Tuesday, July 02, 2013

When you're a Jet you're a Jet for the rest of your life

I was rooting around in some boxes in the attic yesterday that were still packed from the move, looking for some .357SIG Gold Dots I could swear I still have someplace, when I happened to stumble across this Whitewolf/Walter Brend #2 auto knife:
It just magically appeared...
What a fortunate coincidence, since HB1563 became law yesterday, a portion of which bill repealed Indiana's archaic ban on switchblade knives, a ban ostensibly instituted to keep gangs of swarthy Puerto Rican youth from breaking into finger-snapping choreographed song-and-dance numbers in the Blackboard Jungle back in the day.

Personally, like everything illegal in Indiana, I blame John Dillinger, who must have done all his robbing with short-barreled shotguns and switchblades, when he wasn't buying cold beer in grocery stores* and shopping for cars and booze on Sunday.


*Indiana's weirdest booze law. You can get Jack Daniels at CVS 24/6 (buying booze on Sunday makes the Baby Jesus cry, unless you do it at a bar) and you can get chilled white wine at the grocery store, but only bars and liquor stores can sell refrigerated beer. That's right: The beer at the grocery store is sitting out warm on the shelf right next to the cooler for the white wine. This made sense to a majority of the state legislature for reasons that have yet to be successfully explained to me. It must have something to do with "π=3".
.

40 comments:

LCB said...

Makes about as much sense as KY's dry counties. The moonshiners loved the dry counties...did a heck of a business. Not sure how many are still "dry"...but I remember my dad taking my grandpa (who lived in a dry county) to buy some shine...and being scared 1/2 to death. You don't mess with shiners...

Tam said...

LCB,

Having spent most of my life in Georgia and Tennessee, local option makes perfect sense to me. It's all what we're used to. ;)

(As a teenager in a state with a jillion tiny counties, it paid to know the liquor-selling hours of all the surrounding ones. "Dang, it's after midnight, which means they've stopped selling here in Fulton, but they sell 'til 3 in Cobb across the river...")

og said...

Since I'm not a drinker none of it makes sense to me- like how you have to buy beer at a "beer store" in Canada. Plus, if there's something I use enough of for whatever reason, I always stock up. The idea of "Running out" of something other than patience is fairly foreign to me.

Old NFO said...

LOL, yep plenty of weird laws on the books all over the place, and you're absolutely correct, 'knowing' where to buy was the most important thing growing up!!! (college was in a dry parish in LA, but the best stocked bar in three parishes was in the college president's house).

RevolverRob said...

They just removed the portion of Texas' law outlawing switchblades too. Doesn't go into effect until September 1, but heck it's nice. Even nicer, our switchblade law had rolled up into "gravity knives" and knives which opened through the "application of centrifugal force". Which means, not only are my automatics legal to carry, but so are my nefarious gravity knives, and most importantly (to me) my balisongs aka butterfly knives. My balisong collection is quite substantial, but I haven't bought any in a few years, because why buy something I can't carry?

Now I can! Excite!!!!!1111Elevnty

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Laws are about control. And the gummint getting a piece of the action.

Joel said...

Every time I encounter a strange liquor law like your "warm beer only in grocery stores," I suspect that if you were to track back the law's history it would always end up involving one bar owner buying one politician just to sell some cold beer, and accidentally starting a tradition.

leaddog said...

I grew up in a "Dry" township. The little wide spot in the road which was the only town in the township had a "Sportsman's Club" which being private, members only, had a bar. Dues were something like $1 a year and everyone's Dad was a member. Apparently that was cheaper than changing the law.

Paul said...

Sometime the laws protect business, sometimes they don't. Depends on the constituency.

I lived in a town out in Idaho that was 26 miles long and 1200 hundred feet wide. This had to do with an old liquor law that did not allow commercial sales of booze other than in an incorporated village. All the lodges fit in that corridor.

Law and order makes for some strange occurrences.

Anonymous said...

The dry laws in South Ga. were good or bad depending on which side of the Ga/Fl line you hang your hat...all the State Line package stores just south of the line loved (love?)it.

P.S. You moved yesterday? :)

Anonymous said...

Dang it, that was supposed to be a winky...;)

Critter said...

The booze laws are *fairly* consistent in Lower Alabama but with the odd twist here and there. I have to agree the laws in Tenn made my head hurt.

Scott J said...

I'm Southern Baptist and a quiet heretic because I just don't see alcohol as quite the evil the majority of my brethren do.

What's really amusing is that the temperance movement that brought us prohibition was a part of the larger progressive movement that promotes all sorts of things the Church finds abhorrent but it has no problem embracing that one particular plank.

The one that really makes me scratch my head is the virulent opposition to gambling.

Drinking I get from reading Ephesians 5:18 but I can find no similar admonishment against gambling.

