Thursday, July 24, 2008

Because it made me chuckle again...

A fake gun board thread rerun:
Newbie1: "What do you guys think of the BlastOMatic 2000?"

Tamara: "Well, the design seems like a good idea, but we've stopped stocking them after having to send eight of the last ten we sold back for warranty work. I'd recommend against buying one, or at least waiting to see if the pending recall solves the problems."

DeAtH aNgEl 007: "Dude, my older brother has one and they ROCK!"

RONIN DragonClaw: "I used one when I was in Force Recon. They issue them to all SOCOM units, but you'll never read about it in the press because it's Black Ops."

Old Cuss: "Heay newbie1! Come over to Blastomatic fan forums! Its' my new EZboard sight!"

DeAtH aNgEl 007: "Dude, all the clerks at my gun store are so stupid! They didn't even kno that BlastOMatic was coming out with a version of the 2000 in 9x25 Dillon! There's been a thread up about that at BlastOMatic Fan Forums for two days now! God! When are they going to hire somebody who knows anything!"

Newbie1: "So, y'all think it's a pretty good gun then? 'Cause I read your posts and ordered one."

Tamara: "Screw this."


C'mon. Raise your hand if you've been in one of those threads. (Unless you're the fake SpecOps guy whose unit carried Desert Eagles because they were secret squirrels and could pick anything they wanted. If you're that guy, I don't want to hear about it, and you need to stop being that guy.)

29 comments:

George said...

"...and you need to stop being that guy."

Priceless.

OA said...

There was a thread on THR about how you can't kill a hog with a 12 gauge shooting slugs (flatten out and bounce off, don't'cha know). Could have just used that.

Anonymous said...

Blastomatic 2000? How gauche. Here it is 2008 and they don't have a new model out yet?

DirtCrashr said...

I stay away from those forums and threads!

BillH said...

so, I guess you're gonna tell me that new super sekrit handload I just read about on the tac board, with the mixture of Bullseye, Varget, and a touch of TrailBoss (shaken, not stirred) is probably not going to get me the .310 MOA results they said it would?

Damn. They sounded so smart...

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

The Navy ISSUED my Team those Desert Eagles. We'd have rather used the Blastomatics because at least THOSE fire under water deeper than 10 fathoms.

Justin Buist said...

OP: "Hey guys, my local shop has a used Baby Eagle for $250. Is that a decent price? Is there anything I should look out for?"

fanboi: "lol u shood get a glock"

fanboi's moronic cousin: "yeah glock is the best pistol ever."

their dad: "After I bought an M&P I sold all of my Glocks. I really like the M&P a lot more because of its grip safety."

Gullyborg said...

Reminds me of a visit to a gun store in Sacramento about 17 years or so ago when one of the other customers in the store was a punk kid about 18 or so, in fatigues, asking the clerk for a really accurate sniper rifle - and it had to be really good, because he is in Force Recon (or maybe he said he was a Marine Sniper - it was a long time ago), and his life could be on the line if the rifle failed him "in the shit."

I believe the clerk sold him an M1A. I would have sent him packing, but he had cash...

jason said...

i was on a game forum where someone was pretending to be a Marine and i called him on it. he was getting simple things wrong and could offer no specific details (part of his reason was he was in a high speed unit--if that were true he wouldn't have much time for videogames). and i know the locations of the two Marine SOI's aren't classified.

Steve Skubinna said...

Barnett crossbows. That's what all the teams use. No muzzle flash, no bang.

Of course I'm not allowed to talk about it, so you never heard it from me.

Standard Mischief said...

So if google-fu is the ability to use Google with zen like prowess, what's the corresponding skill (excuse me, I mean mad skillz) for speed reading your way through the useless idiots and the chatter from the peanut gallery?

Part BS detector, part speed reader(to wade through that awful signal to noise ratio), part "plonk"-ology (and you won't grok that term unless you know usenet), and part not having fallen off the turnip truck yesterday (hint: it's very hard to measure AC power accurately but I think you just need stronger magnets :-).(Oh and the sooper secret powder that you can mix with water to make fuel is called calcium carbide. Dawn of the 20th century tech)(Oh, and too much of the homebrew colloidal silver of unknown strength quite possibly might turn your skin blue).

bob said...

