Friday, March 05, 2010

Protip: How to cut down on high-profile killings.

The gunman was John Patrick Bedell...
You know, we could cut this thing out altogether if we'd just pass a law banning middle names.

13 comments:

misbeHaven said...

There might be another, completely innocent and unconnected, John Bedell out there somewhere.

I vote we just give the scumbags numbers and refer to them that way.

Nathan said...

Or just change their middle names to "Scumbag".

Or "Hussein".

Anonymous said...

Without a middle name for our parents to use, how will kids know if we are in mild or really deep, run like the blazes, I'm dooOOOOoommmed trouble?

LittleRed1

Tam said...

Bobbi suggests that this is how society lets these people know that they're in Big Trouble: "Lee Harvey! How many times have I told you not to shoot little Johnny in the head! You wait 'til your father gets home!"

John Peddie (Toronto) said...

Coptalk, publicized in what passes for the English language in tabloid journalism of all levels.

Hypnagogue said...

"But Mom! Ricky Daley did it!"

Michael said...

Anyone remember the middle names of Hitler, Lennon, Stalin, or Mao.

Anonymous said...

John Patrick?

Should he be doing morning drive in Denver or somewhere?

Good, good morning, 72 on the outside, but is 99.3 hot rock on the inside with John Patrick. Yeah, baby, now it's Uriah Heep with Easy Livin' . . . *hits post*

Shootin' Buddy

Earl said...

William Earl Dungey

Call me Earl, unless you are calling to sell me something.

I knew high school girls, Beth and Betty, that grew into Elizabeths, and me I always signed all three names and answered to only one. No confusion with my grandfathers.

Lewis said...

Michael:

Russians don't use middle names, they have patronymics. Lenin's was Ilyich, Stalin's was Vissarionovich, because their father's names were Ilya and Vissarion.

Unless you meant Lennon, in which case, I don't know

Robert said...

I've noticed a preponderance of people with middle name "DeWayne" appearing in crime news articles.

Richard said...

I chortled.

Beaumont said...

Better yet: leftist parents will only be allowed to give their spawn socialist names. Thus, the Ilyiches and Adolfs can be watched closely for signs of imminent nuttery.