Friday, April 06, 2007

Blog Stuff: Some recent thoughts...

1) I will know that I am really cool when I get to carry an M4 carbine everywhere, like the grocery store & the mall, and I have a guy whose full-time job is to do nothing but follow me around all day with a boom box playing the "Imperial March" from Star Wars. Then, then I will truly be cool.

2) While the idea of Valhalla is groovy, what with the "warring all day and partying all night" aspect and all, I think an even better afterlife would be one where you spend eternity hot-lapping the Nürburgring in a Porsche 911 Turbo, while swilling Ruination from the bottle and shooting out the window at road signs with an MP5. Also, Chuck Schumer is wearing a little janitor's outfit like the mascot from Cracked, sweeping up busted bottles and spent brass on the side of the track. That would be a totally awesome final reward. I need to get to work on whipping up a sect where this is the payoff.

18 comments:

NeoNietzsche said...

1) Make mine a Kel-Tec RFB (if and when) and a performance of "Smoking Gun" by Robert Cray. I'll be pumped.

2) Check out the video (on the Pagani site) of the Zonda ripping past on the straight at the Ring -> M-B V-12 screaming its lungs out.

Orgasmic!!!

NeoNietzsche said...

And "shooting out the window at road signs" with the delayed-blowback accuracy afforded by an MP5 reminds me of this controversial passage:

"Here there is one thing we will be the last to deny: the man who knows these 'good men' only as enemies, knows them as nothing but evil enemies, and the same men who are so strongly bound by custom, honour, habit, thankfulness, even more by mutual suspicion and jealousy inter pares and who, by contrast, demonstrate in relation to each other such resourceful consideration, self-control, refinement, loyalty, pride, and friendship—these men, once outside where the strange world, the foreign, begins, are not much better than beasts of prey turned loose. There they enjoy freedom from all social constraints. In the wilderness they make up for the tension which a long fenced-in confinement within the peace of the community brings about. They go back to the innocent consciousness of a wild beast of prey, as joyful monsters, who perhaps walk away from a dreadful sequence of murder, arson, rape, and torture with exhilaration and spiritual equilibrium, as if they had merely pulled off a student prank, convinced that the poets now have something more to sing about and praise for a long time to come."

Michael said...

"I need to get to work on whipping up a sect where this is the payoff."

Count me in!

Anonymous said...

All hail the High-Priestess Tam!

Brass

NeoNietzsche said...

I suspect that Tamara of the Amazons will do double-duty as Sergeant-at-Arms.

Anonymous said...

Nürburgring? Porsche? Ruination? MP5? What the hell happened to a county road, a chevy pickup, PBR and a shotgun? Damn, such a gentrified afterlife. I can still get biscuits and gravy with a slab of country ham, right?

NeoNietzsche said...

"I can still get biscuits and gravy with a slab of country ham, right?"

In which case you have not merely to join her sect, but to die in battle on its behalf.

Ambulance Driver said...

You already have a few thousand loyal Tamarists ready to go.

NeoNietzsche said...

Where?

Granted said...

Oh hell, what flavor of kool-aid do we get with this cult 'cause if that's heaven, then I want mine now.

No PBR. We can substitute the truck for Porshe ('cause the track's going to get old sometimes) but that Ruination stuff looks better than Victory Hop Devil.

comatus said...

A.D.: "It’s a very select Society, an’ you’ve got to be a Janeite in your ’eart, or you won’t have any success." --Kipling

neonietzsche: That quote could be either Tacitus, or a Mallorca travel guide...

Warriors in the Great Beyond are miraculously restored after each day's battle; couldn't those road signs grow back harmlessly, too?

Put me down (Col.Mustard in the garden, with the Webley) for the Kurtis 500S on the Watkins Glen old course, Bulleit Frontier and a Thompson Persuader.

The by-and-by...sweeeet.

NeoNietzsche said...

Tell us about travel guides in Mallorca. What murder and mayhem abound?

BobG said...

I want to know about the beer and the valkyries...

Anonymous said...

Isn't there already a Church of John Moses Browning, where one of the religious requirements is you must carry a sidearm of his design at almost all times?

You can see where that's leading , right?

B&N said...

Man, this post sounds almost like my last vacation.

James said...

I'm not much of a joiner, but sign me up!

Old Blind Dog said...

I'm in!

Joe said...

I'm in too!

I always wanted to put on a Viking helmut and pillage the neighborhood!

Joe R.