Saturday, March 27, 2010

A for effort.

If you wanted to say something to somebody, you could use a method as vague and impersonal as a cell phone text message in clumsily-abbreviated TXTSPK, or you could be as creative and personal as sending them flowers or a severed goat head.

However, if you choose one of the latter methods, you should probably include a little card putting the message in context, such as "Happy Valentine's Day!" or "Do you know where your children are?", otherwise the recipient may just be baffled as to what you are trying to say:
"The only thing I can assume," Shellow wrote, "is that someone was trying to get my attention on a lovely summer day and was unable to locate his or her copy of the yellow pages."

5 comments:

Brigid said...

Years ago, I was selecting and interviewing candidates for a job. There were a TON of resumes, all pretty much cookie cutter. As we were leaving the office one night and turning off the light, there was a strange glow from my desk. Someone had treated their resume so it glowed in the dark.

Yes, they got an interview.

Jay G said...

Gotta give the DA props for being cool and snarky about it. Kinda sounds like "Tamara: District Attorney" or something...

Brad K. said...

It sounds more Satan worshipper - perverted Christian, that is, as only Christianity defines a "satan".

Mirror writing - the backwards thing - makes it sound like a curse, which we all know comes back on the curser threefold. That is one reason you seldom see curses.


Of course, it could be "leftovers" from a goat barbecue event, and the note was merely "wish you were beer" from someone enjoying a brief interlude from sobriety.

Or maybe, the note was "Saved you the tongue, I love it pickled in vinegar with rosemary. The ears make a great necklace, and I grind the teeth for an awesome potting soil amendment for the Aloe Vera plants in my kitchen!"

reflectoscope said...

I'd hate to see the Rosetta Stone for this one.

Jim

Dixie said...

Someone had treated their resume so it glowed in the dark.

Please tell me they use a phosphor of some sort, and not tritium.