Friday, April 10, 2009

Pirates?

Where is Lieutenant Presley O'Bannon now that we need him? Or Lt. Stephen Decatur, Jr., for that matter? (Or President Jefferson?)

Is there a single person in our federal government who can find Derne on a map, or knows why Marine officers carry those funny-looking swords?

There is only one proper and customary resolution for this situation, and it involves a yardarm.

34 comments:

og said...

LOL! Mamelukes, the original "Pwned". Sweet. You must win at trivial pursuit all the time.

elvistheoriginalterminator said...

I'm looking for Derne right now, maybe I can get a job....

Jay G said...

Why do I hear R. Lee Ermey here:

"Why am I not stomping Pirate Pyle's guts out?"

fast richard said...

In the days after 9-11 I compared the terrorists to pirates. Now that actual pirates are in the news, I still think the analogy holds. The pirates of a couple hundred years ago were hunted nearly to extinction because the worlds navies (mostly the British and Americans) were allowed to hunt them. Hanging from the yardarm was at the discretion of the ship's Captain, and his decision was generally supported by his government. We need to issue that same kind of hunting license again.

Mark Alger said...

Perhaps it should be pointed out to the pussies (as in pussilanimous idiots) in DC how the Brits managed to put a big dent in the slave trade. I can see no difference among slavers, terrorists, or pirates. Why is this dot-connection so hard for politicians?

M

Cossack in a Kilt said...

Sink the lifeboat. Yeah, tough about the US citizen they're holding hostage, but, umm, damn. These things happen, you know. I've read my Bible and I've read some history, and I've concluded that sometimes people are just in the wrong place.

If pirates seize a vessel, sink it. Kill them all.

No, we're going to dance around the issue. We've got SEAL teams and Navy vessels, frustrated by a FRICKIN' LIFEBOAT. We've got FBI hostage negotiators! We are showing the world (once again) that we are a fundamentally unserious people, and history has tended to deal harshly with fundamentally unserious peoples.

It sounds like Richard Phillips showed more intestinal fortitude than most people, and I salute his courage, but, umm, yeah: sink the damn lifeboat, machinegun the pirates in the water, or better yet pull the survivors from the water and blow them from cannon. (Hey, it worked during the Mutiny!)

Tam said...

"Ahoy, pirates in the orange lifeboat! A U.S. Navy SEAL has attached a limpet mine to the bottom of your vessel. It will detonate in fifteen minutes. It cannot be disarmed. That is all."

Tam said...

...instead, though, Obama is behaving with all the aplomb of Carter during the Iranian embassy crisis.

Caleb said...

You have no idea how irritating I find this whole situation. You do not negotiate with terrorists, pirates, or other hostage takers.

Christ, we need to get Harrison "GET OFF MY PLANE" Ford to run for president.

theirritablearchitect said...

I think sinking more than just the lifeboat is in order...but Mark hit the nail on the head.

Pussies, one and all.

Anonymous said...

The ship alongside the lifeboat is a rather stable platform. It shelters the lifeboat from waves. The range is but a few yards.

Take the shots and have done with it.

Judge Napolitano was on Fox News with some comments: While there is no body of law preventing ships being armed, there are all manner of liability issues. As usual, we seem to have legislated ourselves out of the realm of rational thought.

Art

Michael W. said...

From what I understand congress still has the power of issuing letters of marque and reprisal, which would give citizens the legal authority to arm ships and hunt enemies of the country. The government would get a cut of anything these privateers take. Now that would make for a interesting summer vacation.......

Rob K said...

I was greatly encouraged when I heard that the crew had re-taken the Maersk Alabama, and that the captain had attempted to escape.

I am disgusted that our government hasn't rescued him and killed the pirates yet.

John the Texaner said...

I agree, this is incredibly irritating. We have the best special ops people in the world, and we can't take care of a few hoodlums in a lifeboat? What a bunch of pussies we've turned into.

Rabbit said...

I think I'll call my good Senator (the one with more spine, anyway) and my Congressman (the pilot, Vietnam POW and hero) and inquire as to the issuance of Lettres of Marque and Reprisal. I bet I could combine elements of the White Rock Yacht Club and several old Marines I know and have a wonderful summer vacation, ala "The Wild Geese".

Light Horse, anyone?

I'm frankly amazed that the news reports that SEALS are aboard the Maersk Alabama after the fact, as she's powering away, yet they (the Navy, not the admin) haven't put a unit in the water at night to grease the 4 terrs quietly.

Bad precedent, negotiating with scum. The only negotiations should begin with 5 inch shells.

Regards,
Rabbit.

D.W. Drang said...

Rabbit
I wish I had a good senator. Or a representative who was a hero.

Or a president who was a man.

WV: unflext. My knee, as opposed to President Hopey-Changey's.

reflectoscope said...

As soon as a few high-speed boats chasing merchant ships on the high seas eat one of these then the value/effort relationship will look a lot less favourable. Easy breezy, cheap, and effective. Yes, making war on pirates would entail offending them, but those are the breaks.

Jim

Michael W. said...

Hey Rabbit!

Let me know when you want to go. Not a prior service marine but retired law dog who is pretty handy with a riot gun. BOARDERS AWAY!!!!!! -grin-

Michael W. said...