Robert said...

When visiting Pennsylvania, we got so frustrated trying to buy booze we drove over to Maryland to get it.

LCB said...

Scott,
Raised mostly American Baptist...and I agree with you about drinking. The thing is...Jesus turned water in to wine for a wedding feast, which by tradition lasted 7 days. AND...the crowd complained about the good wine being served after they'd already drunk the cheap stuff. Not exactly an endorsement for tetotalling IMHO! :-)

So...serve us up some good ole KY bourbon!

Stretch said...

Lived in 'Bama in the late '50s.
Local sheriff had just been released from Federal Prison where he'd done time for bootlegging. Put his uniform back on and resumed duties of his office.
Dad was informed that the State Po-leese would set up alcohol check points outside the main gate the 2nd and 4th Fridays of the month to make sure no one brought their Class 6 (booze) purchases off post. There were no check points at the side gates.
The county commissioners who voted to keep Calhoun Co. dry owned or invested in the bars and package stores in neighboring counties.
The corner cemetery had a funeral every Friday and Saturday. Mourners gathered around the casket with others driving up to pay respects. Money would exchange hands and a bottle (jar?) was produced from the casket.

Anonymous said...

Looks like everybody skipped right over the blade and jumped right into the booze; odd considering the bent as to weaponry of most readers here.

It might have been said that machine knife was to inner-city PR's as machine guns were to the mob, but that was just to scare the white folks; it was really just a ruse to exert control. Then as now there were those who believed you just can't trust a regular Joe with Assault Guns and Assault Knives with shoulder things that go up and sticky things that go out.

rickn8or said...

Scott J and LCB, Apostate Southern Baptist here.

When in my yoot, I asked about the "water into wine" and I was told "Oh, but it doesn't say Jesus drank any and besides when the bible says "wine", it really means "grape juice."

So began my questioning of dogma.

Anonymous said...

Die Sprache Nazi ist jetzt befriedigt. ;)

Mike_C said...

Here in the land of the lockdown until recently it was illegal to sell alcohol on Sundays, because lachyrmosing Jesus and all, unless you were within X miles of the New Hampshire border. What with presumably godless Granite Staters* willing to sell alcohol on Sundays, god forbid this state lose any money to that state, and baby Jesus will just have to suck it up.

Now that's done away with, but grocery store chains can designate at most three locations to sell alcohol throughout all Massachusetts, ostensibly to "protect the little guy." So I misread pi=3 as n=3.

Re knives: Never owned a switchblade. Can get the thumb-stud knife open one handed quickly enough, so I never saw the need for one. Besides, I dance like a drunken stork with some nasty motor neuron disease.

*Admittedly NH would sell you demon rum through its state-owned stores, so not entirely a bastion of liberty on that end either.

Rob K said...

Not 24/6! IC 7.1-5-10-1 says no sales from 3AM to 7AM, and no sales on Christmas. And don't forget the cold cider you can buy in 6 packs at the gas station, right beside the warm cases of beer.

JohninMd.(too late?!??) said...

Perhaps it comes from the Legionairs gambling for His cloak after the Crusifixion...

JohninMd.(too late?!??) said...

Yeah, the ONLY THING Maryland has going for it; drive-thru liquor stores. Always surprised by out of state reactions to that. Like it seems weird that Jack Daniels is made in an area it can't be legally sold....

Goober said...

For sure. The only way this cold beer law makes any sense at all is if you look at it that way - some politically connected bar owner looking to squash the competition. They probably found some public safety related way to spin it, though, so at least on its face it will have some psuedo-legitimate purpose.

Scott J said...

That is the only New Testament reference I can find to it, JohninMd.

There are several Old Testament references to lot casting leading to evil but the OT was supposed to be set aside with the rending of the veil.

But there are many modern day Christians who want to pick and choose from it. When given grief for doing yard work or some other project between morning and evening services thus not respecting the "Lord's day" I want to say I'll keep a Sabbath as soon as they make their pilgrimage to Jerusalem for annual sacrifice.

TS said...

I live in the crappiest state in the union for gun laws, but California does have decent alcohol laws. A while back, I had ordered a bottle of wine at a restaurant in the mid-west and was pretty flabbergasted that they wouldn’t let me stick the cork back in the bottle and save the rest for later. No, no, you better drink all that before you drive home, or were going to pour out the rest of your $100 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. Though since then, “they” came up with a creative solution of a one-time sealable bag to put the whole bottle into that makes it count as a closed container (Loophole!!!).

Scott J said...

"So...serve us up some good ole KY bourbon!"

Bleh!

I prefer my whiskey charcoal mellowed Tennessee style or better still single malt from across the pond.

Pakkinpoppa said...

