I am not kidding: A state legislator in Rhode Island has put forward a piece of legislation that would create a state board for arbitrating disputes between parents in youth sports. Srsly. An honest-to-Shiva taxpayer-funded government panel for refereeing penalty kicks in AYSA soccer, explaining the infield fly rule to Little League moms, and telling the fathers of Pop Warner players that their kid isn't really first-string material and is better suited for playing End Guard Tackle. (That's the guy who sits on the end of the bench, guards the water bucket, and tackles anybody who comes near it.)
Personally, I think anybody who has such a shocking level of immaturity and lack of impulse control that they need to go before a State fricken' Youth Sports Arbitrage Commission to iron out some game of parental push'n'shove at the local soccer field is providing prima facie evidence of their unsuitability as a parent. The kids should be given to real adults before Chip or Muffy can screw them up any worse, and Chip or Muffy should get tossed in the nearest Soylent Green vat, lest they somehow swim upstream to the spawning grounds again.
But that's just me.