Sunday, March 28, 2010

Heathen sports...

Apparently some sporting contest is about to come to its conclusion here in Hoosierville. The natives are restless because some local Grave of Academe here within rock-throwing distance of Broad Ripple has accidentally wound up in the semidemihemiquarterfinals.

Despite the fact that the game in question was invented by a native Canuckistani and therefore involves round bacon and dribbling the ball with your gizzard, I am still hopeful that our hometown boys will win the Vince Stanley Cup Series by three field goals and a chukkar.

28 comments:

Roberta X said...

You are a vile and ungrateful transplant, up with whom I shall not put.

Fie, Tam, fie!

og said...

Indiana will only win if they spike the manatee.

SayUncle said...

thought basketball was invented by the mayans? at least a tour guide told me that once.

-SayUncle

Jeffro said...

And ye, though the Naismith was Canuckian, he saw the error of his ways and became a Naturalized Citizen, inventing and refining the holy of holies at The University of Kansas, where the descendants of his Mighty Program exited the Valiant Tourney early this year, as did the Lessor Kansas Team down the Interstate from Snob Hill later in the Winnowing Process.

Damn.

Jayson said...

You will be punished for your heresy. I won't be surprised if you're struck down!

And the canuck in question invented the sport in Massachusetts. Location is everything.

Tam said...

"And the canuck in question invented the sport in Massachusetts."

Canada, Massachusetts... toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe. ;) :p

Owen said...

waitaminnit! I thought it was invented in Mecca! I mean Springfield, MA. Peach baskets and all that.

Jay T said...

I think the University is Butler, about whom I know little else other than it was named after an English gentleman's gentleman.

Jack said...

That Canadian hoop sport is barely above the horizon up here now. The Vancouver Grizzlies slunk off to Memphis and the Toronto Raptors are barely hanging on. Meanwhile the citizens of the centre of the universe still support the Maple Leafs.

"Spring is here. the Leafs are out"

KsR said...

Canada? Never heard of it. You must be thinking of Greater Northern Minnesota.

Heath said...

They need to make the hoops about 5' higher, then that dumb sport would be interesting.

Right now, it's just a bunch of dumbass thugs in training chasing a big orange ball around.

Anonymous said...

""And the canuck in question invented the sport in Massachusetts."

Canada, Massachusetts... toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe. ;) :p"

Jugular *and* jocular in three frickin' minutes, post-to-post; how does she do that?

AT

Ken said...

The coach here at Cleveland State calls the Horizon League (home of Butler and CSU, among others) tournament "the Butler Invitational."

Don't know much about the university, but they have put together a basketball program. If they were in a "power" conference like the Big East, they'd have been a #2 or #3 seed instead of #5. I'll be rooting for them, with the Buckeyes out of the running.

Anonymous said...

I was all excited until I realized that the Butler in question was NOT the local HS team.

Gmac

theirritablearchitect said...

Watch it, lady.

Beware of the Phog. He was a disciple of the inventor, who was, ironically, the only losing coach in Jayhawk history.

No jokes about my boys losing in the second round. It's been a painful month.

Jeff said...

I never really learned to HATE basketball until after I moved to IN and made it my adopted hometown.

I'm kinda hoping that they burn down Lansing as a result of whatever happens at the tourny. it'll make good news at the least, clean out a crappy state .gov at best.

staghounds said...

Er. ChukkEr.


And it's a game, not a sport.

And the few times I've seen this game played I've agreed with the Irishman seeing his first Rugby match- "Shure, what a grand game it would be if they only had stics!"

Tam said...

"Er. ChukkEr."

I've never actually been to a lacrosse game, so... ;)

Anonymous said...

"Indiana will only win if they spike the manatee."

Indiana University will only win if you are speaking of spiking manatees in 2011.

Sadly Indiana was not invited by the NCAA this year. Obviously an oversight.

Shootin' Buddy

Owen said...

Lacrosse is fun too. Those hard rubber balls smart when they hit you in the stomach at 100+ mph...

og said...

I don't consider anything a sport that doesn't involve potentially bringing something dead home. Which limits it to hunting, fishing, and occasionally open wheel auto racing. I am utterly astounded by the emotional involvement people have in watching someone else play a game. So I'm naturaly clueless.

reflectoscope said...

Basketball: 10 guys putting a lot of effort into making an activity boring.*

*My opinion, and we all know the rule on those.

Jim

Tam said...

Og,

Open wheel auto racing is too sedate: They all line up politely for the turns and nobody ever gets a knee down. ;)

Nathan said...

"Grave of Academe".

I LOLed. :)

og said...

"Open wheel auto racing is too sedate:"

Painfully, you are correct. I do so long for the good old days.

I did have high hopes for Danica. She had the kind of Nigell Mansell "I'm-entitled-to-win" attitude that I was sure was gonna be trouble, and a couple years back it almost was, as she strutted her stuff down pit row to get in someone's face, before her handlers tugged on her leash. Now she's another one of the good old boys.



A good old boy with a really nice dumper, perhaps, but a good old boy nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

The sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area. -- Lyle

Ken said...

Our laundry is cooler than your laundry!

Anonymous said...

Go local college and/or sports team!