Tactical Poser

So, after two years of wear, my original Royal Robbins gun burkhas are starting to show some of the tell-tale signs of use. Specifically, while a plastic Smith M&P isn't rough on synthetic blends in quite the same way that 20lpi checkering on a Springfield Professional abrades cotton chambray shirts, there's still a certain amount of wear and tear involved over the right kidney.

With summer coming up, I headed to Amazon to order a couple fresh shirts to throw in the mix, only to discover that the Royal Robbins Expedition was no longer available in the darker green "canopy" color that I liked, but only the brighter "avocado" that I don't think looks good on me at all. There's a Royal Robbins Expedition Stretch, but it's available in a color called "artichoke" that looks pretty much the same as "avocado".

This means that I had to head over to the 5.11 section and order a couple 5.11 Taclite Pro shirts in the "TDU green" color. Never mind that the Royal Robbins Expedition shirt and the 5.11 Taclite Pro shirt are the exact same shirt, for some reason it makes me feel like a total poser mall ninja to order the 5.11 product, because I am neither a "Pro" nor am I particularly "Tactical". This is the only way I know how to operate: