Monday, March 08, 2010

Overheard in the Office:

RX: "You're missing the Oscars!"

Me: "Not really, no."


And oddly, I am not burning with curiosity over who won Best Best Boy, either.

I don't get the fuss over these types of award ceremonies. I already know what I thought the best movies of last year were; what do I care what other people, people I don't even know, thought?

Besides, there's no award for "Most Machine Guns and Dead Nazis".

17 comments:

Nathan said...

Or "Best Use of Zombies".

Brian J. said...

Dunno about Best Boy, but I hear Joe Biden won Best Gaffer again.

Breda said...

the Oscars are about as respectable an award as the Nobel Peace Prize now anyway

TJIC said...

The canonical statement of this form is from the movie "Office Space".

Bob: "You've been missing a lot of work recently".

??: "I wouldn't say that I've been MISSING it, Bob".

phlegmfatale said...

Oscar's pipeline could do with a good dose of castor oil and the occasional rout-out of Soy Bomb type occurrences. What a drab wank-fest it has become. One hearkens to the halcyon days of witty presenters such as David Niven and the streaker event. I am tickled, in a way, that the star of Love Potion whatever-it-was took one of the damned things home, but it's all so formulaic. Just as Julia Roberts HAD to win for bringing Erin Brokovich "to life", if a glamour-puss movie star plays someone who actually lived (a mere mortal), then they are a shoo-in. Daniel Day-Lewis for My Left Foot. Sean Penn for playing flawed hero Harvey Milk. Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin. Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles.

Sandy B. was up against Julie & Julia star Meryl Streep, but everyone already knew Julia so well, no matter how spot-on the portrayal. Sandy B played a character was someone most academy and Hollywood voters would have looked down upon-- being Southern and all-- so they could feel good about her coming to the dark side and exercising their brand of liberal do-goodery in a committed way which would actually scare the living piss out of them. They could watch this movie and feel good about themselves for condescending to like her portrayal. The only way la Streep could have pulled it off is if Julia had been a one-armed suicidal Julia with a prosthetic nose which took hours to apply daily. Lordy, how they suffer for their craft.

I must say, though, that it would have been tasty to hear what the king of the world followed his previous performance with. He must be very sad panda now with no Oscar sweep and on the same weekend that Alice in Wonderland's horribly good weekend left Avatar's records all butt-hurt and all but forgotten.

Has that guy over at stickdeath done an Oscar thingie yet? He rilly should.

WV: curess - just in case you was curess, I sided to tell you all I thought about it.

Roberta X said...

"I hear Joe Biden won Best Gaffer again."

Gaffer, fluffer -- it's such a fine line.

Michael said...

I must be doing something right. As we watched the abomination last night, the announcer told us that Kristin Stewart and Taylor Lautner we coming on to do something (I wasn't paying much attention). The Young Master, who is 14 and thus a prime target market, looks up and says "No, thanks. I'm good." That's my boy!

T said...

Speaking of Dead Nazis, if you don't mind subtitles, check out Dead Snow. Nazi zombies!

og said...

"Gaffer, fluffer -- it's such a fine line."

ROBERTA!!!

Weer'd Beard said...

"I already know what I thought the best movies of last year were"

And I know that the academy has vastly different tastes than I do, so fuck them!

FYI I think Temple Grandin fucking rocked and Claire Danes really did an amazing job portraying her.

I think HBO really dropped the ball not attempting a Theatrical release on this one.

Then again I'm also the guy who watches about 5 films a week, and goes to the move theater maybe once a year...maybe. So the idea that a really good movie is going to be broadcast on TV, then released directly to DVD and side-stepping the bygone entertainment industry does appeal to me.

I mean if you have a wide-screen LCD set of decent size, a nice stereo system, what exactly does the local theater have to offer? (besides the whole IMax and 3D business which I think is an answer to my question)

Plus you can eat drink and smoke what you want while watching, and if the fine Bourbon Whiskey starts tugging on my bladder during Act III, I can hit the pause button and go to the Privy.

Also FYI I bought Zombie Land the day it came out in the stores, and the DVD only set me back $16. It cost more for the Mrs. and I to go see it in the theater than it will to watch the movie as damned many times as I want from now on.

Jason said...

As I was saying while gallivanting about online last night, I think we need instead of an Oscar for Best Grip, we need an Oscar for Mightiest Grip instead. Or even "Mightiest Film Crew As Proven In The Death Pits of Anaheim."

Anaheim does have Death Pits, right? Right off the freeway across from Disneyland?

jeff said...

x2 on Dead Snow. It's everything you want in a B-movie, plus Nazi's. Plus it's streaming on Netflix, which makes it even better for me.

Timmeehh said...

I stopped giving my money to hollweird a long time ago. I haven't seen any of the nominated movies.

300 was on the tube last night. What a difficult choice to make.

Damn, those Persians had fine lookin coats.

Where's Marv when ya need him?

Matt G said...

"the Oscars are about as respectable an award as the Nobel Peace Prize now anyway."

Oh, now that's a little harsh, Breda. I hear that the guy who won Best Audio really nailed it this year, and deserved the award.

Actually, this whole Comments section on this post is Made Of Snarky Win.

reflectoscope said...

Wossname, Waltz apparently won for best supporting actor; for that they have gained a very small whiff of credibility. That said I still didn't watch the show. For that matter I don't even have the TV hooked up.

Jim

Ross said...

I take it that the Oscars were awarded recently? I didn't notice.

Or care.

NCDave said...

Tam,
I'd much rather just read your blog!
NCDave