There is a forum that sports the name of a common service carbine that I used to read until I realized it was driving up my blood pressure.

Stingray said...

I stay away from those forums because that burning powder to send a slug down range via the high pressure powder-smoke is so thousand years ago. The sidearms they issue the security guards at Los Alamos National Labs are the real high speed low drag solution - the speed of light!

Oh hell, I've said too much. I was never here! My ops are blacker than your ops, New Jovian Thunderbolt!

(Word verification yxhtnqh - who the hell leaked the damn code name? Friggin' loose lips...)

RedneckInNY said...

Damned internet. First it was all about cybersex. Now this. Sheesh.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

I haven't been on "the big two" in months.

Hell, the word that comes out of my mouth most often at the shop anymore is "plateau". M&P, PX4, 92, 96, 19, 23, USP, XD9, 226, 75B whatever... Plateau guns. Can't get much better than "runnin' and will keep runnin'" so they'r eon the plateau.

I think I've lost my verve for the game, Tam. It might be about time to drop out of the shop for a few months.

Justin said...

C'mon. Raise your hand if you've been in one of those threads.

*Waves hand in the air, like he just don't care*

Yeah, see it every day.

workinwifdakids said...

Yeah, some guy asked about a "sniper rifle" for his first ever rifle. It devolved into the typical crap, but are we here to help, or throw smoke? So, I said "A bolt-action .22LR with iron sights. When you can do whatever you want with that, then go to something else. By that time, you'll know what to do."

::chirp, chirp::

somerled said...

Nah, don't have the time to peruse the forums. Too many black ops, not enough down time. I have just enough time to clean and maintain the weapons, catch some sleep, and catch up with Tam's doings.

Don Meaker said...

I get a few emails from the Detonics fan club. I kind of liked the old Detonics idea, carrying hammer down, and cocking into position like a single action revolver. Boy, people get obsessive about their baby though.

global village idiot said...

Never been on arfcom. I don't think they have anything to tell me, although their "ammo guru" article was worth reading.

Yeah, I used to see "that guy" all the time on Frugal Squirrels. It's important not to confuse "fun to shoot" with "appropriate for purpose." Just like it's important not to confuse "Praise" for "Evidence of fitness."

(Since I've never tried, I don't know--Every firearm I own has wood somewhere in its construction. Can I even get on arfcom if all I own are wood-stocked and wood-gripped firearms?)

gvi al-Black-Rifle-Kafiri

tom-the-impaler said...

You think gun shops are bad, try martial arts equipment shops. A friend of mine owned one in Tulsa and EVERYONE, no matter how dumpy, uncoordinated or inept was a black belt studying under Bruce Lee. Oddly none of them had ever heard of Dan Inosanto or Leo Gaje.

The number of people studying under grandmaster X for 3 months, then leaving and hanging up their own shingle was also quite astounding.

And yeah, they've got their own contingent of specialforcesgreenberetsRDTSEALS on hand to tell lies about their time in 'Nam.

og said...

I prefer to spend my time shooting.

John B said...

tom the impaler!
are you talking smack about the esteemed Jerry Peterson and his merry crew? I can't believe I promoted that guy. Now I won't even talk about someone unless I've known about them for a year or five.

Yes, even I, have been taken a few times.

And I have been that guy, much the same way Marko was in the original comments. Wee Schlong Delta, Thanks Marko! Again I feel like a smart doggy for being around such smart people.

Joe in Memphis said...

Have I ever run across those threads? Yes, I have read AR15.com.

Anonymous said...

You know the cool thing about being the SpecOps ninja? They have good dental.

-SayUncle

perlhaqr said...

Ooooh! 9x25!

Anonymous said...

I iZ teh leet un3mp|0y3d gUn stor Clerk.

lissen to MEs only. evr1 else STFU

Tam said...

Wow, "anonymous", I'm cut to teh Qu1Ck.

Anonymous said...

After reading your blog post, I decided to order one of those BlastOmatic 2000s, because they sound pretty neat. But turns out it is an email advertisement spamming program or some such.

Me sad.