Monday, April 30, 2007

I have a new favorite Weekly World News headline...

The reigning champ for the last twenty years has been UFO Aliens Rape Nun, Baby Lives To Speak Intergalactic Language.

It has finally been unseated by Redneck Vampire Terrorizes Trailer Park (sure to strike a chord with the paper's target demographic), complete with a photo of the bucolic undead horror.


triticale said...

Vampires usually leave just a trickle of red on their victims necks.

pax said...

Really? My favorite has always been Hillary Has Sex with Aliens! ("I thought she was gay," says bewildered President")

Paul said...

And you didn't even post a picture?

Some_Jerk said...

The Weekly World News.

It's like The Onion for poor people.

BryanP said...

I'm going to have to dig out my CD of Michael Longcor's "Truck Driving Vampire" in honor of this.

Oh I'm a truck drivin' vampire,
I only drive by night.
A truck drivin' vampire,
undead but not uptight
I'm a good'ol nosferatu
and an 18-wheelin' stud
Wearing white socks,
drinking Blue Ribbon,
and redneck blood

Anonymous said...

Only slightly OT, as Tam enjoys reading: Christopher Moore's "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove." Lured from the sea, "Steve" becomes a hungry - and aroused - single-wide in a small town with lots of drugs and an ex-queen of the desert movie star.
Moore takes on vampires in a couple of his other books.

Anonymous said...

You people laugh. But unless you've lived the horror of the redneck vampire, don't mock.

Had the tornado not hit the trailer park and carried off the VW camper van the master was sleeping under, we might have all been turned. It looked like Larry the Cable Guy. As it was, we had to take some our own out with a combination of MASTERPIECE THEATER re-runs and National Public Radio's ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, played at top volume. The cure was almost worse than the plague, since Bubba Mac and Bobbie Sue started talking about voting Democrat and wearing Birkenstocks.

The horror is gone now, but the scars remain.

Cybrludite said...

Sounds like the Weekly World News has been cribbing from Andrew Cox

Anonymous said...

I think my favorite Weekly World News headline was something along the lines of "Albert Einstein's Brain Escapes from Lab --- and Goes on Rampage!!"