Thursday, August 01, 2013

Confirmed, I have eyes on Bambi. Execute! Execute! Execute!

So, you're not supposed to keep wild animals as pets in most states, especially game animals. So what happens when you take a fawn home with you?
[T]hankfully, this evil criminal conspiracy was stopped in its tracks. Thanks to brave government employees, aerial photos were taken, surveillance was performed, a SWAT team was assembled, and then nine agents of the Department of Natural Resources and four deputies "all armed to the teeth", raided the no-kill animal shelter.
Okay, let's just for the sake of argument take as a given that the folks at the St. Hippie No-Kill God Loves All His Creatures Shelter were entirely in the wrong and the critter cops were just following established protocol by putting the animal down: Is there a reason this had to be done like it was a reenactment of the raid on the Bin Laden compound, rather than by a single guy in a Ranger Rick outfit with a clipboard and a Ruger .22?

I sure am glad they have all the real criminals rounded up in Wisconsin so that they have to resort to this kind of busy-work in order to avoid laying off cops.


As a completely parenthetical aside:

Personally, when I'm Empress of the Universe, critters on your land are your critters unless they've actually been bought and paid for by somebody else.

I am not, however, the only monkey in this particular cage and the rest of the monkeys seem to have taken it into their heads that wild animals wandering around loose belong to all of us in some amorphous collective sense (unless one's eating your crops, in which case you're generally free to kill it, just not capture it and keep it as a pet.)

35 comments:

Cincinnatus said...

Hear hear.

This is a prime example of the ridiculous nature that police work has become. Huge teams of overarmed people to do what not a decade or two ago would be done by one guy with nary a shred of tactical "gear".

Anonymous said...

Because wild animals are as dangerous as crack, they say.

"If a sheriff's department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up," Niemeyer said...

Yeah, it's just a fawn this time. But what's next? Pretty soon, they'll be keeping pythons and elephants. And before you know it, they'll be trafficking in human slaves or something. And besides, what are you? Some kind of anti-government anarchist or something? You must have something to hide.

Hey, at least they didn't shoot the family pet this time. Oh, wait...

jf

Captain Pastetaster said...

why do you keep linking to pooshat? he is v. womanish and unprofessional. i tried to post a perfectly polite explanation about his statistical likelihood of molesting asiatics and he changed my comments to things about eating paste, which i do not do except for religious or philosophical reasons. I would write more but it is time for one of the other residents to use the party line and my hayes 300 is heating up something fiercely. THANKS OBAMA!

Jess said...

Wild animals ARE dangerous, but they're not so dangerous you have to put a doughnut shop out of business while rounding them up.

...and no. I'm not deriding the good law enforcement officers in our great land. I am deriding the stupid followers that waste resources, while blindly following the directions of bureaucratic asses that are completely useless, except as target practice.

The Jack said...

JF I noted that too.

When the DNR supervisor says "This is just like the War on Drugs" in *defense* of SWATing up to gun down Bambi you know that the cops (including the critter cops and the fish police) see the populace as the enemy.

Even the friendly folk at the St. Hippie No-Kill God Loves All His Creatures Shelter

Anonymous said...

If they could only allocate as many resources rounding up the felonious illegal aliens.

But that would be wrong.

William Foley said...

What happened to the days of "One problem, one Ranger"?

Tam said...

William Foley,

"What happened to the days of "One problem, one Ranger"?"

Now it's "One fawn, one fire team".

Anonymous said...

Jess, the problem is, even if the LEO's are good, well-intentioned guys who just want to do the right thing, they can still do evil things, thinking they're the good guys the whole time. TJIC's experiences are a case in point.

Those "good" guys don't see things from our perspective, ie, downrange.

jf

Drang said...

I could almost see the "Well, wild animals belong in the wild, and it might have diseases" argument, but... A raid? With 13 officers? Killing Giggles the Fawn, without testing?

Don said...

Am I supposed to be able to understand what Captain PasteTaster wrote?
'Cause I don't.

In other news:
[i]"If a sheriff's department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up," Niemeyer said...[/i]

I've seen this before! This is what the spokes-guy says right before he tells a story about the time a vicious family of deer-heads flushed a yearling doe down the toilet just as the cops were about to catch 'em red-handed!

Ken said...

A raid? With 13 officers? Killing Giggles the Fawn, without testing?

Pour encourager les autres,
one supposes.

Tam said...

Don,

Don't worry, it's pretty meta. ;)

fast richard said...

I blame the pernicious influence of Chicago. I consider everything out to Milwaukee and Madison to be Chicago suburbs and hopelessly infected.

Goober said...

Pastetaster- what you did is suggest that he was likely to molest his children because they are adopted. You are not the white hat in this escapade, pal. Get over it.

Skip said...

Musta been a slow night.

rickn8or said...

