Monday, April 02, 2007

Never has so little been said with so many words.

You know it's a slow news day when an AP reporter is paid to write the following copy:
NEW YORK (AP) -- Teen starlet Hilary Duff claims she's never had a problem with her weight, but feels pressure to be thin.

The 19-year-old actress and singer told People Magazine that she's either perceived as too fat or too thin in the media, which she says can be "judgmental and mean."
Amazing. Four more complete paragraphs follow, yet the piece manages to remain semantically null; a perfect, content-free void.

I'm going to work on developing that talent myself...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's called zen. To remove all thought from your consciousness. Monks spend their entire lives in the pursuit of complete emptiness of the head. Somebody should tell them all it takes is to become an AP reporter.

BobG said...

"Amazing. Four more complete paragraphs follow, yet the piece manages to remain semantically null; a perfect, content-free void.

I'm going to work on developing that talent myself..."

Isn't that what lobotomies are for?

Anonymous said...

That sucks even for that class of article, usually the topic is information no sane person would give a crap about, but there usually is data, not here

Anonymous said...

I really honestly can't make myself give a damn if Hillary has a big Duff or not.

Honestly, this whole "child-star grows up and gets smacked down by the media" thing is so old. Most of these so-called stars aren't even particularly interesting. Even when they're doing like Twitney and her crew, running around partying it up and showing off skin, I just don't give a damn.

And yes, that was a vapid excuse for an article. Seriously, if that girl is so worried about the media's opinion of her, then why the hell is she in the spotlight?

phlegmfatale said...
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phlegmfatale said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
phlegmfatale said...

I'm wondering if this is the same "no pressure" Hillary Duff felt to cover up her naturally perfect teeth with the equine Martha-Raye-channeling chompers she had installed on her grille. Sad.

This is the type of stuff that reminds us that "amuse"- originally from Latin- meant "to not think." Well, there you go. Pop culture is not thinking itself to death. Or it would, finally, if it didn't keep puking itself up and re-ingesting. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Justin said...

"The 19-year-old actress and singer told People Magazine that she's either perceived as too fat or too thin in the media, which she says can be "judgmental and mean."


Evidently somebody's in a snit over what The Superficial has to say about her.