This morning the local news was running a canned national story on the fattification of America. Too much sugar! Too much fast food! Too much doing whatever they want!
Turns out that Bloomberg was just a trial balloon, the tip of the spear, the camel's nose. Look around you; this thing's getting a full-court press in the media.
Hang on, let me put this cigarette out so I can come inside and you can hear me better...
Warned you, Fatty, didn't I? Heck, they're telling people that your lard butt is causing Global Warming now, for Gaia's sake! You're using up an unfair share of the world's food resources, and your Number Three Value Meal generates trash the way a paper cup of water and a tofu patty wrapped in a lettuce leaf doesn't.
Brace for it, Tubby, because if it isn't entirely dismantled, Obamacare is the universal adapter for doing whatever they want to your dining habits. Remember, if I pay for your doctor bills, I own you, and if you pay for mine, you own me, and here we all are 'round the cannibal pot.
Come sit back here in the back of the bus with us smokers. (It's okay, we're not allowed to smoke on the bus; they just make us sit here to keep us from getting nasty Third-Hand Smoke from our clothes onto the seats for the decent people.)
And don't you snicker behind your hand over there, Boozie. They're coming for you, too, again, mark my words. We'll save you a seat back here.