Monday, March 08, 2010

Secret Sharer...

I've had the weirdest little hit-and-run troll pop up in my comments section.

I don't get a lot of 'em, but this one's a doozy. Weirdly cyclical, too.

He's a pottymouth, so don't click if you're easily offended: My Pet Troll.

Ain't he cute?

41 comments:

Lewis said...

I'm reminded of a Kris Kristofferson song, for some reason----owed to John Prine.


'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Ed Foster said...

Wow! you guys really have people out there in the flat places who still talk/act/think like that?

Here in balmy New England it's almost impossible to find anyone over 12 and under 75 who goes to church for anything except Easter, Christmas, weddings, and funerals.

I think he's cute, in a foaming at the mouth sort of way. If we catch him, can I be the first to cut off a piece and feed it to the lions?

og said...

Damn, I'm upset. I thought I was your pet troll.

Tam said...

"Wow! you guys really have people out there in the flat places who still talk/act/think like that?"

I have no idea where he is. Not sure I care to.

Mike-ENDOtactical said...

You gotta pay the troll toll

fast richard said...

I've never seen anything like this guy in any church I've ever been to either. I'd hate to have to pay his tin-foil bill.

karrde said...

Cyclical...is he back after four years of absence, or just shows up every couple of months to get hisself deleted?

Tam said...

I haven't deleted any of them, actually.

Midwest Chick said...

Isn't he adorable?!? Just remember not to feed him after midnight, although it might be too late for that......

og said...

Isn't it always after midnight?

I'm never surprised by these folks, and it's also never a surprise that the worst of them are from some extreme fundamentalist calvinist sect of supposed Christianity- though any real Christian would slap these idiots silly. Wonder if it actually bookmarked the site, or if it has it written on a post it note on the mini-fridge in the basement?

Jason said...

After reading all of those comments, Tam, all I can say is this:

funny, you don't look Jewish!

It was that or "What's the Latin equivalent to 'oy gevalt' again?"

Anonymous said...

What the heck is that?

And the point of all that was . . . ?

I am so calling for the backstory on this.

Shootin' Buddy

Miguel said...

Attention CyberStalker:
Armed women make for dangerous victims.

Jim Sullivan said...

I think its a new intarwebz mutant that can circumvent word verification:

The Troll-Bot.

Its gotta be a program. Nobody, and I mean nobody is that stoopid.

Top of the Chain said...

Can I feed him please?!?!? CAN I!?!
CAN!?!

I promise I'll shun him and kick him and call him stoopid!

Anonymous said...

"EXPERIMENT CONCLUDED. THERE'S NOT A DIME'S WORTH OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE LIBERALS AND THE CONSERVATIVES."

So, he's a Libertarian--a Libertarian that has let his Wookie Suit go too far between cleanings.

"Wow! you guys really have people out there in the flat places who still talk/act/think like that?"

Where's this guy from then? Sounds like a Boston street preacher we used to hear on our way to the orange line.

Shootin' Buddy

Joanna said...

What with the whole Jewish/Christian thing goin' on there, I wonder how I'd fit into his weird little world? And you're awfully friendly to me, so that's another wrinkle ...

I love the sound of heads exploding in the morning.

Weer'd Beard said...

At least he's an amusing troll.

My trolls are WAYYYY boring ones.

Moriarty said...

Its gotta be a program. Nobody, and I mean nobody is that stoopid.

I vote bot... operating with minimal human supervision, cutting and pasting from a list of comments, scanning for replies and commenting repeatedly as sockpuppets. If I were going to try to spam up a group of blogs, that's what I'd do.

Hell, if I can think of it, someone out there is bored enough to write the code.

og said...

Most of these ijits are little more than wetware versions of Eliza. They fail the turning test from the word go.

WV: Taste. As god is my witness, that's actually what it is.

Lewis said...

og:

Turing?

DirtCrashr said...

Every four years he fire's up Mom's basement computer...I wonder, did he spent the between-time in jail?

Lewis said...

Shootin' Buddy:

Yeah, this troll's enthusiasm for unfettered liberty and individual responsibility is just self-evident, ain't it?

Boy howdy, you done convinced me. I'm-a be a good boy from now on and vote the way Cheney's daughter, and Dana "What's the Bay of Pigs again?" Perino tell me.

Wait, that could be construed as sexist, so I'll just vote the way John McCain tells me, in his responsible, grown-up, non-WookieSuited voice.

wv: "matur"---like mature, only, you know, not quite

og said...

Lewis: Yes, Turing, sorry, fingers far too fat. So easy, even a caveman can't do it.

D.W. Drang said...

He's a pottymouth, so don't click if you're easily offended
If "pottymouth" ever offended me, 20 years in the Army got me over it. Idjits insulting people I respect and admire--I hesitate to call folks I never met "friends", I never got the whole "pen pal" thing--does offend me. I'd call it out, but nit would be more fun to watch Tam deal with it in person...

Gewehr98 said...

Naw, he ain't dead yet. Even has a website to spew the vitriol:

http://deanberryministries.us/home.html

WV = "ovitize"

What H. Dean Berry's mom should've done before his conception...

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Oy!

Gewehr98 said...

Looks like he's still bitter about a conviction in Elko, NV. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, dude...

Anonymous said...

Pet Troll

You just can't go cold turkey from the happy pills the doctor gave you no matter what the voices in your head are saying.

RWC said...

Thanks for making my day Tam.

Dudes website is a hoot as well.

Tam said...

Lemme guess: His life sucks and it's all the fault of teh jooooz?

Michael said...

Wow. . . If America is Israel, aren't we all then the Jews?

reflectoscope said...

Good grief, all I've had to date is intelligent, topical comments.

But then you get in a slow hour what I've probably gotten to date, so it is at least partially a question of probability.

Jim

Ed Foster said...

The website is humorous, but only until the creep factor trickles in, about 30 seconds.

"We come from the Saxons, a people whose name means "Isaac's sons." Bunky, did you ever hear about a Bowie knife sized swordlet called a hand sax?

And if he hates the Jews so much, why is he trying to steal their mantle? Somehow being a "Saxon" makes him a better Jew than one of those false Jews.

Which is it, silly boy? Are you a Nordic superman from the snowy wastes, or a Semetic tribesman from the desert? Or do you even know who your Grandfather was?

Look, 80% or more of America's Jews live in big cities and vote Democrat. They never really did anything but move from one Stettl to another, and it makes most of them assholes, in my crude estimation.

Urban Irish Catholics serve in the military and police in wildly disproportionate numbers, and often vote Republican at the Federal level, at least for President, but they keep putting the same sorry liberal buttheads back in power at the local and usually congressional level, out of nothing more than tribal loyalty and nepotism.

That makes them assholes too, and I'm allowed to say it with an Irish passport and half my family in Galway.

Add in almost all the brainwashed big city immigrants who have gotten off the boat/plane in the last 60 to 80 years, and that makes for a whole lot of rectums that walk like men.

That is an unfortunate bit of culture, caused by the cultural isolation of our coastal cities from America, actually from the real world. They didn't leave the leftist message behind them, they brought it with them.

O.K., not the urban Irish, they're tunnel vision bronze age barbarian mercenaries, but they share in the take when the Tammaney Hall/Cook County politicos rake in the spoils, and the modern Democratic political machine was founded primarily on their cynicism Irish manipulation of Anglo-Saxon legal principles.

The late 19th and early 20th century Marxists, not only among Jews but Italians, Hungarians, just about any of the "Hyphenated Americans", were suborned by that same ruthless machine.

A machine which then spent the next half century swallowing up every angry, lazy, intellectually simplistic group from the I.W.W., Socialists, and Communists of the 1920's to the hippies of the sixties, and every kind of "activist" cretin that popped up afterwards.

But guess what, moron. It's culture that twisted them, not their religion. And the Rosenbergs were real, but so was Einstein.

And the Israelis, God bless them, a people I wish we would emulate, not only for intellect and common sense, but gallantry and decency to the often loathsome people they have for neighbors.

Read the OpEd pages of the New York Post before you smear all of America's Jews. Listen to Ben Stein tell stories about his family, always ending with a subtle moral that leaves you feeling a bit wiser, more of a grown-up afterward.

I went to school with Jews, in New York City and at the University of Hartford. I have two Jewish sisters-in-law, both impressive ladies.

Even the empty headed liberals are human beings, often with wit and kindness. Usually, on a personal level, because the Jews are an almost uniformly polite and gentle people.

In relation to their numbers, what other group on earth has won so many Nobel prizes?

Have you ever heard the word Mitzva? It means a good deed, generousity to the point of hurting. Done not for some reward in the afterlife, but for the simple pleasure of doing a good deed. Trust me, they're common.

I am aggravated to the point of frustration at the political closemindedness and enshrined paranoia of the majority of American Jews.

But if you see monsters, you're looking in the mirror. They've been through enough at the hands of mindless savages like you.

Leave them alone, you sick, twisted son of a bitch.

Baba55 said...

The ravings of the son of a syphilitic nun... perhaps?

Made me lol a bit (word ver = thelolom... perfect)

Standard Mischief said...

..I wonder, did he spent the between-time in jail?

ding! ding! ding!

Yes, I did dig up his court judgement a few years ago, and yes he was planning a stay in the big house. I don't remember exactly, but I don't think he was facing 4 year though.

Lemme guess: His life sucks and it's all the fault of teh jooooz?

Going by the rants of years past, I think he was blaming a lot of crap on teh Mormons.

I wonder whose wifi he's using nowadays?

Anonymous said...

Wow, "Just a bit high and outside" was a comment Bob Uker made in a movie but this gomer is real life weird and so far out there he might be sneaking in from behind.

And why are you suddenly Jewish? I must have missed the announcement in my latest issue of Jewish World Review...

Hopefully he's well known where he lives and is not terribly mobile. He's a sad little person trapped in a shallow senseless life.

Gmac

BobG said...

My spamblocker has been catching some character with the user name americaisisrael that sounds a lot like this character; wonder if it's the same asshole or just one of his butt buddies.

theirritablearchitect said...

Ed,

If we catch him, let's tie a string to him and beat him with a stick.

Lotsa fun.

DirtCrashr said...

Saxon was originally spelled Sachsen in German - so he's a braunschweig chewer or an Ostfriesier. I think he likes to do the Charlemagne in his twinkle-toe slippers.

Geodkyt said...

And yet, doesn;t anyone find teh irony in anti-Semetic (OK, anti-jewish) vitriol from a guy who is a self-proclaimed CHRISTIAN?!?

I guess that nice carpenter boy and his weird friends were all Buddhists before they went walkabout in Israel. . .