Thursday, October 08, 2009

Boyz In Tha 'Hood.

For those unfamiliar with Indianapolis geography or demographics, Brownsburg is a sleepy commuter 'burb to the northwest of town, 'way out past the reservoir, where the subdivisions thin out and the cornfields thicken, and minivans and MBAs start giving way to mullets and Monte Carlos.

There are no mean streets in B'burg, not even any mildly peeved streets; just Little League and yard sales on the weekends. This makes it hard for teenagers in Brownsburg to convince their friends that they lead secret lives as hardcore gang bangers (maybe they commute downtown like their parents, but for more nefarious purposes.)

One particular teen was so intent on proving his banger bona fides to his B'burg buddies that he shot himself four times with... get this: a pellet gun, and claimed that he'd been attacked by a rival. He even had his friend's dad call 911. The police were not amused.

A pellet gun? Jeezis, Opie, when Aunt Bea finds out you shot yourself with a pellet gun and got blood on the velour upholstery of her minivan, you're going to get in trouble. She's gonna take away your PS3 and it'll be no more Grand Theft Auto for you!

13 comments:

og said...

Yo Yo Yo!

reflectoscope said...

At least Plaxico had the decency to shoot himself with a real gun.

Jim

Noah D said...

Yep, that's Brownsburg. But I like the place - a great deal, actually. It gives me alternatives for going to Marion County when I need to go to Krogers or Wal-Mart. In fact, it's got the nicest, cleanest Wally-World I've ever seen. Organized, neatly stocked, with friendly and polite staff. It's like some kind of reverse-Twilight Zone.

Anonymous said...

I had a friend who was a minister there for a couple of years and I really enjoyed visits for exactly that reason. It was a lovely place although I still brought my .44 with me which he couldn't understand.

Seems like about this time there is a covered bridge festival a little west of there that we enjoyed. Being retired now, I'll have to check that out.

Anonymous said...

Home of Joey "The Brownsburg Bullet" Saldana - who had nothing to do with the shooting - and quite a few dirt-track race teams. Larry Weeks

Weer'd Beard said...

http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20091007teen/srvc=home&position=also

Could have been worse.

"Spader, the other accused killer, showed signs of being a misfit - having once drawn a swastika on his head and proclaiming himself a member of the predominantly black Crips gang."

Thank god your toolbox decided to shoot HIMSELF, and not hack up a woman and a little girl with a Machete....

Liberty Girl said...

19 year old ≠ "man"

perlhaqr said...

Liberty Girl: Especially not one who still plays "Cops and Robbers".

WV: "adoly" Yes, maybe we should get him a dolly.

Anonymous said...

Yo, yo, yo, you in da 'burg, homie!

Iz gonna get sum spinnin' rim for meye mini-van, ba-dow!

Shootin' Buddy

randy said...

Booso, a member of the U.S. Navy who is on leave

If you'r ex and friends aren't impressed with you being in the US Military during war time, I'd say it was time to get a new set of friends and be thankful she's an ex.

Of course, this incident combined with
had a history of prescription drug abuse

Don't bode well for his career prospects, assuming he isn't a boot camp washout or other type of wannabe poser.

NattyBumpo said...

It sounds to me like he had just finished boot, and was on his first leave home for 30, before being sent to his first sea tour. I would not want to be him when he shows up for first call on that first day. His CPO is going to have ALL sorts of fun with this one. The Navy won't bust him out for this, but he will know the heft of a mop for a LONG time. And there just might be a few REAL gang-bangers on his ship that might make his life even more interesting. He should have picked something safe like saying we was a Power Ranger.

Nat

Priest said...

That article kinda reminds me of a certain Dynamite Hack video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMlPVpXtkJY

Evyl Robot said...

LOL! I kind of almost feel sorry for the kid. ...oh, wait. No, I don't!