Thursday, March 25, 2010

"I don't wanna be no stinkin' repo man..."

I dabbled extremely briefly in the automotive repossession field, just long enough to get some interesting stories to tell, but I got nothin' like this one:
Shortly before 4 p.m. Monday, a man seeking to repossess the 2001 Ford Expedition of 28-year-old Krystal Gardner arrived at her home in the 10000 block of Landsdowne Drive in southeast Dallas, police said.

And then things went rodeo.

First, Krystal-with-a-K, noticing her truck backing out of the driveway and deducing that its departure may have something to do with her lack of payments, lobs her toddler through the open back window of the SUV. Apparently at some point in her 28 years on the planet she'd become familiar enough with the Texas penal code to learn, among other no doubt fascinating tidbits, that trying to repossess a vehicle with somebody inside it was agin' the law.

Once the baby hit the back seat, Repo Man throws the Ford Leviathan into park and bails from the vehicle, to be greeted by a 15-y.o. gentleman exiting Krystal's crib with a shotgun in his paws.

The yoot, whose last name differs from the owner of the land yacht and whose reasons for being present at the scene are not adequately explored in the news clipping, set off two rounds from the fowling piece: one into the air and the other into the leg of Mr. Repo Man. At this point, before things could get even more bizarre, Johnny Law showed up and order was restored.

I must confess to some surprise when I checked the satellite photos of the area on Google maps and none of the houses on the street appeared to have axles.


(H/T to Bob S.)

26 comments:

Turk Turon said...

"Repo man's got ALL NIGHT!"

Great post!

Armed Texan said...

I would say that the sad part of the story is the infant being tossed into the back seat, but since "mom" is going to jail and CPS is likely to adopt baby out, the kid might now have a chance for a normal life. So that's the good part of the story. The sad part is that Mr. Repo either doesn't carry or forgot to draw down. I'm not saying he should have shot and killed the 15 year old, but bringing out the iron and firing a warning shot might teach junior to stop playing with the scatter gun.

Anonymous said...

My question: was the banjo music played on the SUV's stereo or was it piped into the neighborhood via speaker?

What a great case this would be to defend!

"Your honor, my client's child's toy, was in the backseat and my client, who happends to be completely innocent, was only thinking of her child. Why won't anyone think of the children?"

And then I roll on the courtroom carpet alternating between crying and foaming at the mouth.

Shootin' Buddy

Overload in Colorado said...

With that kind of accuracy, the Cowboys should sign her.

Lewis said...

We ain't all like that. Some of us would have missed with the baby.

Sheesh. As if LBJ and 43 didn't make me embarrassed enough to be a Texican . . . .

Moriarty said...

My son (age 7) finally asked me why I sometimes say, "You still on the job, white boy... get in the car" when we leave for school.

(I told him it was all part of the overlying lattice of coincidence that makes up the Cosmic Unconsciousness.)

My wife, OTOH, regards "the Man" as the Stupidest Movie of All Time. Then again, she also asked me when the Russians finally landed on the Moon and if aspirin was effective for fevers.

These kids today...

BillyBob said...

Gotta disagree with you a bit Armed Texan...

If I am in a position that I feel it is necessary to draw a weapon, there will not be a warning shot.

reflectoscope said...

Ditto - don't draw if you're not willing to carry it through to the finish: That is a bluff you cannot afford to be called on.

Jim

Crucis said...

ISTR, that in Texas the use of lethal force is justified in defense of property. I believe there was a similar incident some years ago around Dallas when a repoman was shot trying to back a truck out of a drive-way. The shooter was not charged. As I remember, in Texas, repo men must work through the local LEOs and must do their work in daylight.

I'm sure someone here will refute my memory if I'm wrong.

jimbob86 said...

"Ditto - don't draw if you're not willing to carry it through to the finish: That is a bluff you cannot afford to be called on."

......PARTICULARLY if you are drawing against a pointed SHOTGUN.

That would be drawing to an inside straight, there- the kid already shot you once- you 'spose he'll hesitate to end you if you go to reachin'?

OA said...

"Krystal-with-a-K"

Parking lot of conception?

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

... aaaaaaaaand order was restored...

Anonymous said...

Now, see, if dead tree "journalists" would write stories like that, I might have renewed that subscription.

Hope the kid'll be okay; wherever they send him, he's gotta be better off than with MethMom, I mean Krystal. Heh.

AT

DaveFla said...

"I must confess to some surprise when I checked the satellite photos of the area on Google maps and none of the houses on the street appeared to have axles."

When I stop chuckling (having already passed through the "laughing out loud" stage) I plan to wear out my welcome with my friends by comparing you to Twain while they'll still listen...

NYEMT said...

The houses don't have axles...but neither do most of the cars in the yards. It all evens out eventually.

theirritablearchitect said...

All that, for an Explorer that's damned near 10 years old. What's that note worth, five bills?

theirritablearchitect said...

Excuse me, Expedition, but...still.

og said...

This is one of the reasons I stayed the hell away from repo (though I once did gambling-debt-collection). If I wanted to get shot at I'd have become a cop.

RevolverRob said...

Having grown up in Dallas, I knew immediately the part of town referenced in this story. I'm not surprised to see a lack of axles under the houses, nor am I surprised to see a 15 year old kid with a scattergun on the lawn.

Knowing the area, mum, teenager, said firearm are all probably involved at some point or another in drugs/gang activity of some type. It's so rampant in the area.

-Rob

Will said...

Well, here in Kali, tow drivers are not allowed to carry any weapons (not even pepper spray) in or on the trucks. Even if you have a ccw permit. Wouldn't do to inconvenience the occasional psychopath. As: CHP tow truck pulls up to a man walking away from a car on the freeway. BG opens the passenger door and empties a .22 into the tow driver, who takes at least 7 hits. BG climbs fence into military area, and guards find him and call for body bag detail.

They're like a taxi driver, but with less respect.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

One wonders if Krystal's middle name is 'Methuselah'...

Tam said...

"I'm not surprised to see a lack of axles under the houses...

...all probably involved at some point or another in drugs/gang activity of some type.
"

Oh, there's a lot more overlap between those two than most people think.

Paladin said...

For any potential tourists to the Dallas area, the general area of town where this occured is called "Pleasant Grove".

The Grove is neither "Pleasant", nor very arboreal for that matter. Upon moving to The Grove, if you do not own a Pitbull you will be issued one by the City.

Mullets and neck tattoos are strictly optional, but are encouraged.

Anonymous said...

You guys are awful...

OK, with that out of the way:

Keep 'em coming!

skidmark said...

Great job by LawDog moving the scene of the crime to the Big City.

Seriously, who else gets involved with folks like these?

stay safe.

wv = isessity. I had to. It was an isessity.

jbrock said...

Who the hell names their daughter for a chain of famously cheap hamburger joints, and what does that say about their assumptions?