In Ohio-land, we can "own" switchblades (and batons, saps, billy clubs, gravity knives). They are merely illegal to "furnish, other than to law enforcement or other exempt individuals".

So...the Benchmade, the Bokers, and the two, replica German WW2 parachutist knifes, I found them in a box next to the road one day...

Was told if one was toting said blades, it was up to "Officer's Discretion" as to whether one got "cuffed and stuffed" or, if said item ended in their pocket and you ended up with "only" a warning to not do it again. Since, Ohio's "toter" license only extends to blasters, and not blades.

Secret code: 212 itchingA

I have nothing to add.

Anonymous said...

>Drinking I get from reading Ephesians 5:18 but I can find no similar admonishment against gambling.

It's cuz they played dice for the Shroud of Turin or something...

lelnet said...

It makes sense to them because the beer at the liquor store (as opposed to the grocery store) is in the refrigerator where it belongs. And this provides the owner of the liquor store with a competitive advantage. And so he and all the other liquor store owners gang up and give money to the members of the state legislature, to make sure they keep it that way. :)

Joe in PNG said...

For some reason, I'm reminded of the 'Two Baptist' Rule* for fishing trips and other social occasions...


*One Baptist will drink all your beer, while two Baptist won't touch a drop.

PoppaJ said...

In Oklahoma you can buy low alcohol beer and malt-based beverages cold in the grocery store but liquor, wine, and higher alcohol beer can only be sold in a liquor store. And the beer can't be refrigerated.

Thomas Smith said...

Damned fools, everybody knows Pi are round cake are square....

Anonymous said...

lelnet got it right.

Everyone thinks that strange liquor laws are all the dreamchildren of teatotaling church ladies.

I think at least half of them are on behalf of the liquor store owners association.

Alath
Carmel IN

markm said...

And if not the liquor store owners, then the bootleggers (in an unacknowledged conspiracy with the preachers, and the cops and judges that collect graft fromthe bootleggers).

PoppaJ: What are OK's current laws about drinks by the glass? When I was there in the early 80's, "alcoholic beverages" could not be sold by the drink, but with two gaping exceptions:

1) Private clubs. Pay a $1 fee and write your name on a card, and you're a member. Think of them as bars with a bouncer guarding the door. But I think the law did effectively discourage decent restaurants from selling wine or good beer with your dinner.

2) Beer watered down to 3.2% alcohol wasn't an "alcoholic beverage" under the law. Almost every non-chain burger joint would sell it, and I don't think did diddly-squat to reduce drunkeness. The drunks just had to pee very often. And IMO you had to be drunk to like that stuff.

David said...

Many years ago I was stuck in Tennessee with a broken truck. After a hard, long, hot day of work the 19 year old kid and I finally got it working. We went back to the little roadside motel we were staying at to get some sleep before hitting the road. We were looking for food on our way there but everything was closed. When we got to the motel we asked the manager about food. He said he had a couple frozen pizzas he would cook and sell us since everything else in town was closed. We agreed then asked him if he also had any cold beer. He told us that this was a dry county on the weekends and there was no way we were going to get beer or anything else on a Saturday night regardless of how much we were willing to pay.

We were sitting by the pool watching the occasional car drive by while waiting for our pizza. The kid with me told me he was going for a short walk. After a bit, the pizza showed up, and I was working on my second piece when the kid walks comes back up the sidewalk and sits down. He reaches into the brown paper sack he was carrying and hands me an ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon. Then pops the top on one of his own and grabs a piece of pizza.

He never would admit where he got the beer or how much it cost.

All I know is that if I ever get stranded again, I'm putting that kid charge of scrounging...

Matthew said...

The KnifeRights guy has been going gangbusters on his "Second Front for the Second Amendment." I'd visit his page and consider becoming a member for them what ain't yet.

He has been successfully pushing model switchblade and preemption legislation nationwide and working on holding the line against add'l nanny knife laws in the bad states.

Here in Alaska we finally got knife preemption in statute and decriminalization of switchblades and gravity knives this year: goes into effect Sept. 18 if I'm counting correctly.

Justthisguy said...

When it comes to Midwestern bandit weapons, I wonder what became of Bonnie Parker's BAR. I want it, almost as much as I want a P-38 pistol provably carried by Dr. Hans Asperger. "Eat Aspie lead, you social-monkey neurotypical!"

Justthisguy said...

P.s. I would also like to own the M-14 carried by Jimi Hendrix when he was an Airborne sojer.

Hey, cool weapons with cool provenance are cool! I mind the story of the umbrella bucket at the front door of the President's House at Washington College when Lee was president. There were umbrellas, and also some interesting swords, among them one given to George Washington by Frederick the Great.

There was also a cat house in the back yard. No, not that kind. The Lees were cat people.

lelnet said...

Justthisguy @10:48 wins teh internetz FOREVER! :)