Bummer of a super power, dude.

So the local gas utility is running a little TV commercial that starts out with the voice-over saying "This may look like a smoke detector, but it's a superhero..." and I thought to myself "Wow, that's a pretty lame super power. Can you imagine that interview at the Hall of Justice?"

Superman: "So, other than being able to transform into a smoke detector, you have no other super powers, Mister... um... Smoke Detector Man?"

Smoke Detector Man: "That's correct."

Batman: "Well, I'm sorry, but the Justice League of America doesn't have any smoke detector positions open at the moment. However, we'll keep your resume on file..."

Smoke Detector Man: *leaves, dejected*

Superman: "This is all your fault, Bruce. If you hadn't begged us to give your buddy 'Talks To Fishes Man' a job, nobody would think that we'd relaxed our entrance requirements so much! You used to have to be able to fly to work here, or at least own a plane. Thankfully we don't have to worry about Fishboy getting frisky while he's hitching rides in the invisible jet, because if he tried some sexual harassment at 30,000 feet, Diana'd braid his legs."

UPDATE: Roomie read this morning's post...

RX: "Are you making fun of Aquaman again? Isn't he, like, the prince of all the mer-people or something?"

Me: "You're thinking of Namor, the Sub-Mariner."

RX: "Probably the same guy playing both roles in disguise."

Me: "No, they're pretty easy to tell apart: Namor can breathe water, talk to fishes, fly, and bench-press Yankee Stadium. Aquaman can do all that stuff, too, except for the 'fly' and 'bench-press Yankee Stadium' parts, which renders him a good deal less useful."