Tuesday, May 01, 2012

I've got bad news, Ambassador van Winkle...

Wow, how did I miss this column?

A little over a week and a half ago, apparently, some cat by the name of Dan Simpson launched another one of those ban-all-the-guns screeds that are so poignant and quaint because they're so out of touch with on-the-ground political realities. He goes on with the usual blatherskite and folderol of "too many guns" and "Stand Your Ground is a license to kill" and blood in the streets, yadda yadda.

He then veers into fantasyland about wanting hunters to have to keep their guns in central armories and people to have to apply for a one-year license to keep a single gun in the home for self defense, and all kinds of other fantasies. Hey, Dan, I want Kel-Tec P32s sold in blister packs at the checkout lane at WalMart, so I realize that it's good to have fantasies, but try and do like I do and keep them attainable, okay?

The part I kept coming back to was this, however:
The arms industry* is also pushing "concealed carry" and "open carry" laws in many states. It is going to be increasingly difficult to avoid such places as these laws become more widespread.
It seemed a little out of touch, until I noticed at the bottom of the page that Mr. Simpson is a "former U.S. ambassador". Ah! That explains that.

Well, Mr. Simpson, during the last twenty years while you were ambassadorin' on the far side of the moon and out of radio contact with planet Earth, we pretty much got the whole "concealed carry laws in many states" thing finished. There are a couple holdouts, but their day will come.

You're on the wrong side of history on this one, Dan; go sit on the ash heap.


*That's my favorite shibboleth of theirs: "The arms industry". In overall dollars, it's probably slightly ahead of the skateboard industry, but in sheer monetary terms, I'd bet it's dwarfed by Big Cookware.

39 comments:

Will said...

A perusal of his bio highlights:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_H._Simpson

does tend to explain his worldview on the subject. That, and his indoctrination at Yale (English Lit!), of course.

Braided Hemp said...

Headed the same place, Will. He has all those successes to look back on like Somalia, Bosnia and the Congo. Not to mention teaching at the Libyan Army Military College. I smell a commie rat.

RL said...

Big Cookware is next on the do gooderer chopping block.

Capitalist food pushers and merchants of obesity doncher know.

Nathan said...

They'll take my Caphalon out of my cold, dead hands.

SGB said...

This is my blender. There are many like it but this one is mine.

perlhaqr said...

Wow. What a sanctimonious prick.

"If someone mentions the second amendment, ask if they know what the other nine are"

Why, because you hate those rights too?

RWC said...

Who's Trayvon Walker?

Firehand said...

Here's a link to his previous recommendations for the peasants to be made safe:
http://www.freelibertywriters.com/bruce-krafft/2012/4/27/homer-simpsons-dumber-brother-is-back.html
which includes this:
“The disarmament process would begin after the initial three-month amnesty. Special squads of police would be formed and trained to carry out the work. Then, on a random basis to permit no advance warning, city blocks and stretches of suburban and rural areas would be cordoned off and searches carried out in every business, dwelling, and empty building. All firearms would be seized. The owners of weapons found in the searches would be prosecuted: $1,000 and one year in prison for each firearm.
So apparently he doesn't think much of that 4th Amendment crap, either; it gets in the way of his Stasi doing what he wants.

Brad K. said...

Please don't harass the good Ambassador Simpson (any relation to Bart Simpson? [http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/characters/poster] O.J. Simpson? [Well, at least O.J. didn't *shoot* anyone. That I know of.] *Mark* Simpson [English writer Mark Simpson, father of the metrosexual, the retrosexual and spawner of sporno. ... What do football and anal sex have in common?, http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2012/04/28/dont-you-have-a-poster-of-matthew-mcconaughey-in-your-room/], Bob Simpson? [http://www.crazytownblog.com/crazytown/2012/02/to-a-brilliant-irishman.html, "For those of you who haven't seen the film, here's a clip of David riding a motorcyle naked:"])

Remember Hillary C. has made the international treaty to disarm civilians one of her primary goals during her tenure as Secretary of State, and one of the reasons she colluded, er, helped foist, um, joined the US and Mexico Presidents in lamenting all those US weapons getting into the hands of the drug cartels, as Operation Gunwalker and the defection of Mexican Army soldiers with US-supplied military weapons was doing just that. At least, that is how I remember the charade. Anyway, disarming civilians is a treasured concept in the US State Department.

Sher Khan said...

And, as seems typical of such bureaucratic elitists, he presents his proposals in the "bureaucratic passive" voice, obscuring the question of WHO will do WHAT to WHOM.

Bram said...

Strange that a guy who spent his whole career guarded by armed Marines and State Department bodyguards would despise guns so much.

I followed Firehand's link - Holy crap. Besides the Second Amendment, Simpson obviously doesn't like the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Ninth, Tenth, and probably the Third Amendment.

