing squad.

Don't punish. Remove. As you would a cancer. Only, humans aren't like cancer cells, they can slowly realise that certain behaviours will result in them being sat in front of a light platoon of rifles, raiding their cranial vault. Do this, and you die. It should be that simple.

Do not rape. Do not mutilate. Do not steal. These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behaviour which any person can see are right.

Blam. Done. Fertilise a flower patch.

Brigid said...

Dr. Strangegun. . Oh, that is just so perfect. . .

Cossack in a Kilt said...

How about a shout-out to Iranian justice?

Five minutes with an Estwing can be fun---oh Lord, please don't get me started---but having the STATE give you acid eyedrops . . . come on, homies!

Most revenge fantasies are just that. Here the state is doing it up old skool (yo!).

So all of y'all that want to go all Marcellus Wallace on Majid, just take a moment and thank . . . the Islamic Republic of Iran.


Cable TV?

Nah. IRI don't play that way.

A bearded Islamic believer is going to take that guy, and while he's strapped down, Majid's gonna get the last eye drops he'll ever need.

Hate on the Persians all you want.

Then riddle me this, Batman (Batmen?). If Amenah was your daughter, your girl, the light of your life, would you rather "that thing" (aka Majid) got American justice, or Iranian justice?

Let's see: TV, weight room, ACLU supervisors to make sure his rights are respected, or the "Eye Drops of We Don't Tolerate That Cr&p"?

As the homies at 1600 Penn Avenue like to say, "Righteous."

Mad props to Ms. Bahrami, and God knows she has my prayers.

This redneck, Christian, father of two daughters says, "In this case---if nowhere else----I choose Persian justice."

Yeah, it would have been far cooler if Ms. Bahrami had produced a Wilson 1911 from under her burqa and gone all hardball time on Majid. It would have been cooler if my grandpa had done that, too, to the POS that knifed him to death.

The POS that knifed my grandpa to death did four years before he was turned loose. Majid? His eyes are gone baby gone.

This redneck thinks maybe sometimes Persian justice has something to say for itself.

Farm.Dad said...

I did not mention the estwing solution lightly . One of my grandparents ( as well as my ) friends " lost the farm " in the late 70s , and moved to a near by town . They lived in the " bad " section of town as such things are in smalltown usa . The neighbors were hispanic , illegal hispanic and treated the ex ranchers just fine . One neighbor and friend's daughter was a comely little thing that got to the prime age of 14 before an animal raped her rather brutally , he was not content with violation simply of a sexual nature . When " justice " seemed a bit slow ( considering the animals brags about what he had done ) the ol ranch wife and one of her south of the border girlfriends intervened. Yes they did emasculate him with the claw hammer , then they used a " wood burner " like the kid kits to sear the wound shut . They kept him for about another 10 hrs before the same hammer was used to kill him . My ranch mom friend served 10 years for this , and i never had the fortitude to ask her what happened during the hours that they had him . I lost track of the other gal that was involved as i just worried about the one i had known from childhood .

Joseph said...

"Spurned suitor"? Sounds like a run of the mill violent creep to me.

Anonymous said...

They do transpants of eyes and portions of the optic nerve. So I wouldn't exactly poke his eyes out. Just give them to her.

She would then be seeing the world through the eyes of her attacker--just the sort of thing peacemaker types are always exhorting us to do.

This certainly could not be called cruel, unusual, vengeful, or retributive, could it?

Compromise on just one eye, and some facial tissue? I'm sure a crack team of attorneys could work something out.

Bob said...

Anonymous at 11:15 has come up with a brilliant and pragmatic solution, if it was medically feasible. I don't know that Bahrami would exactly benefit from it, other than having her sight back, because she would then see the extent of her disfiguration, and every day would dwell on the fact that she was looking at the world literally through her attacker's eyes. I'd have to guess that extensive psychological counseling would be in order.

Tam, if you've never read it, Heinlein's The Number of the Beast features a visit to a parallel universe in which "eye for an eye" justice is swift and sure.

Ed Foster said...

MauserMedic's remedy, 100%. At the very least.

"Civilized" people don't do that? Wrong. Civilized people punish in proportion to the damage done, with perhaps a little interest, and they do it with consistency so it has a deterrent effect.

I would only ask one further boon from the Imams. The man is a thief. He stole that poor girl's happiness.

This one hits me between wind and water, as younger daughter just got engaged. The little girl I hugged and tickled has grown into the most radiantly happy young woman in my universe, and poor damaged Ameneh sounds like very much the same kind of good decent lady.

So take off the bastard's hands so everyonr in his culture will know not to pity him, know him for what he is.

Caleb said...

I like that this clawhammer as weapon meme that is spreading.

Anonymous said...

"because she would then see the extent of her disfiguration,",

I want to say this in the most heartfelt possible way.

When all else fails us
We have got
The Cleveland Clinic
And those sorry assed eighth century motherfuckers
have not.

Just express-mail the pieces to
Euclid Avenue at 96th St.
I got people who can fix faces.

Anonymous 11:15, and ff. verses.

JHardin said...

+1 to Anonymous at 11:15

And Cossack? I always thought the Constitution got it wrong. It should not prohibit "Cruel and Unusual" punishment, it should prohibit "Disproportionate" punishment. Chop off somebody's hands for stealing a loaf of bread? No. Chop them off for mutilating their victim? That might be Just.

Lergnom said...

A standard oral thermometer and a ball peen hammer.
Not sayin' any more.

Anonymous said...

Hardin, interesting point. Like "well-regulated Militia" and its set of scattergun commas, words have migrated since the 18th cent. and unfortunately we now rely on judges, some of whom may not have been English majors, to re-define the definitions. Witness the death penalty, which some certain courts now take to be "unusual," simply because they have made it so.

I've no doubt that "unusual" meant "disproportionate" to the Framers. Not sure how far I run with you on the amputations, but a little branding couldn't hurt. Now that we have silicone seal and pink fiberglas, tar and feathers could go high-tech (can you tell I installed my own Hi-V A/C?).