Sunday, April 15, 2007

It's not finking if I don't name names...


Tam: "Hello?"

Friend whose name is being withheld to protect his dignity: "Hey, have you guys left the house yet?"

T: "No, why?"

F: "Well, I just cornered a big raccoon on the porch, and it's acting a little aggressive, and I went inside to get my .22 pistol, and I can't find any .22 ammunition anywhere..."

T: "Your signal's breaking up; I could swear I just thought I heard you say you don't have any .22 ammunition."

F: "Hey, the house is still a wreck from moving. Could you just swing some by on the way to the restaurant?"

T: "Sure. Actually I just happen to have a box... in my purse."

Kaylee: "I've got a box in my glove compartment, I think."

F: "What'd she say?"

T: "She said she had a box in her glove compartment. I think we've got you covered. Okay, we're on the way."


Anonymous said...

So did you get the kill?

And why did your buddy not have any .22LR?

Its just plain Un-American.

TBeck said...

Oooh. I see a new thread coming from this: What's the Best Handgun for Raccoon Country?

S&W can develop a brand new revolver for their proprietary .577 Varmint cartridge and sell the entire ensemble in a neon green, waterproof box along with a road flare and matches (for marking the kill).

Seriously, a friend will come get you out of jail, but a true friend will come shoot whatever it is that goes BUMP under the porch.

Kristopher said...

If you run out of ammo, you should use the bayonet.

Bob said...

A TRUE friend will also go under and drag it out after shooting it under the porch.

jrshirley said...

Kaylee going to be around when I make it back in a couple of months? I'd love to see her before she leaves for The Last American Wilderness.

B&N said...

.22lr on the 'coons around these parts will just piss them off!

You need something in the .357 range to kill a rabid animal that's 35 pounds.


T said...


Aim better. Head shots with a .22 are effective on raccoons no matter what the size.

B&N said...


Aim has nothing to do with it.

Experience is a bitch of a teacher. It's a long and uninteresting story, and parallels the one Tam was describing. Almost the exact same thing happened to a friend several years ago, you see, and a .22 was all he had. After a whole clip, he called me up for more firepower, as he was sure that that was the cure that was needed.

For all it's worth, I was trying to be funny, although serious at the same time.

Matt G said...

To think that I was ashamed when, 13 years ago, I couldn't find the CCI .22 shotshells while staying at Dad's and saw a rodent. We had a few hundred .22 LR rounds, but no shotshells that I could find quickly for the kit gun. Ended up using a short.

Now, right handy at the house, are: .22 LR hypervelocity, High-velocity, Standard Velocity, Target, Target Handgun, and SubSonic, .22 Shorts (HV), .22 CB Longs and .22 CB Caps, Aguila (basically .22 CB Longs), and a couple of honest-to-Gawd BB Caps that I stole from Dad's gun room. (Copper cases that are really just rimmed percussion caps, with a .22 caliber lead BB pressed in.) And both .22 shotshells with the plastic shells, and with the crimped mouth.

I doubt that I've even got 150 rounds rolling around in my trunk. (I can NEVER take that car to Mexico-- I'd never be able to find all the ammo.)

It occured to me the other day that I had 5 kinds of ammo on my person while at work.

Zendo Deb said...

.22LR ... don't leave home without it

TBeck said...

I rented a Five-seveN (or however they spell it) yesterday. Neat concept, I think. Actually, I'm not really sure what the concept is. Very little, very expensive bullets going very fast.

But no question that the pistol would do a number on any raccoon confused about its place in the food chain. Even if the bullet missed the muzzle flash would incinerate the beast.