What he is describing would spark a civil war instantly. Maybe we should let him try.

Anonymous said...

" Whats that, officer? Oh, you and your associates are here to 'collect' my arms, as per Amb. Simpson's orders? That's fine, just give me a moment, you see how disorganised the house is, you won't mind if I give you the ...AMMO FIRST!!". Ten min. or less, I'll be deseased, but hopefully with a few side-boys to escort me to Hell....the biggest problem the Branch Davidians had, besides that whole being on a Govt. hit list thingee is they didn't take enough F-troopers with 'em....

Anonymous said...

Anon - It wouldn't come to that. Once they cordon off a block, the good guys would surround that block and a not a gun grabber would get out alive.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Gee, I guess he still didn't get the Blood out of his Socks when over 60,000 NRA Members descended on Pittsburgh and proceeded to slaughter GAZILLIONS of people. Some people just carry a grudge, I guess.

Brad K. said...

@ Bram,

Strange that a guy who spent his whole career guarded", um, when you have been taught "this is the way it should be", and you have armed protection all around you, it must be simple to think that no one else needs a weapon, either. Except for their bodyguards.

@Anon 06:55 and 06:58

You are assuming that the roundup doesn't include a prepped national guard. The National Guard has been used to enforce curfews, evacuation orders, and riot control in the past. They have even been used to suppress dissidents (Kent State comes to mind) and laws barring people of one race or another from state schools, and other civil rights violations.

Then there are the No-Fly lists, the simple, "Oh, we cannot accept your payment for property taxes or utilities until we get your certificate of inspection that there are no firearms on the premises, and the Sheriff will be out to seize and sell the property by the time you get home! Have a nice day!" passive approaches. Or "Sorry, we cannot accept your children in our school/store/girl scouts/etc. since they come from a violent, gun-possessing family. Have a nice day!"

Obama has several times tried to interfere with civilian ammunition. Let enough neighbors run "dry" and the "surround" tactic starts to lose it's sting.

Besides, remember the ban on automatic weapons. It did wonders to increase the price of various collections. Where there is money to be made, "Keep your enemies close, and your friends closer".

Luck.

DirtCrashr said...

"Special squads of police would be formed and trained to carry out the work." "Work"? So says Mister Police-Statesman Ambassador to/from Hellitself. Unfortunately Police *special squads* in the benighted lands where he's been Ambassadoring are never un-trained and dismantled once they are set in motion but continue to ever-tighten the noose and become simple roving death-squads.

But Big Cookwear can clobber them upside the head with a hellacious three-ply frying pan of 10/18 stainless!

joe mama said...

I like the cut of your jib mister.

Goober said...

Who cares what this guy has to say? He is so far behind history on this thing he is practically walking stooped with a ridged brow and a club in one hand. He is meaningless. i think he knows that, and I think it drives him crazzy.

Kristopher said...

Both anons:

It won't happen that way. You would not be allowed to have your own personal little Alamo.

If your credit history shows lots of firearm related buys, you will be arrested at work or during a traffic stop, and the gestapo will turn your home inside out while you are not there to defend it.

If it gets that bad, you need to be thinking "safehouse", and not "Alamo".

You should not be driving a car with your name on it, you should not be at work, and your residence of record should be empty.

TomcatTCH said...

Kristopher,

Most won't be allowed their own alamo, but a few would be encouraged to happen for budgetary reasons.

It's easier to get more money when there's blood to dance in.

Kristopher said...

Disagree. The last one the BATFE tried was against a bunch of Jesus Freaks who were making money at gunshows.

Everyone knows how poorly that turned out.

I'd expect something closer to the CA model.

JFM said...

I also love 'Huge Monster Gun Industry' story. Smith & Wesson has been called the largest handgun maker in the world and they have, what?, 1500-2000 employees. My sister works for Boeing which has over 100,000 employees. Who do you think has more political clout?

Sigivald said...

Well, part of it is, I think, conflating "the arms industry" as in "makers of military equipment" with "the small-arms industry for civilian sales".

The latter is a joke, overall, like you say, in terms of money and influence. Used car dealers have more political clout (and I'm not kidding - check the donation records on OpenSecrets).

The former is a decent business - but the problem these guys have is that they don't realize that the two sectors are, in practical terms, completely separate.

(The few crossovers in both, like Colt, are chump change in the Defense Industry side of "Arms".

I suspect that every cent Colt's made in the past decade from sales and licensing to the Army is overshadowed by Lockheed-Martin's take from a few planes...

FN probably makes quite a bit more money, worldwide, but inconveniently for his thesis they barely sell to civilians, aren't American, and don't give a flying goddamn for gun rights.)

Boat Guy said...

