Thursday, March 04, 2010

Eco-Friendly War.

Having received word that hang-glider-equipped terrorists might be about to attack, Indian security forces can load up their armor-plated golf carts and brace to repel boarders. No word if the Indian ground troops will attempt to bring down the gliders with lead-free ammunition, or whether the tangoes will be using bombs made from the newer biodegradable non-toxic plastique.

Indian 4-EnergyStar General Gupta said his troops are "...at standby, but can be powered up at the twitch of a mouse."

9 comments:

Les Jones said...

I hope Klinger gets credit for the attack gliders.

DirtCrashr said...

CNN's behind the curve on the flying suicide monkeys, this came out in January.
I wonder if some Euro-prankster leaked the goofy intelligence about para-gliders just to see how far it would run - it's become a bit of a bourgeoisie sport up in Kashmir.

Sigivald said...

There's no possible way average security troops can stop Otto Skorzeny.

I suggest they not even try, it'd just be a waste.

Ed Foster said...

Have they considered handing out Mossberg 500's and letting the kiddies shoot trap?

The Indians also blamed the Lee-Enfield for their defeat against the Chinese back in the '60's. They said it wasn't fair that the Chinese used AK's.

Leaving aside the fact that, in mountain fighting I would much rather have an Enfield that could be of some use at 500 or 600 yards rather than an AK that could miss rapidly at that range, in point of fact most of the Chinese troops were armed with Moisin-Nagant carbines.

The Indians lost because they stayed on the roads and the Chinese didn't, as simple as that.

Tens of thousands of the world's best trained mountain troops were cut off without resupply and forced to surrender because their beans and bullets were 200 miles away and the Indian Air Force didn't have the air drop capability to give even a modicum of logistic support.

Also, I saw 70,000 (New Britain CT made) Israeli TAVORS headed to the Indian National Police 3 years ago, with an extra $1,000 each of sights, lasers, and assorted electronic can openers attached.

I think they keep the Enfields around to supply an excuse for somebody dropping the ball.

DirtCrashr said...

At least they're .308 ten-round Ishapore Enfields. :-) Back in the day they were mostly used as badges of office and clubs to beat people into submission.

BobG said...

"Have they considered handing out Mossberg 500's and letting the kiddies shoot trap?"

My thoughts exactly. A few good trap shooters ought to be able to make a serious dent in the Gliding Jihadi Squadron.

Ed Foster said...

The Gliding Jihadi Squadron. Damn that scans.

Beaumont said...

70,000 Tavors? From CT? What? Someone please elucidate.

Ed Foster said...

Most of the TAVOR is made in CT. Recievers, bolts, and extractors at Continental Machine and Tool Co., various smaller parts at other job shops in the Waterbury to Milford CT area, and I'm not supposed to say where the plastic gets cast on to the metal.

The work has to get done in the U.S., because the money comes out of the 2+ billion dollars of military aid America gives Israel each year, contingent on it's being spent in the U.S.

The reciever contract was pulled from Continental last year, when the guys from I.W.I.(they split from I.M.I. 4 years ago) found someone out in the mid-west who could run them cheaper.

They screwed the pooch savagely (that reciever is quite flimsy until the plastic is cast to it, and is thirteen bitches to machine), and the contract will be back in New Britain again by summer. Maybe there's a reason most gun parts come from the Connecticut river valley:-)