"It's our policy" = "I vas chust vollowing oah-das"

TJIC said...

> it's "One fawn, one fire team".

LOL!

Ancient Woodsman said...

This simply proves that all the anti-gun shills who have been spouting, "You don't need an assault weapon or a 30-round magazine to hunt deer!" have been lying through their teeth.

Apparently, if you are among the "right people" you need not only a 30-round magazine but a dozen friends with 'assault weapons' to get even one deer, and a very small one at that.

Tam said...

Ancient Woodsman,

LOL! Wish I'd thought of that one. :D

billf said...

I guess the "wild animals as domestic" thing goes state by state.In Texas,they import wild animals,keep them on farms,and charge rich guys from up north to come down and shoot 'em.They don't even care what caliber or magazine size you use.No need to call the cops.

Anonymous said...

Ranger 6 to Control: We have a baby raccoon being held at 2600 Tapeworm Road.
Requesting Arc-Light Danger Close!

Gerry

Ruth said...

Talking with someone who does wildlife rescue, apparently there are legal issues with deer, specific to Chronic Wasting Disease, and transfering them over state lines.....which doesn't excuse the stupidity of a swat team to kill bambi and terrorize the shelter workers.

I bet it would have cost them a shitload less to have just sent over someone to confirm that the deer was there, and what was going to happen to it, and "hey, sending it out of state is actually illegal, here's a list of wild-life rehabbers in the state, lets see if we can find one who can take the fawn instead?"....

Anonymous said...

But then, what would they use that shiny new Bearcat and all those machineguns they've got? You don't want them collecting dust, do you?

jf

Chas S. Clifton said...

I agree with you on the heavy-handedness, but I would not junk the North American Model of wildlife management to regress to a European-style management model where the rich landowner also owns the game.

Notice how much more we have in comparison with them.

Anonymous said...

In law school property classes you still learn the different ways of acquiring property: making something, buying something, etc. One that is still on the list, but that my professors told us to ignore, is capture.

Oh for the days when we still took that one seriously and Teddy Roosavelt had his White House menagerie.

Joat said...

I have to question why anyone wants to save a white tail deer? It's not like we are running out of them.

Critter said...

It seems to me that we're only getting one side of the story. Tho that seems to be enough to bring out the police hate.

Tam said...

Critter,

Two facts are not in dispute:

1) Nine DNR agents and four sheriff's deputies were dispatched...

2)...and arrived without warning to shoot a deer. A baby deer.

Now, the woman running the shelter is a looney tune and has been tangled up with the local .gov before. Perhaps they did not call ahead and let her know they were sending out Ranger Rick with a .22 because they were afraid she'd alert the media and it would turn into a PR circus.

How'd that plan work out?

Show me the "cop hate" in my post. Copy and paste it right here.

Critter said...

I was refering to some of the responses. I like your blog but I think we might do well with more information on this issue. There may have been a good reason for 9 officers to show up, but all we have at present is speculation. There are, at minimum, 3 sides to any story and so far all we have is 1.

tmc said...

> There may have been a good reason for 9 officers to show up, but all we have at present is speculation.

If you stare at that long enough, it develops its own sound effects.

Justthisguy said...

I see that shithat, or a parody of him, has shown up again. He seems to have some kind of strange homo crush on me, or something. I have left him alone since we got crossways, but he seems to have a bug like a big lobster up his ass about me, and can't stop thinking about me.

Owhell, what can you do about somebody who is both a lawyer and a Californian? Their brains just don't work right.

Justthisguy said...

P.s. I do hope that's a parody. Not even shithat would write something that lame and silly. I hope.

Justthisguy said...

P.p.s. As a matter of fact, I was Dennis Hayes's first employee, and yes he is a dick, or at least he followed his dick wherever it wanted to go. Melita took him for the hugest divorce settlement in the history of the State of Georgia, and all of us who knew Dennis agreed that she was quite justified in doing so.

My current modem is a (dial-up) 56k thing from vmodem. Yah, I'm poor; I'm on dial-up. Shithat, being a wealthy connected rentier, obviously has contempt for us poor people.

Justthisguy said...

Goober, I was actually trying to praise that shit-headed Kalifornia lawyer (but that's a pleonasm) for having the courage and Christian charity to do a non-kin adoption, as my very own landlord, a guy I kinda like, has done. I have met my landlord's adopted kids, and they seem to be growing up right well. Good kids, they are.

Methinks Shithat might protest too much?

He declared war on me when he changed my reasonable charitable words in my comment to "I eat paste." I was prepared to leave Shithat alone, as I wrote above, but some of you people, whose brains are obviously broken, or maybe not properly formed in the first place, seem to have taken up his silly lame cause, that is, picking on me, a nobody, on the Internet. Don't you people have anything better to do?