Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The dumbest man on the internet.

Yesterday my buddy Robb posted a quickly-ginned-up Photoshop spoof of the Bush "Air National Guard Memo", down to the bad font choice, proportional spacing, and faux mimeograph machine spatter and fax transmission artifacts.

He was fairly proud of his handiwork and emailed a few of us a link, and we chuckled, and linked it, and it caught on and somebody over at the big kids' table with Pajamas Media saw it and linked it and...

Oh.

My.

Gawd.

Just when I think I cannot be further amazed by the abject stupidity of the average moron who has managed to figure out how to string a cable between his modem and the back of his tower case, I am proven wrong.

Remember when your physics prof would illustrate dense gravity fields distorting space-time with the "bowling ball on the rubber sheet" analogy? Well, if the internet is the rubber sheet, the comments section of that post is the bowling ball.

Let's pick a sample cretin for a swift kick in the metaphorical junk. Commenter "Syntax" writes:
Who faxed it to you?
Who did you authenticate it with?
What the hell is it?
Memo to who?
Memo from who?

2 things:

1) It would take me all of about 10 minutes to create this "smoking gun" piece of cluelessness in Photoshop.

2) Does anybody really believe they had HMOs back in 1961?

To answer Enrico Fermi's questions one at a time:
  • It's a joke, you simpleton.
  • Dan Rather.
  • An IQ test, and you failed.
  • Your mom.
  • Charles Darwin.

And as for the 2 bonus questions:
  1. Stop and think about that for a second.
  2. Into the Soylent Green tank with you.

I truly hope that "Syntax" has not yet managed to swim upstream and spawn, but I fear we saw his soulmate on YouTube just the other day.

It is reading comment threads like that that will make a monarchist of me yet.

16 comments:

Jay G said...

Further proof that we need a lot more chlorine in the damn gene pool...

Matthew said...

As far as monarchy goes, just remember your history. For every Henri IV or Louis XI, there's at least 3 or 4 Carlos the Mad's.

Joanna said...

Syntax and his brethren are responsible for 90% of the e-mails that end up on Snopes. I hate to think where the other 10% comes from.

Nathan Brindle said...

I've been something of a closet monarchist ever since I started reading H. Beam Piper.

---
"That's right," the self-proclaimed Prince-Protector said. "There's something wrong with democracy. If there weren't, it couldn't be overthrown by people like Makann, attacking it from within by democratic procedures. I don't think it's fundamentally unworkable. I think it just has a few of what engineers call bugs. It's not safe to run a defective machine till you learn the defects and remedy them."
---

Robb Allen said...

It has been an eye opening experience, to say the least. Of course, my MO is to egg the idiots on.

Oh, and BTW, I've been using your "go play Kiss The Locomotive" snark left and right!

Popgun said...

Marvelous snark!

I laughed till my sides hurt!

Thanks!
-Popgun

theirritablearchitect said...

"It is reading comment threads like that that will make a murderer of me yet."

There, fixed your comment for myself.

Stretch said...

Am sure the writer was:
1) Publicly Educated
2) Possible degree in Sociology
3) Definitely Democrat.
4) Prime ACORN material.

Ken said...

There's a blogger out there goes by Mencius Moldbug, an unapologetic Jacobin. You might like his stuff.

WV: kingen. Of course it is. How are you this morning, Skynet?

DirtCrashr said...

Mimeograph - smells like victory in Home-room! Wow, these guys really got themselves a groove on.

As a data-point, I was born overseas of American parents and had to be naturalized when we returned to the US when I was 1-1/2ys. old. We did not live on any Army base and were not affiliated with the US military or Foreign Service.

og said...

this is why i come here every day. you win the internet. i'll drop off my portion next meet i get to.

Kristopher said...

There was exactly one HMO in 1961.

Kaiser Permanente.

Boris da Bastid said...

you say that mem was faked? heh. I saw a link to it yesterday on drudge.

Julie said...

i'm with theirritablearchitect ... monarchist is way too mundane ... maybe eugenicist instead??

Borepatch said...

It is reading comment threads like that that will make a monarchist of me yet.

Three words: Mad King Ludwig.

;-)

Christina LMT said...

It is reading comment threads like that that will make a monarchist of me yet.

I did a double-take when I read that...I saw "masochist"!