Saturday, May 21, 2011

Just can't kick the habit...

"He would have won re-election easily," according to Darrell West, a political scientist who has followed Kennedy's career closely since the early 1990s. Incidentally, Kennedy's departure in January marked the first time in 58 years that there is no Kennedy in the national government -- no congressman, senator or president.
Our long national nightmare is over... or is it?

Apparently the Mayo Clinic helped Patrick Kennedy out with the coke and the sleeping pills, but he's still in need of a Twelve Step program for his public trough addiction: Now he's running around calling for the neuromedical equivalent of the Apollo Program that will... I don't know, I guess have some tiny shrunken dude navigate through the bloodstream and plant a teensy American flag on the temporal lobe by 2021.

And how about that picture at the CNN piece? At first I was all like "Look out, Patrick! It's a lich! It's got its arm around you and it's gonna devour your mind!" and then I realized that "Oh, yeah, that's his dad..."
The 43-year-old Kennedy left Congress in January, after spending more than half his life in public office. Now he's outside the Carter Center, taking a break after talking up his latest plan to a group of mental health advocates, including former first lady Rosalynn Carter.
See? Even when we say we've kicked the Kennedy habit, next thing you know, we're huddled out on the veranda of the Carter Center with Rosalynn, surreptitiously huffing us some Patrick.

I wonder, can we check America in at Betty Ford? We keep turning up with high levels of Kennedys in our national bloodstream and it's time we admit we have a problem. I dream of a day when we can take a national whiz quiz and have it come back 100% Kennedy-free.

15 comments:

wolfwalker said...

And how about that picture at the CNN piece?

Is it just me, or does that photo make Patches look more than a little like Michael J. Fox?

og said...

Someone has to finance all that research to see to it that the ruling elite doesn't have to suffer with brain disease. After all, the Kennedys didn't make all that money by- you know- paying for stuff themselves.

wv: grater.

Firehand said...

Never did understand the "Oh, it's John-John!" and Camelot crap; and that was BEFORE I saw what a sleaze Swimmer was.

Lanius said...

What? Some Kennedys still alive in the political pit?

I thought Ted was the last one, and he croaked last year, didn't he?

Huh.

I hate JFK. He killed off the Orion program. Basterd.

Borepatch said...

How about instead of a progressive income tax, they institute a progressive wealth tax. Something like, oh, I don't know, 10% for the Kennedy's bracket?

What, don't they want to pay their fair share?

perlhaqr said...

The 43-year-old Kennedy left Congress in January, after spending more than half his life in public office.

Good god. What public office can you even hold at 21?

Lanius said...

@perl

What office? We had a few 24 year old MP's in Slovakia... but they were not really good at it. Then it's an exception, to notice a non-sucking MP.

Drang said...

I LOLd.
See? I told you your spirit wasn't broken!

Billll said...

Looking at what has happened since the departure of the last Kennedy, I suppose they could argue that it was only them, saving the country from the pit it's in now.

Quizikle said...

Well, we have the Bush dynasty now. They're still floating about somewhere (Jeb for Prez?).

Not as interesting or photogenic - but they have their own set of shenanigans we can talk about.
Q

Tam said...

"Well, we have the Bush dynasty now."

Father and son does hardly a "dynasty" make. Jeb's been out of politics since '07; I doubt he could even make a convincing showing in the primaries.

John B said...

Insert constant occasional -though somewhat belated- marriage proposal here

Kennedy Free! Sure an begorrah a Coleen! Now there's world fit for a non hyphenated Irish American to live in!

Weer'd Beard said...

We still have a Clinton Kicking around.

We threw the Kings out in 1776...only to long for their return shortly thereafter.

Anonymous said...

"but he's still in need of a Twelve Step program for his public trough addiction"

That thought that was one step: thinks of run for office/some quango - massive electrical shock. Repeat repeat repeat as necessary.

He gets a actual job earning money. Carrot~!

Anonymous said...

He was a state rep at 21 and immediately introduced an "assault weapons" ban bill.... He was, and is, a complete tool, and I'd like to apologize to America on behalf of the 46% of people in my state who never voted for the little socialist POS.