Hey Cossack in a Kilt!

You don't want to waste powder and shot that way, times being as hard as they are.

Take the pirates and sew them up in a pig skin and toss them overboard. Quick, cheap and effective. -grin-

As my wife would say, I am getting MEAN in my old age....

Brad K. said...

I am awed anew at novelist David Weber's Honor Harrington books. The fact that "Somalia" sounds anything like "Silesia" is breathtaking.

I like his solution - DNA ID each terrorist, pirate, etc. Hand them over to the authorities. If they ever come to attention in questionable circumstances - ever - they get shot dead, dumped in the ocean, and quietly forgotten.

Oh, and keep track of the officials that failed to incarcerate the miscreants - hunt them down, too.

What I am wondering is why any of the ransoms got paid - and none of the financial institutions involved got burned to the ground. The money trail is always the vulnerable part of the operation.

Unless, that is, they managed to get enough campaign contributions to Obama - which would explain a lot. One wonders at ACORN's facilities in Somalia and Saudi Arabia.

mts1 said...

I'm waiting for the pirates to open their own eBay store to sell off their booty. Then I'll jump out of the window out of desperation. Good thing I live on the ground floor.

Think of all the taxpayer money spent on this futile exercise, with no dead pirate payoff at the end.

Letters of marque and reprisal? Now that's the idea. Sometimes, the people have to go out and do the job government fails at. Like patching potholes, policing the border, and declaring Pirate Hunting Season. No bag limit.

Anonymous said...

I realize that it would violate a number of maretime laws, but where is Graf Luckner's Seeadler when you need her?

LittleRed1

wv: chante - the French spelling of shanty, a rude song sung by men of the seas.

Gallia said...

Yes, sink the life boat. Capt. Phillips has already shown us that he can swim. He should be able to swim a short distance from the pirates. They won't be able to chase him hanging on to their AK's. And the U.S. navy can then turn the pirates into chum.

Anonymous said...

Sure we can kill the pirates there, but you are just killing alligators and not draining the swamp.

Let's grab up one of these pirates, shove a needle into his eye or other body parts (like the Hungarian AVO used to do) until he tells us where he sailed from and then we kill every single living thing, goats included, in that port. How dare these savages raise a hand to us.

Instead we have a statist One Worlder Secretary of State laughing at the notion of piracy. If you look or behave like food, you will be eaten.

Shootin' Buddy

FTNuke said...

What is so frustrating is it seems like this country has forgotten what it even has a Navy and Marine Corps for. Kill them all, every time, no questions, no negotiations and no mercy.

kbarrett said...

A yardarm?

Oh, Impalement! But doncha need one for each pirate? Or do you make 'em share one?

kbarrett said...

Tam:"Ahoy, pirates in the orange lifeboat! A U.S. Navy SEAL has attached a limpet mine to the bottom of your vessel. It will detonate in fifteen minutes. It cannot be disarmed. That is all."

The trick is to just say that without setting a mine ... and have a bunch of Seals with re-breathers waiting under the boat.

Firehand said...

When I heard our White House Weenie say that 'the President is considering the situation', I wanted to scream. Just how damn much consideration does it require to decide
A: "If you surrender with the hostage unharmed, you get fair trial; harm the hostage and we bury you at sea with bacon in your mouth", followed by

Go to their home port and stomp it flat, leaving a note along the lines of "Do not fuck with our ships."

Of course, that would require an administration more concerned with solving the problem than looking concerned and all-knowing. And being useless.

Don Meaker said...

First option. Arm the merchant men.
Likely counter; pirates will kill, rather than capture merchant seamen.

Second option. Institute convoy operations.
Likely counter: pirates will use mines to separate escorts from merchants. An expensive option which reduces ship volume.

Third option. Attack the base areas. Mine the local ports and beaches. Burn and bomb any buildings, until "A crow crossing will have to carry his own provisions."

Anonymous said...

Comment follows, to the London Times, about an article which noted that the French have been sorta heavy handed, what with killing pirates, and all. Seems a hostage got caught one, too, during a re-boarding ops.

It was a small sailing yacht on a family 'get away from it all' pleasure cruise. Dad got it. What BTW, was Dad thinking/not thinking by taking his family into those waters, BTW?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
""commentary to the Times"":

"Security from aggression is NOT free from human cost. When a civil society faces an uncivil criminal society, one may choose a road that leads to becoming Eloi for the Morlocks, or one may choose to face up to the risk inherent in refusing to be a victim, for the violent predators of mankind. Choose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drop a penny in the well.

John, the Red.

Anonymous said...

Point of order.

Officers of all branches have swords. Marines are the only enlisted personnel issued the cutlass.

Tam said...

"Point of order.

Officers of all branches have swords. Marines are the only enlisted personnel issued the cutlass.
"

Point of order: The USMC officer's sword is called "The ________ Sword" and commemorates what occasion?

Caleb said...

OH OH I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE.

Mameluke sword

Protip: we used to deal with piracy by killing the pirates. Seemed to work in the 1800s pretty well.

Anonymous said...

No. Point of Order: This is not about Marine officers! The Marine Corps, unlike any other service, issues a sword to NCO's. They carry the 1858 Cavalry Sword.

It's a fine thing to lead from the front, but you don't send an officer to do a sergeant's job.