Monday, July 14, 2008

The end times are nigh.

The bubble-headed talking noggin on the TeeWee just said that People magazine paid eleven million dollars for the first pics of Brangelina's spawn.

That is perhaps the dumbest, most vacuous, silliest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

If you pay eleven million dollars for a photograph of a still-living human, you should do a half-gainer into the Soylent Green tank without being pushed, simply out of shame.

15 comments:

perlhaqr said...

Makes me wanna take up photography, I gotta say.

RevGreg said...

The truly disturbing part of it is that they'll likely MAKE money on the deal, which means that there are FAR too many celebrity worshipping mouth-breathers who are living their lives vicariously through the media out there.

Joe Allen said...

Soylent Green is PEOPLE™!

Joe

Would have been funnier with placed image tag.

Matt G said...

perlhaqr, if Branjolina didn't jack up the price and make the sale themselves, then they're chumps of the highest order. What's funnier than getting some fool to pay $11,000,000.00 for pics of your new kid, who looks every bit as much like a poorly-plucked chicken as all the rest of 'em?

I'd laugh 'til I split my pants if I could get that deal for my kids.

The Captain said...

...you should do a half-gainer into the Soylent Green tank without being pushed, simply out of shame.

You assume the tabloid media has any shame. I think they've demonstrated that they do not.

Standard Mischief said...

If they have any integrity, they'll bank that $11,000,000 in a diverse portfolio to completely benefit the kid.

I, at least, (maybe not Brad and Angelina's kid) could live off just the interest (at 5%, about 45k per month, pre-tax).

Imagine working one day in life, your first, and taking the rest of your life off.

Mr. Oblivious said...

I might suggest the same solution for anyone that willingly pays for People magazine.

B&N said...

In addition to the half-gainer, may we also bind the hands and feet prior to the dive?

Wouldn't want the dumb, vacuous idiot who paid out deciding he wants out of the vat after taking said plunge, would we?

DirtCrashr said...

The problem is that "celebrity worshiping mouth-breathers who are living their lives vicariously through the media" are exactly who will vote for the 'Bombster, because he's the candyman and he makes them feel good about themselves.

Ride Fast said...

[...] Ouch! [...]

red said...

"If you pay eleven million dollars for a photograph of a still-living human, you should do a half-gainer into the Soylent Green tank without being pushed, simply out of shame."

Lol!

juris imprudent said...

Ah, the beauty of the marketplace at work.

Tam said...

Just because something is legal, or even moral, doesn't mean it's not tacky as all hell.

Firehand said...

This is expected; after all, the 'evening news' will put off telling you about a disaster somewhere to first throw out the current 'Ain't they wunnerful?' celebrity crap.

I'm flat amazed that they'd pay that much, even so.

Christina LMT said...

@ Anonymous Standard Mischief...

they've said they're giving the money to charity. The ONLY good thing about this entire farce.