I frankly hope this dweeb makes it a point to "...avoid such places..." since I work like hell to avoid the OTHER SUCH PLACES. We'll likely never meet.
He can continue to incite civil war through the Blade or other such "quality" publications.
Kristoph and others are giving .gov FAR too much credit/blame in their pogrom views; the good folk in and out of government and law enforcement FAR outnumber the Stasi.
We are everywhere...

ASM826 said...

So my cast iron dutch oven = flintlock? Can I get a C&R license for my grandmother's pots and pans? If I buy more than one pan at a time, does it get reported?

Ken said...

Jeez, another Calphalon fanboi. You people and your pseudo-Euroskillets. I roll old-school RevereWare (copper-clad, of course), all the way. ;-)

jetaz said...

Kristopher, I think you give the police too much credit.

If you look at the Jose Guerena shooting, the police believed that he was a heavy for a home invasion ring. And rather than stop him on the road, or at work, they busted into his house when they thought he would be asleep.

Now, I am willing to accept that the .gov's special anti-gun death squads would be more competent, but not a lot. All, and I do mean all, of the people I know personally, or that I know of, who would be competent to do such a thing are on our side, philosophically speaking.

Sher Khan said...

It appalls me to realize that Ambassador Simpson was a Commissioned Foreign Service Officer with the State Department, and presumably received State Department training related to U.S. Government issues prior to being commissioned. His demonstration, in writing, of his ignorance of Constitutional rights makes me wonder just how poorly he may have served U.S. interests as a diplomat abroad. The State Department is overdue for major reform of policies, personnel, procedures, and practices.

Joe in PNG said...

Thank God for men like Ambassador Simpson. It's hard out there, with all those shady toughs from the gun industry! I mean, I could hardly go out for a bag of skittles without some thug from S&W or Glock pushing a CCW on me- "Hey, kid- youse bedder getcherself onnadese carry permits if youse knows whads good fer youse!"
"But, mister..."
"Shaddup kid, an herse a Moddel Thirdysix youse kan has fer free".

Anonymous said...

The first one is always free...

Crawler said...

Call me naïve, but I quit being alarmed with the enemies of American freedoms, liberties and inherent rights like Simpson years ago.

Yes, low-lives like Simpson, who absolutely abhor the thought of an individual’s inherent right to keep and bear arms, will always be around and “talking the talk”, but they never get to the “walking the walk” part because of a huge impediment: The United States Constitution.

With the Founding Fathers’ and the Framer’s of America blessings, I’ll give a Mr. Simpson and his ilk a resounding, “SCREW YOU!”*

*[For the record, I’m just exercising one of my other inherent constitutional rights, Mr. Simpson…]

Bram said...

Brad K. - Take it from an old Guardsman (and former Marine), the Guard isn't going to collect guns. First of, they are too aware of the Constitution they took an oath to.

Second, they just aren't going to their own neighborhoods to collect their own weapons. More likely they would add some from the Armory to their personal collections.

Anonymous said...

Kristopher - If the cops where smart enough to do it that way, why do I hear about a screwed up no-knock raid on a weekly basis?

Kristopher said...

Anon:10:33:

They actually do do things the smart way ... really dangerous people are set up carefully.

Swat teams get used on criminals that they expect to roll over, for the most part. If real danger is involved cops get creative, like anyone else with half a brain.

An actual head to head fight is a damned rare event for SWAT.

This sort of thing is already happening in places like CA. They don't do door to door stuff. They just slowly attrit gun owners when they can be caught with their pants down and with evidence of a victim-disarmament crime.

If you think you are getting an Alamo, you are crazy. If you allow the politicians to pass confiscatory laws, expect the police to apply them in the manner that involves the least amount of personal risk possible.

Hoping for an incompetent raid is like hoping for lightning to strike. And then celebrating the fact that your corpse is now burning.

Which begs the question: Shouldn't we be fighting these laws politically while we still can?

Kristopher said...

Jetaz: If a competent and conscientious traffic cop runs your plate, and gets:"Detain immediately. Will probably be armed." ...

Guess what happens?

He lights up, you pull over, and while you are fishing for your license, he is pointing a pistol at you and ordering you to put your hands up where he can see them.

He has no clue you are wanted for a political crime. He just knows he is expected to arrest you and hold you for an outstanding arrest warrant.

Hope this helps, have a nice day.

Joseph said...

I once sent a satirical letter to a newspaper urging teapot registration and licensing. (The paper had reported that a businesswoman was able to repulse a robbery attempt by using a teapot.) I'm not sure I would snd it today; it might be used to support new regulations.

Wraith said...

Dear heavens, how can you be so insensitive? BIG COOKWARE BURNED MY STEAK!! Don't you understand, my dinner was RUINED!!

;)

aepilot_jim said...

That's exactly what Big Cookware wants you to believe....

Joseph said...

Another victim of Big Cookware.